Tom Simmons- Men’s Health and Vulnerability

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Interview with Tom Simmons 10_14_2020

[00:00:27] Mike: Hey everybody. Welcome back to Java chat. It’s coffee with Mike out here with Tom Simmons. Now, if you guys don’t, you guys don’t know who Tom Simmons is about to get an education in mindset and how to be a real overcomer cause this, this man has been through it and he’s out there advocating and, just getting everybody riled up in the right ways.

[00:00:54] Thanks for joining us, Tom. Really appreciate you coming and hanging out with us. 

[00:00:58]Tom Simmons: [00:00:58] Thanks for having me, Michael. It’s great to be on. 

[00:01:02] Mike: [00:01:02] I saw you had your, your, your milk there, so we’re, we’re good with the beverage. We’re doing good.  It’s all good. Give us an idea, Tom. first off your story is like kind of crazy dude.

[00:01:16] You were, you were diagnosed with something pretty serious at the age of 20. And yeah, you, you were already dealing with anxiety and things of that nature before that, or that, that just egged it on. Or was that something that came out of, obviously it came out of left field. What am I going to ask you a bit, but how did, how did, how did that come about?

[00:01:34] I mean, what, tell us a little bit more about you. 

[00:01:38]Tom Simmons: [00:01:38] Cool. Okay. So weirdly this is going to sound really odd to some people, but the cancer part was easy. And the part that was. What threw me was the heart arrhythmia. So yeah, prior to my cancer scare, I gave myself a heart arrhythmia, which fortunately wasn’t permanent and only lasted about 24 hours, but it was enough those 24 hours for enough to shock my system and. Mentally and emotionally throw me into a completely new, a best. I had no idea how to manage or deal with, so that was, yeah, that was a, that was a, that was an interesting place to be. And in this 24 hours, for sure. 

[00:02:23] Mike: [00:02:23] And you did that at the, that happened to you at the age of 20. 

[00:02:28] So here’s a young guy with like literally only 20 years on the planet.

[00:02:34] And all of a sudden he’s being told, Hey, by the way, your heart’s going nuts.  How’s that how’s that for a how’s that for a nice little wake up call? 

[00:02:44] Tom Simmons: [00:02:44] Well, I, it was, it was really, really difficult for me to comprehend. Like it woke me up to the fact how emotionally immature I was. Cause I just didn’t have the emotional intelligence to be able to really digest it.

[00:03:02] And that’s why. That’s what kind of catapulted me into all the emotional pain and suffering, because what was happening was up until I was 20. I was, you think you’re young, you think you’re invincible and suddenly you’ll know you’ll not. And you get a very humbling experience.  It’s a very humbling experience where it just completely shocked me.

[00:03:25] The pride. And, as a young man who, you, you kind of saw a lot of themselves suddenly it was like, well, Tommy you’ve, maybe you’ve really kind of, you’re kind of playing with death there. And, that was really difficult, really difficult. 

[00:03:41] Mike: [00:03:41] You literally had to consider mortality at a very early age and come to terms with the fact that we aren’t invincible, which by the way, when you get to my age, those thoughts come back. Just so you know, I’m 48. 

[00:03:53] You have more to look forward to, but the idea of having to deal with your mortality at such an early age, what does that do to your psyche? I mean, 

[00:04:03] Tom Simmons: [00:04:03] Well,  I mean, I’m just going to put it into perspective. I mean, I was laying on the hospital bed and they said to me, Tom, we might have to put you on the anesthetic and we might have to restart your heart.

[00:04:18] Let know what you call them. The electric pads. I remember I remember lying there and, I was with my parents and it’s the whole thing. Just kind of sunk in where I was like, wow, like I have this. This is,

[00:04:35] meanwhile my heart was going to tinkering away. I think they think big that, it was just not a normal in terms of, in terms of mindset. I mean, it took me about two years for it to really cause what happened was, is I went through a state of denial initially, where it was exclusive, right? This is, this has happens.

[00:04:51] I went, I went about trying to live my life the same way that I did before. Cause I thought, Oh, it’s happened. I’ll be fine. I’ll just crack on. And I just hope it won’t happen again. And then, and then what happened because of that kind of naive ignorance thinking what that then meant was? I just, I guess that lifestyle just kept.

[00:05:14] Giving me more indicators of, why I need to change. So basically I kept getting heart palpitations. I started developing digestion problems. I started developing sleep problem. I started basically developing all these issues that were a product of just fear and anxiety and stress. And over two years it took me two years to really kind of understand like, wow, I’m going to have to literally just change my life because otherwise I’m going to be.

[00:05:37] In pain and suffering. And that took a long time. So that the heart thing was like the catalyst. And then it took about two years for it to kind of go down all the way to the bottom for me to like look up at the light. Is it goes at the bottom of the well or the home look up.  

[00:05:52]Mike: [00:05:52] And then, and when did the cancer diagnosis come in?

[00:05:56] Tom Simmons: [00:05:56] That was a year after the heart scare. 

[00:05:58] Mike: [00:05:58] So you were half, you were only halfway through the drop.  And how did that, and how did that, I mean, is, was the point of view realization at the end of two years, or did that one, like really,  bring you to the, to the light at that point. What, where was it?

[00:06:13] Tom Simmons: [00:06:13] Well, it definitely didn’t help. 

[00:06:16] Mike: [00:06:16] I’m quite sure it didn’t, but I mean, here’s a slippery slope for you here. Here’s some water let’s make it muddy. 

[00:06:24] Tom Simmons: [00:06:24] Yeah, it was like  it was like putting some lubricant on 

[00:06:30] Mike: [00:06:30] the steel siding that you’re trying to climb out with rubber slippers.  

[00:06:35] Tom Simmons: [00:06:35] oh my gosh. 

[00:06:38] But, the great, it sounds weird me saying this, but the great thing about the cancer was it was logical and it was like in the sense that you get diagnosed and, your treatment process, and then you, then you get cured. Well, I am a fortunate case. I got lucky where I got cured and then I got removed and I didn’t have the chemo and everything else, but I’m wanting to say that was a great thing was because within two weeks I’d gone from a state of shock to a state of cool.

[00:07:01] It’s done. I can now move forward. Whereas the. A heart arrhythmia because it kept, I kept getting palpitations. Like I didn’t get arrhythmias, but I kept getting these constant reminders, daily reminders that my heart was kind of out of sync and that pride or my naive mind where it was like, Oh, it’s it’s I’ve had a publication.

[00:07:21] I’m going to ask that. And it was like that constant fear narrative that I was, I was. Fearing the worst case scenario, it was like,  and that rationale just intensify, intensify, and snowballed and snowballed where every time I had a different kind of heart, Hesitation. I would just freak out and you’d like the amount of times I ended up in, I don’t know what you call it in America, but in a, in let’s say hospital in the emergency room, I must say that they knew me.

[00:07:49] They knew me. All of them knew me by my first name because I was in there every week. Cause I had contracts. And then, I then associated to any symptom that I got in a worst case scenario, be it my heart, but I had the digestive problem, any sense? And I was like, wow, okay. This is, I didn’t Google this.

[00:08:06] And then, classic Google gives you the worst case scenario. Then you start, you start thinking 

[00:08:12] Mike: [00:08:12] it’s supposed to be everybody’s friend here. Google’s making a mockery of life for you on this. Just like killing it. 

[00:08:18] Tom Simmons: [00:08:18] It’s insane. 

[00:08:19] Mike: [00:08:19] But you, you, you got, you got to a point though. You said earlier, you got to a point where you started realizing, Hey, something’s got to shift.

[00:08:27] I got to do something different here. I mean, what was that journey like? I mean, after the slide, let’s start looking at the guns, start getting out of that hole.

[00:08:37] Tom Simmons: [00:08:37] So it basically, I remember I, I remember I was with my two sisters and we were sharing a drink cause I used to drink quite a lot.

[00:08:48] And I remember, going to bed that night and I thought I’d be okay. And then the next morning I remember waking up feeling lower than I’d ever felt like ever. I just remember thinking I don’t want to get out of bed. Like I had no desire and no motivation. That was just like, It was just a re I could, it was just a decisive kind of low point.

[00:09:10] Well, I was like, wow. And that’s when I kind of woke up and I was like, Can I swear? 

[00:09:17] Mike: [00:09:17] No, no, absolutely. 

[00:09:18] Tom Simmons: [00:09:18] Oh, okay. Okay. I was just like 

[00:09:22] Mike: [00:09:22]  shit like that. Ain’t swearing. That’s just normal language out here in America. Just fuck it. Do it. It’s not a big deal. 

[00:09:30] Tom Simmons: [00:09:30] I just was like, I, if I don’t change, like I basically came across the quotes.

[00:09:36] What’s the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. I like, I remember reading that it was someone sent it to me and I was like, wow. Like if, if I don’t change my daily inputs or my routine and kind of what I’ve been doing philosophy it’s and obviously I’m going to keep seeing the same old suffering and pain output.

[00:09:54] So that’s when the reality hits. And then I was like, well, I’m going to have to really shake the tree here and change things up. 

[00:10:01] Mike: [00:10:01] And then. What did you start doing? I mean, how did you, I mean, obviously you, can’t just, it’s not a one eight, some people can, I don’t know. Maybe you did not. Everybody can do a one 80 hit and just all of a sudden.

[00:10:15] Take off in a direction. What steps did you have to take because, and mind you in relationship to some of our listeners who are entrepreneurs and business professionals that deal with anxiety and maybe not, maybe not how you had to deal with the health issues, but they deal with anxiety too. What are the steps that you had to take to be able to March yourself back from that low point where you were just like, no, screw this. I can’t do this.  

[00:10:39] Tom Simmons: [00:10:39] So fundamentally it took a lot of sacrifice. So I had to give up a lot and I had to say no a lot. I think those are the kind of like the two fundamental things where I had to kind of, for instance, for example, I gave up drinking and that meant basically I gave up a lot of my social life in many ways, and have to concentrate kind of on myself.

[00:10:59] I basically had to. I had to go from being an extra bit to an introvert, which was, which was the way that it’s changed. Cause I used to thrive off external stimulus. And then I started having to realize that I had to become a bit more comfortable in my own company and start doing. Kind of, the inner work and kind of the self love work, which I hadn’t been doing.

[00:11:20] And that, that took a long time for me to really get my head round. Because when your cultural surrounding is forcing you to try and comply to the way that it operates in terms of you go to the pub, you see friends, you drink, you smoke, you, you do all the things that normal people do. But when you’re in a state of anxiety or some form of pain, it’s really hard to be present within those.

[00:11:43] Normal settings. So I basically had to, I had to do away with that and I had to go out on this discovery mission to figure out what was out there to help myself. And I came across all sorts of weird and wonderful things, I kind of, a lot of people go down the conventional route of taking drugs or medicines and I’ve, I wanted to do it naturally.

[00:12:02] And. Maybe do a bit unconventionally and I’m pleased I did because I’ve discovered some amazing things and they’ve really helped. 

[00:12:10] Mike: [00:12:10] What are some of those tools that have helped that are, that you called conventional? Cause even for me, like. I’ve had that life where I was, I was, I’m a closet introvert, so I’ll be the life of the party and I can have fun like everybody else.

[00:12:25] And I used to drink a shit ton as well. I don’t drink as much, not like half, not even a quarter, as much as I used to. Because I was a musician for 15 years. We all know that scene, everybody’s up for a good party. And then, you play music, have fun and go home and hopefully wake up the next day.

[00:12:42]But you get to a point in life where you start, like you did, you have to realize, okay, this is not working. It’s not doing anything for my future life. It’s not setting me up for any kind of success. I mean, literally. I no longer play professionally. I can still play, but I don’t do it professionally.

[00:13:00] I do that instead, and I’ve discovered a few tools and a couple of things as well, that are not correct considering, especially when dealing with anxiety and stuff. So what have you found that has worked for you that have been those?

[00:13:17] Tom Simmons: [00:13:17] So I think the most compelling one initially was, and this might surprise to people, but breath work like conscious breathing.

[00:13:26] Mike: [00:13:26] Yes. That’s good stuff, dude. in fact using  you it’s in your profile, you talk about breathing. and I can’t remember where I saw it. What methods are you doing? 

[00:13:39] Tom Simmons: [00:13:39] Well, I CA I came across a crazy, crazy he’s called the Iceman Wim Hoff. 

[00:13:45] Mike: [00:13:45] I do that. Yes, 20 breaths in the morning. Oh, it’s all good.

[00:13:51] It’s brilliant. 

[00:13:52] Tom Simmons: [00:13:52] Yes, absolutely. It’s amazing. And like, there might be people listen to it. So I think what breathing, we do that anyway, like

[00:14:00] no, you’re and I was, I was like, I remember I was always the most cynical person at the moment, but my brother said to me, Tom, go and check out this docket. When Murphy’s coming to London, go to his experience. I think you’ll like it. I was like Harry. Shut up, like shut up. This is, this is bollocks mate.

[00:14:19] Like you can’t change your attitude and your psyche through your breath. Like, what planet are you on? Like, anyway, he, he kind of forced me to go and I got these tickets and I went and, Oh my God, it was. Unbelievable like that is when like the penny dropped when I was like, wow, like there is, there are some really powerful things out here that at the time it was pretty unheard of.

[00:14:45] I know he’s got, he’s pretty, well, he’s pretty well renowned now, but I went to the expensive, so we all did those 800 of us in this big theater. And we were all just breathing like an hour. 

[00:14:58] Mike: [00:14:58] I sure hope you were circulating air in there. Cause that’s a lot of carbon dioxide,

[00:15:06] but I bet, I bet that consciousness in that room had to have been insane. It was crazy.

[00:15:12] Tom Simmons: [00:15:12]  It was crazy. The energy you made was unbelievable. I’ve never been in an environment like it, like people were having these. Like, I don’t want to say psychedelic experiences, but I think like you have the energies and things that you suppress, I think throughout your life, if you, and I think like a lot of in a stuff just gets released and it’s like, it’s just the most amazing like cleansing methods.

[00:15:41] And I remember just walking away from that, we did an ice bath. He’s big into his ice as well. And I just remember coming away from that thinking, well, this is some really powerful stuff. So I ended up doing, I ended up basically started doing the Wim Hof method every day, and I just started seeing some amazing benefits on the back of that.

[00:15:59] Mike: [00:15:59] What were some of those, what were some of those beanies? Well, just so people understand it. Cause, cause when you, when you talk about how , like you said, everybody, Oh, we breathe.  You don’t breathe. You sit. Thank you. Breathe. You take a couple of short breaths and just to keep yourself alive is what you really do.

[00:16:14] Especially if, as an entrepreneur, I’ve always been one of those guys I’m here and a computer. Well, we’re hunched over. We don’t have all the room in our lungs that we should be having when we’re not up breathing, we’re not, we’re not putting in the full amount and we’re not allowing the oxygen to really reach all the cells in our body?

[00:16:32] And that, and that’s, I think a lot of people misunderstand that there’s a difference between reading and just taking a breath, which is what most people are doing. They’re just taking a breath, staying alive. What we’ve learned from Wim, Hoff, who guys that the guy’s a trip. I mean, Lived on an iceberg for a week, come on.

[00:16:53] Who does that? But, the amount of, and I used to be in massage therapy back in Hawaii tube was the, one of the things that I had my hands in. You learn a lot about when it comes to breathing and moving energies and things of that nature. So what are some of the realizations you had as you were going through that and doing these breathing exercises?

[00:17:13] Tom Simmons: [00:17:13] Well it’s. Yeah, it’s funny. Cause I went from so to, to set that, to set that context. So before that I was very emotionally volatile. I was very anxious. I’d get all the chest tightness, the classic kind of, fight and flight response symptoms that you associate with stress, I’d get the shallow breathing, the kind of the eras, the irritable, the lack of focus, the, all these classic stress responses, that, that.

[00:17:38] Bad digestion, everything. It was just manifesting because I was a chronic over-breathing, you’ve talked about it there. When, when we’re stressed, we hyperventilate, we, we over breathe and then that can instigate the sympathetic response. And then you go to fight in a chronic state of flight and then that’s real trouble and you need to get yourself out of that.

[00:17:58] So basically when I started in the Wim Hoff, I started off to the, I do three rounds every morning, took about 15 minutes. And then throughout the day I find myself a lot more likeable. Lot more calm and relaxed. So, whereas I would react to certain situations in quite an extreme way. I felt I was a lot more composed and my resilience, my emotional resilience started to increase where it was just a lot more.

[00:18:23] Yeah, I just, I guess I wasn’t so reactive and I guess I was just a little more present and, it was really weird. I was actually quite surprised by the effects. I was like, wow. Like I kind of started questioning myself, like, wait, hang on. How do I, how do I feel like this? Like I was so used to feeling so anxious.

[00:18:38] I started just questioning this new normal. It was just such a weird place to be. 

[00:18:43] Mike: [00:18:43] It is, but isn’t it amazing. Isn’t it amazing. What a calm space is like when you’re looking at a life that’s consistently stressful. Because the rest of the world is stressed. I mean, like even right now it’s really stressed, but there’s a bunch of us that are out here.

[00:19:06] Like, okay. I constantly get that from, from some of my friends. How can you not be wigged out with everything that’s going on right now? See. Why am I supposed to be doing that over it? If, if I’m going to wig out, let me feel if all of you, what have I done to help the situation. So I’d rather just, like you said, I’d rather just breathe, trust the process and keep doing my little part.

[00:19:29] It’ll all work out in the end, this and that took me like 10 years, right after I stopped playing music. Cause it wasn’t a, it wasn’t a pleasant end for me. And you want to talk about fight or flight buddy? I had, I had a new baby. I had a struggling marriage, but like really struggling. I had no home life back in Hawaii.

[00:19:52] It was just, it was backwards, but I look at it today and I’m like, yeah, there was no reason to stress out over all of that. I should’ve just, I should have just breathed. And I think, I think finding. This is cool. When I find people that come across the same stuff that I do and they’re using it, I’m like, yes, as you went through that, but this is something that you’re continuously doing now.

[00:20:17] But what other things have you found other things, are you using? Cause it’s like being a guy, mental health with men, especially with everything that’s been going on in all of the movements and all the other things that are going on in this world. Being a guy in this world has become. Extra stressful, like more than normal.

[00:20:39] So how, how, what other things, what other things have you found that have been effective? 

[00:20:45] Tom Simmons: [00:20:45] Well, I saw it from the breast work. I mean, what else have I found? I mean, I mean, we could delve into nutrition cause I ended up for me anyway, through my kind of context. My anxiety led to me having all sorts of, got problems and digestive problems.

[00:21:04] So I had to really then really hone in on what I was putting in my mouth. Terry and carnival took me down so many different rabbit holes with different diets, and, that, that was, that was interesting. That was really interesting because obviously, we all, what we saw old cliche, isn’t it. And I think it’s important.

[00:21:25] it’s really important, but, 

[00:21:27] Mike: [00:21:27] What did you find you had to settle on finally? I mean, is it, is it just a combination of things because nobody’s the same, obviously everyone’s gonna know.

[00:21:34] Tom Simmons: [00:21:34] I know everyone’s so individual, but I think I’m now settled on. It’s kind of a, what is it? It’s kind of an inverted comment, kind of known as metabolic diet, which is like advocated by a guy called Ray peat.

[00:21:46] But it’s basically since the rounds, what’s, it sends around like, fruits, meat and dairy, essentially. 

[00:21:58] Mike: [00:21:58] It sounds like what I do now, although I’m not doing it consciously, I just sound like what I eat. 

[00:22:05] Tom Simmons: [00:22:05] Well, I think what was interesting in that journey was because I know it’s a real rabbit hole that you could spend a whole session on, but I think what was interesting is I didn’t realize how, problematics vegetables can be.

[00:22:17] and certain foods that were, that are kind of portrayed as kind of healthy foods are actually. Can actually cause a lot of problems. So, I think if you’re stressed and you have gut issues, I think there’s definitely foods that I’ve discovered that I never knew were even in that realm that can add more problems and more inflammations that, and obviously just makes things worse.

[00:22:37] So I think that was what was interesting with all of that. 

[00:22:41] Mike: [00:22:41] I find that a lot of, Because I follow a couple of different doctors that deal with gut health and the gut brain connection and all of that.  And there’s even one guy that says that that’s basically your gut is your second brain. I mean, this is probably going to tell you what’s going on.

[00:22:55] the best thing that I think people miss, or one of the, one of the biggest things I think people miss is the mere fact that people don’t understand that digestion is not an issue. Although it happens inside our body. It’s not an internal process.

[00:23:11] Where’s the inside here? It’s not, but yet that’s our digestive system. That’s our intestines. That’s our stomach. Everything happens in here and yet it’s not really in our body. The nutrients get pulled into our body via that. So it’s still an external process, little things like that may not seem like it’s a big deal, but when you start realizing what it is that you’re actually putting in and what your body’s going to try to pull out of it.

[00:23:36] And then understanding what those nutrients may be like. Nobody thinks that tomatoes are, are, are bad for you and they’re not, but a lot of it could cause some issues. 

[00:23:46]Tom Simmons: [00:23:46] Well, this is the point. So I think the key point here that I learned, so was if you are seeing it, and I liked your point about the gut brain connection.

[00:23:55] Cause I think I definitely correlate whenever my anxiety was at its worst. My gut problems were at their worst correlation. And I definitely talked to a lot of people. A lot of people that I talk to that are anxious tend to have fun. They tend to have gut problems and I think. The thing that I learned was I ended up doing the elimination diet.

[00:24:13] So I basically did the carnival diets, which I know a lot of people say is quite extreme. But I think when you do an elimination diet, a carnival diet, and let’s say you cleanse everything. And then, and then what you’re able to figure out is once you start reintroducing foods, you can then figure out what triggers you and what doesn’t.

[00:24:27] And I think, yeah, I think that’s it. I think it’s a really effective tool that people can use because that’s assumed that you’re struggling and you might be eating lots of broccoli or you might be, and something that you think is innocent, but actually it could be causing you not a problem. So I think when you, when you do a diet at the carnival diet, I think it can be really useful.

[00:24:44] Cause it just helps highlight what foods could actually be causing you a lot of gut inflammation and therefore. Could be impacting your mental health, right? 

[00:24:51]Mike: [00:24:51] And it’s not a, it’s not a suggestion to live on a certain diet, but that’s definitely where you can at least figure out what’s going on and figure out your body type and what it can actually process well to keep you well, you said that everybody’s an individual.

[00:25:07] The one person is the same. You might, you might be able to digest beef all day and I can’t touch it, that’s not the truth. I love beef. That’s different sources, but you get the point, the idea of, of being the individuals that we are and understanding ourselves by doing these things like the elimination diet, which I’ve done that.

[00:25:24] And there are certain foods I won’t touch. There’s an by the way, guys. If the taste doesn’t agree with you, it’s kind of a telltale sign. It’s not something that you really want in your body. 

[00:25:35]Tom Simmons: [00:25:35] Intuition, intuition is powerful, isn’t it? But I think intuition is a bit of a woo and I’ve had to teach myself this.

[00:25:42] I’ve had to pick up. 

[00:25:43] Mike: [00:25:43] What’s funny is it’s not though. It’s your body’s killing it. I think people have put it into Wu because it’s like, well, that was coincidental. No, it’s not. It’s your body telling what the hell is going on. We’re like, I think people forget that we are very, very powerful. Now this is going to sound a little.

[00:25:57] People are very, very powerful. Does it not make sense that we were designed this way so that we could tell what was good for us and what wasn’t. In other words, it’s the old don’t touch the hot plate near it’s hot. What do we do? Like kids?  Same story with anything that we eat, anything that we put, any situations we put ourselves in, not everybody’s cut out to be in business, not everybody’s cut out to be a farmer, not everybody’s cut out to be a diver, et cetera, et cetera.

[00:26:23] We are, we, we know without knowing, which is funny, a lot of people don’t understand that you obviously gotten a nice little journey down that run to know what’s good. And what’s not, dealing with that by the way, guys, we got to take a short pause. Holy cow, this is rolling fast. I’m not even halfway what I wanted to ask you.

[00:26:43] We’re going to just sort of pause for about 30 seconds and we will, we’ll be right back, just, pause for the cause we come back and we’ll talk a little bit more about, how Tom’s going along. What’s keeping him motivated. What’s keeping him moving. 

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Alright guys we’re back. And we’re back here at Java chat with Tom Simmons, talking about what motivates and what gets you moving in the morning.

[00:27:06] So like, It’s as, for some people, it’s a simple question while we go, we think a little differently. Every human does, obviously, what are the things that get you inspired? I’ll go one step further. What are the things that inspire you? Why, why is it that you’re doing what you’re doing? 

[00:27:27] Tom Simmons: [00:27:27] Cool. That’s a, that’s a great question. I, I guess a lot of it’s for selfish reasons in terms of like, trying to just keep my. Trying to live so that my health is in check. I think, because of what I’ve been through health wise, a lot of the choices and decisions and things that I do have centered around keeping me on a even keel so that I don’t fall back into sort of problem cited.

[00:27:50] And that really centers around for me, that sense around them having a really strong routine. so I have a kind of a morning route. You could say a morning ritual that I do religiously every morning. I’m I feel like that really sets me up for having a productive day and then I’ll have an evening routine.

[00:28:07] Cause I feel like I love the, the quote I heard. If you went in the morning, you win the day. I actually think winning the next day. Starts with winning the evening before if that makes sense. 

[00:28:17] Mike: [00:28:17] I agreed. 

[00:28:20] Tom Simmons: [00:28:20] so I’ll tend to spend about half an hour, 40 minutes at about half nine, 10 in the evening. Just going through my outlook.

[00:28:25] Well, I’ll just have a process that I, that I tap into just to make sure that I can go to bed knowing. Like they can work for me rather than getting on.  Well,  what do I mean?  So, 

[00:28:35] Mike: [00:28:35] Yep. I got a lot of friends that are in the entrepreneurial realm, startup realm, and that’s one of the things that they’ve always done.

[00:28:41] One friend of mine, who’s an angel investor. The night before he’ll go through all of his notes, not just from the day, but from the day previous to see if there’s anything else that needs to be added onto it tomorrow. And that philosophy is exactly what he serves. It’s it’s if I don’t know what’s happening at six in the morning, when I wake up, then I have to go figure it out.

[00:29:00] I won’t figure it out till eight. And by then the stock market’s already been running for about three hours. I’m too late.  

[00:29:06] So I agree with you that that’s probably one of the best, please continue. 

[00:29:13]Tom Simmons: [00:29:13] And so, yeah, so I mean, well, well, where can I go? Where can we go with that? 

[00:29:23] Mike: [00:29:23] we can go into mindset.

[00:29:24] We can go into heart set. We can go into. 

[00:29:27]Tom Simmons: [00:29:27] So the mindset.  So the mindset, so I adhere to, I kind of, I kind of invented this protocol, loosely called the coping method. So what I’ll try and do if I, if I, if I start any new endeavor or attempt or wants to integrate something new into my routine, it will have to go through the coping methods and what that stands for.

[00:29:49] It’s an acronym for CSP consistent O is for open mind. P is for persistence I’s for inquisitive and theists for discipline. So in my view, those are kind of five key, fundamental kind of characteristics that underpin and trying to, do any new thing, essentially. 

[00:30:12] Mike: [00:30:12] What was the I for? 

[00:30:14] Tom Simmons: [00:30:14] Inquisitive it’s I prefer curious, but I needed a bowel to make the acronym.

[00:30:18] So I thought I’d use inquisitive and curious. 

[00:30:21] Mike: [00:30:21] It works. No, it works just fine Copeland school. I like that. The, there’s this, I was taught by my mentors that when you approach a subject that you’re not really knowledgeable about you come with this thing called no mind. No mind is basically I come with no knowledge.

[00:30:37] I know nothing. I’m here to learn, teach me everything he can.  Even if I think I’m the expert in the field, I come with no mind, because I, something I don’t, your life experience has taught you something that my life experience has not. So why am I going to come in and try to tell you what , and what you don’t know?

[00:30:58] I’m there to learn to cope. It works. I mean, coming with an inquisitive mind, but it’s like, well, how does that work? Or what does that work? What is it that you’ve learned that sustains them, we’re doing here? What is it that motivates and inspires you? What is it that you use as a tool to be able to get through something, any situation or something new and what, what Mo what motivates your mind to go?

[00:31:21] That’s cool. I want to know more so I worked, dude. I totally, I totally get it. That that totally works. When, when, who are some of the mentors that you look up to them? So people that, whether, whether they’re actually interacting with you or people that you, you look. Yeah, 

[00:31:37] Tom Simmons: [00:31:37] that’s a great one. So Tim Ferris was a big one in my early days.

[00:31:44] He’s crazy. I 

[00:31:45] Mike: [00:31:45]  I swear it Tim’s everybody’s mentor. It’s not talking to me. 

[00:31:48] Tom Simmons: [00:31:48] Yeah, he’s great. He is. He is brilliant. I’ve read some of those books for our work week. And, what was it? The tightened tools, tools for Titans ones.

[00:31:58] Mike: [00:31:58] Definitely a good book. Yup. 

[00:32:00] Tom Simmons: [00:32:00] Yeah, he’s great. I mean, Joe Rogan, not him himself, but the people that he gets on his podcast, like the breadth of expertise that he gets in there, I think is amazing.

[00:32:11] Like there’s some incredible content that he’s putting out, but his, his long form.

[00:32:14] Mike: [00:32:14] A podcast. He had Jordan Peterson on, if you want to talk about a hell of a podcast, I mean, Jordan, literally cycle at a 

[00:32:25] Tom Simmons: [00:32:25] licensed chip while 

[00:32:26] Mike: [00:32:26] he’s sitting there and I’m looking at it going, I, that Joe knows what’s going on right now.

[00:32:31] Here’s the bottom line. This is exactly what I think is going on with you. And I’m like, wow. I actually hope I can get Jordan on this podcast one day. I think it would be awesome. I don’t have a two hour long show, but the man is brilliant. Have you read his book, 12 rules for life. 

[00:32:48] Tom Simmons: [00:32:48] I’ve got it to read it.

[00:32:50] I’ve watched a lot. I’ve studied it. Not apart from his book. Like I’m watching a lot of his content and he’s incredible. He’s inspiring. 

[00:32:57] Mike: [00:32:57] He’s very practical. I mean, if you think about as, as much as an, an intellectual academic intellectual as he is, he’s very practical with that Intel, with that intelligence. He doesn’t talk over anybody’s heads. He  literally, 

[00:33:11] he just, he literally lays it out for you so that it’s like, look. Here’s what you’re looking at. Here’s what you’re dealing with. You’re calling on how you want to do it.  And I think, I think that’s why he’s probably one of the more noted people to follow. Who else?   

[00:33:29] Tom Simmons: [00:33:31] Children pizzas. It’s brilliant. I would have mentioned them. Who else? Pool check. I love pool check. I don’t know whether you’ve ever come across pool shack. 

[00:33:39] Mike: [00:33:39] I’ll have to look that one up. I haven’t heard that one. 

[00:33:42] Tom Simmons: [00:33:42] He’s brilliant. He’s absolutely brilliant. And then stuff like tar Ken’s, Bri has probably costs.

[00:33:48] He’s good. and it’s, it really depends though. Cause I, I kind of tap into different people for if I want to kind of for exercise and movement, that will be a certain group of it’s kind of spiritual motivation. That’s, you kind of tap into different people.

[00:34:01] Mike: [00:34:01] Sure, sure. That’s one of the things though, is that you can’t, you can’t it’s.

[00:34:06] You always want to have a variety of mentors. And that’s something that even in an internship, no ship and startups, we always tell everybody don’t just stick to one person. Most successful people on the planet have more than one coach, for different, for different reasons and for different things.

[00:34:22] Even for myself, it’s like, what am I working on this week or today, or this month? And I go, and I look to follow those who are. Core in that space. and then of course we have the ones that we normally look up to, Dave Asprey, who’s the, who’s the body hacking deal, the health hacker, right?

[00:34:40] Guys, dude’s amazing. I watched him when he first got started and his whole journey from being unhealthy to creating Bulletproof. A hell of a story. He’s another guy I want to get on this podcast. Cause he’s, he’s another, he’s just hard to get ahold of. 

[00:34:57] Tom Simmons: [00:34:57] So I’ve got to mention, I could have mentioned about rabbit cards if you come across Navarro rather can’t 

[00:35:02] Mike: [00:35:02] I haven’t.

[00:35:02] So do me a favor and send me the spelling of that name. Cause that’ll be all this kind of stuff we put down in the comments so that our listeners can go and check them out too. what, what are they about? 

[00:35:13] Tom Simmons: [00:35:13] He’s amazing. He was the co-founder of angel list, or I think he founded angel list and he’s incredible.

[00:35:20] His Joe Rogan is unbelievable. He’s just a very. He’s a very knowledgeable intellect on all sorts of topics, but just like how to be just a good person, like within life, within business, like he just had some amazing sentiment that he offers and all sorts of. It’s just very humble and modest. And I really resonate with that because of the stature that he carries.

[00:35:41] I just love that. So I just, I think it’s worth mentioning. 

[00:35:44] Mike: [00:35:44] So you had all of those guys to follow people because I’m sure there’s more, you’ve got. You’ve definitely got to drive to get up and do something.  It may sound self serving, but obviously it’s serving others because you’re bringing experience to the table that other people don’t have.

[00:36:05] And you’re sharing that even in the midst of all of that, you can still go. You can still do you haven’t been limited. there’s the old story. I can’t remember the gentleman’s name, but two accidents in his life. The first one was a motorcycle accident was burned over most of his body in the hospital. He said, yeah, I used to be able to do, a hundred thousand things I can do 90 or something like that.

[00:36:28] And then he got into an airplane crash or something am I might have it backwards, but he got into two different accidents and each time he said, I can only do 10,000 things less, but I still can do all of these. And I think when you have stories like yours, that are, Hey, I’ve been there. I’ve done that.

[00:36:47] You have all of this from before. Obviously you had to change your social life as well. Hopefully you haven’t lost complete contact with, with your social life, but because all of a sudden, I’m, I’m sure you’ve now got a new social group. People that are crowded around you. And I probably can, if, if you, if you understand the term kin that you vibe with, I mean, is that a fair statement?

[00:37:17] Tom Simmons: [00:37:17] That’s very fair. I think what I, what I found refreshing is I was so motivated by quantity over quality. And now I’m very, now it’s flipped on its head where I’d much rather have a small tribe that I love. Unconditionally and just want to invest quality time and with, and it’s just the whole thing’s changed where I just re I I’m almost debated about more meaningful relationship.

[00:37:44] And doing meaningful things and meaningfully connecting rather than it being about how many more Facebook friends can I get or Instagram followers can I get, I think, but that’s what it was like, that’s what it was like. And it’s taken. It’s taken me the journey that I’ve been on to realize actually, Tom it’s about having four or five people that would take and pull it for you and that you can lean on.

[00:38:08] And I didn’t have that before I sought I did, but it was superficial. And now I, and now I’m pleased. I have that. I feel really grateful that I have that 

[00:38:17] Mike: [00:38:17] interesting how nervous it makes us a person, a human to realize that probably would take a bullet for this person. Because I’m that and do realize the commitment in our own minds to that.

[00:38:35] I mean, think about it. If you’re in a, if you’re in a small group of people that you’d go to battle with, I’ve had friends like that. I have a couple right now like that. If they called and they needed somebody to go back to back with them, I’d be there. And there’s only like two or three. 

[00:38:52] And then, and then there’s the next circle of people that if they need, if they need to talk. They need advice. They need a moment. I got those guys. And then after that, it’s kind of like, well, we’ll fall where you may, but it’s the relationships are much more interesting. Aren’t they massively. Possibly. I mean, think about somebody that everybody talks about, Hey, vibe with me.

[00:39:16] Cool music vibe right on. But, but I think a true vibe and I think you’ll agree with this. And the true vibe is when you can sit down and look at somebody and not even have to say what it is, that’s being thought, you just start doing  and the ability to just look at that person and go, I already knew what you were thinking.

[00:39:36] And I already knew where you were headed. Let’s go do it. It’s a rare relationship, ]isn’t it? Do you have those? 

[00:39:46] So the way I think, I think those are, sometimes mentors can be that too. It’s interesting. Cause I’ve, I’ve actually mentored a couple of people and they picked up on certain things just by looking at me.

[00:40:01] And I was like, you’re that tuned in? And they’re like, yeah, I don’t know why I’m like, probably because you really want to get there.

[00:40:09] Tom Simmons: [00:40:09] That’s just fine.

[00:40:13] Mike: [00:40:13] You’ve progressed that far in, in relationship building. What are some of the things that you look for when you create those? What are some of the things that bring that vibe that you, that, you feel? 

[00:40:24] Tom Simmons: [00:40:24] Yeah, for me, it’s someone that I think aligns with the kind of. By key values in the sense of that are, have an open mind and make me a better person.

[00:40:34] I think fundamentally I want to surround myself with people that make me better and they, and that, and they’re prepared to say, and they’re prepared to, I say, no, I think, I think before I wants to throw my people, throw myself with yes, people. And that’s not the only thing you liked any favors.  And, I am a really, really vulnerable person who, or on a, on a self Johnny who had challenged themselves, challenging their lives up to that, they’re ambitious, they’re motivated.

[00:41:02] And they’re trying to make the motion of what they’ve got. I really, really, really thrive off that. And, I’ve got a couple of mates now that kind of speak the same language and I love that. I really love that. 

[00:41:13] Mike: [00:41:13] That’s awesome. It’s a fun. Yeah, it is. And it’s interesting. You never find them where you think you will.

[00:41:19] Tom Simmons: [00:41:19] No,  you’re and I’m the amount of times. When I’ve met someone and that the ego in you judges them because it’s like, this person doesn’t look like someone that I like. And then half an hour, 40 minutes later, you’re like, fuck

[00:41:37] price myself. So many times, so many times. And I offered, I might tell them why you continue to, why that judgment comes like it continues to come through from know that you’ve been surprised. And I’ve got some great friends now who I thought if I see them in the street, I would’ve thought. 

[00:41:53] Mike: [00:41:53] Nah, we’ve all listened.

[00:41:55] We’ve all done it. I believe it or not. Here, here comes that here comes that insight till later in life, you’re still gonna have it at 48 49. It’s going to happen. Natural tendency of, of preservation, self survival, natural tendency. However we also have, and you you’re, you’re a lot further along than most.

[00:42:15] We also have this other side of us that goes, Hey, shut up for a second. And take an honest look at what’s going on. Why are you feeling that about them? What is wrong with you that is causing you to think that about that person? Do you really know them? No. Then how about you shut up and take about five minutes to really get to know them if they are a douchebag you’ll know in about five minutes.

[00:42:38] But if they’re solid people, you’re going to be like, Oh, I didn’t. Okay. No, I get that. That makes sense. Holy shit. I can buy with this person now. I’ve got a couple of friends that are kind of abrasive, but that’s because they keep a shield on them and I get why they’re abrasive. I keep telling them just slow it down, but it doesn’t really anyway, but their insights.

[00:43:01] Holy shit, dude. I can sit and have conversations like this all day and it just won’t stop. That’s the best feeling in the world when he got a buddy like that. 

[00:43:12] Tom Simmons: [00:43:12] I think the one word that separates that is vulnerability. I think vulnerability is the key behind connection. And I think with men coming back to your point about men earlier, I think as men, it’s kind of, we shouldn’t be vulnerable.

[00:43:24] We find it hard to be vulnerable. Don’t be like society tells us that vulnerability is a weakness 

[00:43:29] Mike: [00:43:29] and that’s, that’s, that’s something that I think has been wrongfully pushed on men. Yeah, because a true leader is vulnerable. Even a King had to admit as strong as he had to be for his people. He didn’t have to admit to his own Knights and his own generals.

[00:43:42] There were certain times where he was worried and he was depending on them to come in and stand in. There was everybody my biggest thing about, and I know you’re out there talking about this. So if you want, let’s run this for a second. Men’s health. Isn’t about being this macho vision.

[00:44:04] It’s about being real and understanding that you may not be able to handle it all on your own. You might need some help and that’s okay. Those three words took me. That’s another part of the 10 year journey I had to do the end that’s okay. Because for a long time, it wasn’t for a man to be vulnerable for men to be opened for men to be able to discuss the sensitive subjects.

[00:44:28] It was not. Okay. And then to find out that some of those subjects didn’t exactly have great endings and it’s still okay. Your thoughts on that?

[00:44:42] Tom Simmons: [00:44:42] Wow. No, I, I completely agree. I completely agree. And it is everything is, is okay. And, I don’t think I can answer that because I would have said the same as you. I feel like that’s exactly how I’d put it. I think, It’s just, unfortunately, the world that we live in, where, in a sense, the qualities in men are somewhat frowned upon and are suppressed.

[00:45:11] And, I don’t know about you in the US but in the UK, the biggest killer below 45 is managed suicide. And that’s because, men suppress our feelings. We don’t have to deal with our feelings cause it’s frowned upon.  

[00:45:25]Mike: [00:45:25] So that brought that. What brought that on that, see, that’s the part that I don’t get is.

[00:45:30] And I’m, I’m not talking about movements or narratives or anything. I’m just like, this has actually been around long before the narratives and long before all of the movements came above, men have, have been like this. I mean, look back, look back between world war II after world war II.  Guys coming home from war and they were a mess and they were told to shut up,

[00:45:55] Not get help. The ones that were really, at the time shellshocked now what we call PTSD, they didn’t know what to do. And the VA certainly wasn’t helping over here in our country. So I don’t know what it was like up there, but when we’re looking at men’s health, what, from your perspective, what needs to happen?

[00:46:18] Tom Simmons: [00:46:18] Yeah, well, it has to. Education from the start, asked to change, everything has to start. 

[00:46:25] Mike: [00:46:25] I agree with the education, go for it. 

[00:46:29] Tom Simmons: [00:46:29] That, that that’s definitely gotta be one massive, but also there has to be a cultural shift where we start encouraging boys or from a young age to, to, to encourage them, to make it okay.

[00:46:41] To talk about your feelings. And, I think it has to start from a young age. I think. The generations above us probably have a role to play in that because they are so used to, I’m not talking about our feelings and being, Being a pretty emotionally kind of shot off.  So I think until the generation starts, well, until that, until we go through that and the younger ones from, from my generation and below start coming through, and that seems to be a normal thing that I think it’s good.

[00:47:12] I think it’s gonna take a lot of time, I think until, until we see systemic change, I think it’s gonna take a lot of time. 

[00:47:19] Mike: [00:47:19] So I’m gonna, I’m going to dig a little deeper and then we’ll take a break. I agree that there needs to be some of a systemic change if you will. But I think it goes even deeper.

[00:47:35] And this is only because I know of some friends who are older than me, that were fathers that talked to their sons early on, that when they were experiencing hardship, even if they were a teenager, is when most teens are taught to be macho and tough and all of that stuff that they would still talk to their sons and going something’s wrong.

[00:47:54] What’s wrong. And if their sons began to tear, they’d look at them and go, keep going. And their sons would trip. It’d be just like, what do you mean? Keep going? He says, you’re about to let loose some real hard emotions. Keep going. It’s okay. To cry. It’s okay. To feel bad. It’s okay to feel good. It’s okay to feel.

[00:48:18] Interestingly enough. I think you might’ve probably seen this. When, when you look at a young toddler, boys and girls, the boys have a tendency to be more emotional than the girls and it switches somewhere where the girls then become more emotional than the guys. But men are still more emotional because if you look at what happens to them after relationships, when they break the girls go through it immediately and the men take fucking years.

[00:48:50] I don’t think it’s, I, I don’t think it’s just a systemic thing that needs to change. I honestly believe it’s an internal system that needs to change. 

[00:49:03] Tom Simmons: [00:49:03] Absolutely. Absolutely. I think that the internal system is dependent on your point about the parenting aspect. Like if you have parents that encourage you to speak openly and, and kind of create that environment and that atmosphere that you’re able to be sensitive and to have those kind of, to have those feelings and.

[00:49:27] I think that’s where it really needs to. I think that’s where the shift needs to take place 

[00:49:32] Mike: [00:49:32] that has to deal with the fact that time and place are not clearly established. Yes. And that, and that I honestly believe is a home culture thing. If like, like we were saying earlier, when, when a parent says you’re in a safe place, you’re in a safe place right now.

[00:49:48] You’re home. Go ahead. 

[00:49:52]Tom Simmons: [00:49:52] Yes. The judgment it’s it’s, it’s not, it’s the judgment piece, isn’t it? The document piece is huge here. Cause if, if, if you then are vulnerable and you talk about your feelings, when someone says, Oh, we should have done this, we should do that. And suddenly someone starts telling you, it’s like, people just want to be hurt.

[00:50:09] , you just wanna, you just want to offload. And then I think I’d been in a number of situations where people then start dictating and timing in and 

[00:50:20] Mike: [00:50:20] Yeah, that’s not what that’s for. That’s for that. And it’s a natural tendency, especially with guys, it’s a natural tendency to fix things. but, and again, it goes back to, alright, are we, are we.

[00:50:36] Are we unloading or are we looking to correct? Or are we looking to fix, which is if you’re going to be vulnerable and you just need to unload, go, if you want some pro, if you want some projects, problem resolution go. Part of it, I would say is, is it’s a two way responsibility. The person that needs to be vulnerable needs to be about why and what they’re doing.

[00:51:02] And then the lack, the lack of judgment on the other side needs to come as well. 

[00:51:06] Tom Simmons: [00:51:06] Yeah.

[00:51:06] Mike: [00:51:06] I think, I think that opens up a great floor with no walls. And then I think things can go someplace. This is just an opinion of mine, but I don’t know if you identify with that or not, but I, I  honestly, think an open floor rather than a boxed wall gives a lot more room for somebody to be fully honorable and allow it to leave.

[00:51:34] I think if more of that were available and the guys were talking to metaphors here, I mean, you’d be, you’re in a, you’re in a room. You obviously got four walls. We’re talking about the mental state. If somebody feels that they have a freedom of movement and they are not going to be harmed in the midst of that freedom of movement, have a tendency to let things go.

[00:51:57] Yeah, I just posted something this morning. That’s one of the seven simple rules of life. Let it go. Like number one. And I still have to tell myself that one every day. 

[00:52:09] Tom Simmons: [00:52:09] That’s, that’s a big one for me at the moment. Cause that’s what I struggle with. 

[00:52:14] Mike: [00:52:14] Why do you think that is.

[00:52:22] I mean, that’s only that one for a singer, but I mean, honestly, why do we do that? Why don’t we do this to ourselves? It doesn’t make sense to me. 

[00:52:29] Tom Simmons: [00:52:29] I’m not, I know, I know it’s possible, I feel like. My biggest hurdle at the moment that I’m trying to jump over is just that if something’s kind of like it could be in your brain when you get, when they, when life sends you, these things that manifest and it’s like, song, just let it go.

[00:52:52] Just finding it hard. Not for it to fail and to, and to intensify, but no, it should be like, It’s that classic don’t try and control what you can’t control. Like obviously COVID and everything. I found it hard not to get rolled with that, but then part of me is like, Tom, these are things completely outside of your control.

[00:53:10] Just let it go. so it’s getting there.

[00:53:17] Mike: [00:53:17] I think I find the same. I find the same issues and the smaller things even, In my, in my little world, there are certain things I can control and certain things I can’t. And I find frustration comes up fairly often when I realize I can’t. and then, and then having to turn around and going and that’s okay.

[00:53:43] Yeah, because it’s like, it has to be, cause it’s not for me to say otherwise. Yeah there that, what was the LT? I’ll trust the process. 

[00:53:55] Tom Simmons: [00:53:55] Cliche destination. 

[00:53:58] Mike: [00:53:58] There’s no destination. Trust the process.

[00:54:04] Anyway, another, another rabbit hole. We could run down for another hour, but we’ve got to take another break. You’re gonna have to come back, dude. We’re gonna have to do this again. We’ll take another 30 seconds guys. We’ll be right back. And then we’re gonna, we’re going to talk, talking a little bit more about what, what Tom’s up to today, what he’s doing, where he’s advocating, where he’s talking.

[00:54:23] He’s got a podcast too you guys, so he’s another guy. He can go listen to this. Hang on. We’ll be right back. 

***

As much as I hate to say it, this is the last section that we’re going to be sitting here with Tom sevens. We’ve been, we’ve just, I don’t know if you guys have been listening to the first two sections we’ve kind of environment.

[00:54:39] and I’ve been loving you dude, so like really thank you for coming and sharing your insights, your story and everything. so what are you doing now? I mean, how are you, how are you bringing this experience out to the rest of the world and getting some people aware of what’s going on? Like for real. 

[00:54:56] Tom Simmons: [00:54:56] So I’m like, perhaps with my Instagram account.

[00:54:59] So basically what I’m doing is I’ve realized that to my experiences, my own learnings, when I was in a dark place and going through it, I was going, I’ve thought that back then I would have loved it. If another guy was just being vulnerable in Candice. Like I am now. So I thought, well, why don’t I just pick an Instagram account and do exactly that.

[00:55:17] So that’s what I’m doing on now. Basically politicizing my journey, that the way the wonderful tools and methods that I do, the way that I feel sometimes I’ll have good days, bad days. And I’ll just say it and I’ll just talk to it on this. I’m on my Instagram and my Facebook. So, that’s what I’m doing.

[00:55:35] and I’m loving it. I’m absolutely loving it. 

[00:55:37] Mike: [00:55:37] I’m kind of surprised. No, one’s asked you to get on stage to share this yet. Have you considered doing that? 

[00:55:45] Tom Simmons: [00:55:45] I haven’t yet, actually I haven’t, I’ve had, I’ve had a kind of a loose request, but  

[00:55:50] Mike: [00:55:50] stuff like what you’re doing is, is it’s inspiration to other people, obviously, by the way guys,  that the links will be down below for, to, to follow, Tom, we’ll we’ll have his social and you have a website too.

[00:56:05] Tom Simmons: [00:56:05] You do a website. 

[00:56:07] Mike: [00:56:07] Oh, I like, I like the.com fella’s with feelings. This is cool. And on that website, you’re sharing tips, tricks, insights, or are you sharing more of them? Okay. And, and obviously the, the, like the Wim Hof method and things of that. Do you, is it a blog or is it just a site or what it, what is it?

[00:56:26] Tom Simmons: [00:56:26] Yeah, well, the blog is on Instagram and then the website is just like, I’m going to think it updates it actually, but the website’s going to become a lot more. resource rich with all that good stuff. 

[00:56:37] Mike: [00:56:37] Awesome. Good stuff. Good stuff. And then you just, most of it has to deal with, dealing with anxiety, dealing with depression, men’s health and all of that kind of stuff.

[00:56:47]Okay, cool. Go back to the speaking. You may want to consider something about that because your kind of story is the kind of story that would get people to, to shut up and listen. I don’t know why it takes a trauma as heavy as that to get people to listen, because honestly half of this stuff should be common sense, but it isn’t, but that might be a great platform for you to start thinking about jumping on.

[00:57:14] and I got a couple of people I can introduce you to for that. Definitely. You also have a podcast, correct? 

[00:57:20] Tom Simmons: [00:57:20] I don’t I actually want one.

[00:57:25] Mike: [00:57:25]  You want one? Okay. It’s called it called it’s called anchor.fm. Start today. It’s free. 

[00:57:29] Tom Simmons: [00:57:29] Thank you. Yes, I’ve come a call. Thank you. 

[00:57:31] Mike: [00:57:31] Yep. that’s. That’s actually where we host our podcast recordings.

[00:57:36] Tom Simmons: [00:57:36] Well, and what microphone, what tools do I need then? 

[00:57:39] Mike: [00:57:39] You  got it senior year. Cause you can literally record it on your phones. Yeah, you can record your podcast on your phone. Anchor has an app. Both web based and phone based. What I do here is I’m recording on zoom. And then we just take this edited a little bit, put it up to you 

[00:57:55] to separate the audio and put it onto anchor. And you can just upload it there. And dude, if you want help, I’m happy to show you. It’s not all, it’s actually a lot easier than, than it used to be. but great place to begin, man. Cause your, your journey is definitely valid. It needs to be heard. Finding guests is not hard to, how I know how I found you. So it won’t be hard for you to find others. 

[00:58:17] Can we have you back? I mean, I still think there’s more for us to talk about.  There is a risk when it comes to being vulnerable and getting cause. 

[00:58:31] Tom Simmons: [00:58:31]  Again, we have, I think vulnerability is that I think we could do a whole, whole podcast on that. 

[00:58:35] Mike: [00:58:35] I agree. I agree. And I’d like to go explore that because I think a lot of, a lot of our listeners, both business and non-business because we have some casual listeners too.

[00:58:48] I think they need to understand what that means. I think there’s a slightly negative connotation around being vulnerable that people worry about. And it’s, it’s. It’s all  the vulnerability thing needs to happen. And I agree with you with that needs to be, I think there needs to be a cultural shift, not just a systemic one.

[00:59:07] I really agree with that. 

[00:59:08] Tom Simmons: [00:59:08] Cool. Well, and I think, yeah, yeah, no, you’re  

[00:59:11] Mike: [00:59:11] I definitely agree with all that.  We’ll we’ll we’ll get it. We’ll get it on the calendar again for sure. Guys, if you want to know where to find Tom. Just look down below in the comments. We have all of his links down there for you.

[00:59:21] A little bit of a, of, of his, his bio as well go follow the man on Instagram, go watch his story. Go watch his, watch his journey. I mean, you gotta have tons of content in there by now. I mean, when did you start the Instagram account? 

[00:59:33] Tom Simmons: [00:59:33] this last year, this time, last year, this time. Last year. 

[00:59:35] Mike: [00:59:35][00:59:36] There’s plenty of, there’s plenty of content. There’s plenty of content. I’m sure there’s a lot more to come to. You’re holding, 26. 

[00:59:44] Oh shit. You’re young, younger. You’re so young now, not only am I envious, I’m also jealous at this point, but that’s okay.

[00:59:56] Go follow the man. You won’t, you won’t be disappointed. I mean, if, if this podcast hasn’t given you probably an inkling of the rest of the content that you’re going to be getting, following his story. and it’s definitely worth it because not to compare your life to his, you can pay your struggles to his, but to be able to look at it and say, look, here’s a human.

[01:00:18] That gets it gets himself, gets understood and understands what it means to people. Life. I need to take a few cues from no matter what too short, my friend too short. for those of you that are watching on YouTube, we always sign up the same way Tom did. This is, this is like the signature sign off.

[01:00:38] Y’all know how we, we sign off. We love every single one of you. If you’re watching it YouTube, make sure you hit the subscribe button and the bell. And they’ll tell you when the new enlist episode comes up. If you happen to be listening on one of your favorite pods cast platforms, make sure you subscribe or download lists.

[01:00:53] It’s always a good if you’re listening to us on anchor.fm. And you want to support our little podcast, feel free to make a donation. We’re always happy to, to, to get that support. And we try to support you with killer people. Yes. People that have experienced information, people that have insights to how you can do better as an entrepreneur or business professional, a human in this case, a human, but we always say that, stay up, stay safe, stay healthy and live.

[01:01:26] For Tom Simmons, I’m coffee with Mike ciao for now. 

[01:01:32] Tom Simmons: [01:01:32] Bye. Thanks guys. 

For more information on Java chat, visit www.java chat, podcast.com. You’ve been listening to coffee with Mike on Java chat tune in weekly to this podcast. For the next episode, you can also download or subscribe today on your favorite podcast platform.  A production of  Oasis media group, LLC. Located in Las Vegas Nevada, copyright 2019, all rights reserved.

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