Intro: [00:00:00] Who wants coffee? Who wants a pot of coffee? I just make coffee. You want a cup of coffee? Sure, here you go! Who wants coffee? Anybody else want coffee? And now it’s time for the man with the caffeine, the new tropics for the brain. It’s @CoffeeWithMike, hang in, hang tight, grab your cup and let’s get this thing started.
[00:00:28] Mike: [00:00:28] Welcome back to Java Chat everybody. You got Coffee With Mike here, and I have the distinct pleasure of interviewing another brilliant mind. I don’t bring them all on here, but I intend to. One in particular caught my attention. His name is Ari Gunzburg. I said that, correct? Right?
[00:00:45] Ari Gunzburg: [00:00:45] Yes, you did.
[00:00:47] Mike: [00:00:47] Ari’s got a little cool thing called The Little Book of Greatness, by the way. I have to go get that book. I’ve only had a short time to study who you are and already your story just kind of floors me, dude. You figured out the five elements to greatness. Holy shit. If people around the world understood what that meant.,I don’t think we’d be having the troubles we’re having in the world right now.
[00:01:12]Ari Gunzburg: [00:01:12] I think that’s a true statement. Five keys. They’re short, simple, sweet, but, you know, they’re designed to last a while.
[00:01:21] Mike: [00:01:21] People make things so damn complicated though. I mean, what the hell. We’re humans, right? I had a conversation once with somebody about human tendencies and she immediately goes, Yeah, what are human tendencies? I said, Complicating fucking everything.
[00:01:35] Ari Gunzburg: [00:01:35] Or being dumb, sorry, sorry. Sorry. I don’t know.
[00:01:39] Mike: [00:01:39] That’s a very true statement.
[00:01:42] Ari Gunzburg: [00:01:42] So, I just want to clarify that individuals are very smart. When you take big groups, oh my gosh, they’re so, so…sorry.
[00:01:52] Mike: [00:01:52] Are we going to just, you want to run the rest of that script from MIB? Or how do you want to do that?
[00:01:57] Ari Gunzburg: [00:01:57] Oh man.
[00:02:01] Mike: [00:02:01] Tommy Lee Jones called it right down the line on that script. That was so funny. I was looking at that gun. Oh my gosh. They’re bringing in life coaching. That’s a great movie. I would watch it again. Anyway.
[00:02:15] Ari Gunzburg: [00:02:15] They did really well.
[00:02:16] Mike: [00:02:16] I think they did amazing. Give us a little bit of background brother about. Where are you from the glory days of how you destroyed the evil dragon and who you are now?
[00:02:28] Ari Gunzburg: [00:02:28] All right. So to start with, I don’t think there’s any such thing as destroying the evil dragon, right?
[00:02:34] Mike: [00:02:34] Oh, you’re going to kill me, dude. All right. Fine.
[00:02:40] Ari Gunzburg: [00:02:40] Here’s what I’m saying. You know, we have these things that we went through, and we can’t get rid of them. So if we try to get rid of them, we’re, we’re barking up the wrong tree. It’s never going to work. It’s coming to terms with them. It’s accepting them. It’s addressing them, but it’s killing it. I like dragons, so I don’t want to get reminded.
[00:03:01] Mike: [00:03:01] Honestly, I haven’t gotten rid of mine either. He’s a cute little puppy these days.
[00:03:06] Ari Gunzburg: [00:03:06] I actually found, you know, I got a new car, like three, four years ago, whatever, not new, but you know, new for me. And I was like, I really want to put something by the mirror and stuff. So I went and I found some artists in China or something who took little bits of, what do you call them? The geodes, right. Like the really cool rocks. So they slice them into like little chunks, they polish it and then they paint like a dragon on it.
[00:03:26] Mike: [00:03:26] Oh, that’s so cool.
[00:03:27] Ari Gunzburg: [00:03:27] So I got it and I hung it from my mirror. It’s really cool. People are like, Oh, what’s this? That’s my dragon. It’s my muse. I would have found a flying stuffed dragon or something. I couldn’t find them. It was really hard, like whatever, but.
[00:03:40]Mike: [00:03:40] It just kind of throws me that there’s not a lot of that around, and those are the symbols and at least in Chinese, those are supposed to be the symbols of wisdom.
[00:03:48] Ari Gunzburg: [00:03:48] Yeah. Yeah. Because they do tame their dragon. But so, so I mean-
[00:03:56] Mike: [00:03:56] There’s so many wrong ways we can go with that. Anyway.
[00:03:58] Ari Gunzburg: [00:03:58] Yeah, no, I was about to go down a rabbit hole.
[00:04:02] Mike: [00:04:02] I got your tail. Come on. We’re out. We’re out of that one. We’re not running down that hole today.
[00:04:07]Ari Gunzburg: [00:04:07] I don’t remember what the question was, but like, so getting a hold of your dragon, it’s all about coming to terms, I guess, with what it is and it’ll happen in stages throughout your life. So don’t think like, Okay, I’m going to crank through this in two weeks. So we’re going to be done. You know, I’m still dealing with stuff that I dealt with that initially happened to be 25 years ago.
[00:04:27] Am I dealing with it all the time? Is my entire life ruined because of it? You know, no, but I mean, you know, I had a revelation about those events only a year or two ago when I was doing a lot of hiking. I was like, Oh wait, why haven’t I been hiking? Maybe it’s because I had a traumatic experience happen to me when I was hiking. And so I’ve kind of been hiding from this particular favorite pastime of mine for a long time.
[00:04:48] Mike: [00:04:48] All right. There’s the rabbit hole. What happened?
[00:04:51]Ari Gunzburg: [00:04:51] Okay. So when I was 10 years old, we went on a field trip with our teacher. So this is back in the 90s. People weren’t worried like all of a sudden, like 18 chaperones with five kids. It was just our teacher with us.
[00:05:08] We went in the van. We went to like a nice big field. I don’t remember if we had a barbecue or if we were going to have a barbecue after the hike. It’s like, let’s go hiking because he loves to go hiking. He loved nature. Like, God, he wants to show it to us. And so we’re having like a good deal.
[00:05:24] Mike: [00:05:24] Sounds like a good dude.
[00:05:26] Ari Gunzburg: [00:05:26] Yeah, he was. He had a bunch of kids and he was a great dad to all of them.
[00:05:29] Mike: [00:05:29] That’s awesome.
[00:05:30] Ari Gunzburg: [00:05:30] You know, just to give you one quick story about the type of person that he was. So before he ended up teaching our fourth grade class, he was teaching the eighth grade class. Eighth grade or so for a lot of people, they finish eighth grade, they go to high school, then that’s it. In our circles, people basically are going to whichever high school makes the most sense for them. And that they’ll do the best in. And a lot of times that means a boarding school. So he was like one of the people who knew all of the available high schools and would recommend, okay, this is the best school for how your temperament is, He would always make these recommendations. So people would call him up and say, where should I send my son?
[00:06:07] Mike: [00:06:07] Wow.
[00:06:08] Ari Gunzburg: [00:06:08] Right. I mean, right out of the blue light. He’d be like, well, I don’t know your kids, so I can’t make a recommendation and they’d be like, Oh, okay. And like, ready to hang up the phone. He’s like, But I’ll tell you what. Why don’t we, we’ll get together for a couple of weeks? We’ll study together three, four, five times. I’ll get to know your kid a little bit, and then I can make a recommendation.
[00:06:27] Mike: [00:06:27] Wow. He would do that.
[00:06:29] Ari Gunzburg: [00:06:29] Right. And I’m saying like, just giving, giving, and giving and giving and just honoring.
[00:06:35] Mike: [00:06:35] This guy sounds like a little close to the definition of perfect.
[00:06:39] Ari Gunzburg: [00:06:39] I wouldn’t say that. We’re human. So by definition, we’re not perfect.
[00:06:43] Mike: [00:06:43] Well, no, we never are, but certainly we all know, we know that we know the backgrounds of how the near perfect, so are usually called away.
[00:06:52] Ari Gunzburg: [00:06:52] He was only 50 when he went, so-
[00:06:54] Mike: [00:06:54] Yeah, very young, and he figured something out correctly. I mean, obviously. I mean, for anybody to be that giving. I mean, I don’t know a lot of people like that.
[00:07:03] Ari Gunzburg: [00:07:03] And remember that’s like one story. I have a book, I have a book like this thick that was written like three days after he passed away before an event. So we’re out within the middle of the woods. And like, we’re, you know, so again, 90s. People are much less strict and less likely to flip out about stuff. We were like spreading out on the trail and a bunch of us were like up ahead playing the stream.
[00:07:29] And, so some kids finally emerged from the woods, like back behind us 100 or 200 feet, whatever. And they were like, guys, guys, guys, you gotta come. He’s hurt. Rebbie, that’s what we called him. Rebbie, it means like my teacher, and we’re like, What are you talking about? He’s okay. He’s joking. You’re joking. We just ignore them. Went back to the water. Cause you know, we’re 10 years old, right? There’s no way, like, what are you talking about? After it took a little bit, but we figured out like, something’s really going on over here.
[00:07:54] And so we went back with them and immediately I could look around and see like, there’s something wrong here. Like he was out laid out on the leaves and stuff, not responding. And so, I mean, it was, there’s nobody out there. It’s just us, what the hell do you do? So two different groups ended up going for help. And, so we found our way out of the forest because of the guy who was playing the bagpipe on the edge of the forest. I mean, totally random, you know, playing the bagpipes, wearing a kilt. Why are you here? But I, you know, I don’t really know.
[00:08:38] Mike: [00:08:38] This isn’t Scotland.
[00:08:41] Ari Gunzburg: [00:08:41] I’m practicing. Like I’m on the Highlands of Scotland, dude. You’re in Baltimore at a park.
[00:08:48] Mike: [00:08:48] This isn’t Scotland, right?
[00:08:50] Ari Gunzburg: [00:08:50] Oh yeah. I did the wrong accent. Yeah. Good point.
[00:08:55] Mike: [00:08:55] Get your ass in here. We need to talk.
[00:09:01] Ari Gunzburg: [00:09:01] Maybe it was literally just to be able to bring us out of there, but either way we found a way out of the woods. We told some guys that came back with us. One started doing CPR, which I learned much, much later than that when you have the certification that this guy had, that I now have, sort of a wilderness first responder, if you start giving CPR to somebody, you are locked in for 30 minutes, at least 30 minutes, or until you are so exhausted that you cannot move. And he started immediately doing CPR. And so he must’ve had a hell of a night that night because there wasn’t a response, you know, I can already tell you that.
[00:09:41] But, yeah, much later I found out much later that day, like the whole situation was that, you know. They took us home and like, my dad ended up calling into the school and finding out what happened. And, it was like a surreal moment. It was like stuck in my memory forever at this point, you know. Like my dad’s on the phone with the principal, and asked him, What’s going on? What happened? My son came home early. What’s happened? And like his whole face just dropped and fell. And he hangs up the phone, looks up to me. He’s like, he’s gone. And it was just slammed into me and, you know, and then like, it was just like a whirlwind of events after that.
[00:10:20] And then the school did a little bit of an effort at giving us counseling, I guess you could say, but it was kind of like group counseling a little bit. I don’t know. It was interesting.
[00:10:36] Mike: [00:10:36] Yeah, no doubt. [Sound of a plane flying by.] So I live near an executive airport.
[00:10:44] Ari Gunzburg: [00:10:44] That was an 8,500 right now.
[00:10:45]Mike: [00:10:45] That was, that was a plane. I live near an executive airport. That was a plane. And it’s like, he’s either burning it in or he’s burning it out. One of those two. Damn, that was interesting.
[00:10:57] Ari Gunzburg: [00:10:57] My mom lives underneath the JFK.
[00:10:59] Mike: [00:10:59] So, you know all about it.
[00:11:02] Ari Gunzburg: [00:11:02] Yeah. You go up there and like, you know, you’re in the middle of talking to somebody who’s from there and like a giant 7/47. It’s like Bernie. What did he say? But he’s from there. So he’s just like powering through.
[00:11:15] Mike: [00:11:15] I’ve actually had it there. I think there’s one or two where I’ve literally had to go and the guests were like is everything okay? I’m like, yeah, I can’t hear you, dude. I gotta, I got, I got either a charger running down with no exhaust or one of that. What just happened? Anyway, back to what we were talking about you, so you got these 10 year olds and 11 year olds, potentially 17. That went through that, went through this whole thing together. Absolutely helpless, obviously, because none of you knew what to do. It’s the 90s, like you said.
[00:11:51] Ari Gunzburg: [00:11:51] Keep in mind, by the way, even if you have kids nowadays that know what to do. Let’s just say you have a kid. I’m not even getting into the traumatic thing. I’m saying, like you’re 10 years old. I was saying, so maybe a kid now will have a cell phone and call 911, but still like. Okay, come get us.
[00:12:08] Where are you? You know, like we have to bring the guys back to where this whole thing happened. And then also like, even if you’re 10, even if you know CPR. It’s really hard to do CPR that size to a full grown person. And then, we found out later they basically said that like, he was probably gone before he hit the floor.
[00:12:28] So yeah. Even if we had known everything to do. And even if we had had cell phones and even if we knew to do CPR, and even if we, you know, like it was maybe if we had a defibrillator with us, then maybe we could have done something.
[00:12:43] Mike: [00:12:43] And at that time that technology was still fairly new, so yeah.
[00:12:46] Ari Gunzburg: [00:12:46] Or non-existent, I’m not sure, like there wasn’t really anything to do. I mean, I happen to be religious, coming from that type of perspective of it. From that perspective, God says, it’s time to go. Like, you know, you can sit there and be like, but I have to do this or that. It’s like, see ya.
[00:13:08] Mike: [00:13:08] As it’s said in jest, the old joke goes on a plane and the plane rock. And then all of a sudden, well, if the plane goes down, I’m okay. It’s my time. And everybody else on the plane goes. But what if it’s not ours? Well, I hate to say it, but guess what? We all got on the plate at the right time, according to him.
[00:13:30] I experienced the same thing. I can share that another time, but. I was the one that had to do CPR, but I experienced what that means that usually when it’s at that point, the amount of survivability is very small because most times it’s too late.
[00:13:51] Ari Gunzburg: [00:13:51] They say there’s like all these charts, you know, if you start CPR within five minutes, then it’s like a higher survivability. If you start within 10 minutes, it’s much lower. I mean, it’s just, most of that, get the passes I can count.
[00:14:04] Mike: [00:14:04] But most of the ones that are started. Are you usually past the five minute mark? Because nobody’s really figured out what’s going on until it’s that point. And it’s good that they still do it. You should still do it because you never know. TThere’s that other percentage, you know, maybe they’re that percentage. But the amount of trauma that that gives to kids, especially knowing that you can’t do anything because you just can’t, you don’t have the weight, you don’t have the strength. You don’t have the experience to really know what to do anyway.
[00:14:30] And now you have to, you have to go back to school and still keep going and still keep learning and still keep evolving. I mean, how do you do that? I mean, you’re in a position now where you’re looking at being somebody that came from that event and I’m sure there were more since.
[00:14:55]Ari Gunzburg: [00:14:55] I tell people that was the catalyst for a rocky set of teenage years. The way that I put it in a lot of my profiles is that, and I use quote marks because I’m just joking. I’m not like seriously trying to say that I have a PhD, but, you know, I use quote marks it, but I say that I have a “PhD” from the school of hard knocks or from the school of doing stupid things.
[00:15:14] Mike: [00:15:14] I know this school. I know that school. I have been there.
[00:15:16] Ari Gunzburg: [00:15:16] There are a lot of people who know these schools.
[00:15:18]Mike: [00:15:18] I participated in the Hawaiian version. Trust me.
[00:15:20] Ari Gunzburg: [00:15:20] Yeah. I mean, you know, run-ins with the law and, you know, different drug use and just partying. I hate to say the wrong people cause like, I still know those people. I still love them, but let’s say a bunch of people that were also doing the wrong things. And you know, it’s just.
[00:15:38]Mike: [00:15:38] I think just for us, I mean, I’m not as young as I used to be, but when I was, I noticed that there were a lot of bad decisions made. I think a lot of that, a portion of it had to do with just, you know, wanting to be the rebel without a cause and go do whatever the heck I wanted to. I think the other part of it was just not having any direction. That was me. Did you find that kind of similar to what you were at that point?
[00:16:04]Ari Gunzburg: [00:16:04] Yeah, I mean, there was an element of wanting to be a rebel. Well, I’m going to talk a little bit about something that I know that happens within my own community. It happens within other communities, as well. Well there’s this new phenomenon that like, when somebody is doing the wrong thing, just pat them on the back. There’s like a lot of thoughts over here. So give me a few, but I’m not saying like, you know, don’t love kids, we’re going through a hard time, right. But sometimes it requires tough love and we’ve gotten to a point where your tough love doesn’t exist. I’ll give you an example. You know, my cousin, he was going through a hard time also. And so I think he boosted his mom’s car. And so we’re taking like a joy ride with his mom’s car late at night. There was a whole family discussion between my mom’s sisters and my granddad, and he was a hard ass, you know what I mean?
[00:16:57] If you’ve ever watched That 70s Show, but Forman, he L he even looked a little bit like red, like times like 10. There’s one time when my cousin was like five or six years old or something eight years old. He’s sitting right there and my granddad’s like, yeah, you gotta stop smoking all that pot. I’m like, My cousin was right there, man. He’s like a Boston personality. Like he just doesn’t care. He’s like, just, I’m gonna say it as it is. And you better deal with it. You know, it was like a tough love thing and it wasn’t coming from like an asshole.
[00:17:32] Mike: [00:17:32] No, no, no, no, no. So we get those; you’re right. This happens in every community. They all have them. It’s that one person that completely is like, yeah, I don’t care about what you think of what I’m saying. It needs to be heard.
[00:17:46] Ari Gunzburg: [00:17:46] And so eventually, l the family decision was that like, he should just call the cops, throw him in jail. And so, I think they did that. And I think he kind of sat in jail for like two or three days. I’m not going to say that that’s a recommended thing to do that may have gone overboard and he may have gotten in trouble a few more times after that, but I will tell you that, like nowadays, I mean, he’s a great guy. I mean, like, you know, he’s got a daughter who’s like, you know, raising a single dad, like taking care of her, and like I’ve gone through stuff like that.
[00:18:19] Also, it didn’t necessarily come from my parents. I mean, I will tell you that there were a couple of times here or there where I needed bail. And I would not call my parents because I didn’t think they would post it. I call my boss or whatever, and he, you know, the, the, the one time like that, I remember that there was, you know, I call my boss and he called my brother and he said, listen, you go do everything that needs to be done, call it, you know, kind of touch the bail bonds, but you know, did all this stuff, everything, my boss paid him back. And then I took care of the money with my boss, but I’m saying. You know, do you ever have that TV show scared straight?
[00:18:58] Mike: [00:18:58] That’s a different kind of tough love. It’s a program that’s been in existence for a long time and it has helped a lot of kids and it’s not helped a lot of kids.
[00:19:08] Ari Gunzburg: [00:19:08] Yeah. Every kid needs something. That’s what it comes to. But what I’m saying is like it’s like sitting there. I have a point to all this and I’m sorry that I’m just jumping to get there. The point is, it’s like my cousin, who had this difficult thing that happened to him because he ended up like this.
[00:19:26] You know, not serving hard time, but like he ended up inside for a few days because of this. And, there were a couple of times when I was inside for a few days and like, and it did for me. And it seems like it did for him. It scares the jeepers out of you, you know? And, that’s actually a really good thing for kids who are getting in trouble, cause it kind of sits there and says, okay, don’t do that.
[00:19:49] But the point of it is that like, when there was a degree of like, Implied reward that I saw for becoming like a badass. You know, cause I see all these kids who are going through this stuff, these kids who are two or three years older than I, than I am, that I’m a little bit friends with.
[00:20:03] And everybody’s like, Oh, you’re having a hard time. You’re like off the beaten path. You’re like dropping out of school. And like, you’ve got all this stuff going on where we’re going to take you paintball and we’re going to do this other really cool thing with you. We’re going to take you out of your parents’ house and put you into a house of your own where you can like watch TV most of the day. And, if you like arcade games and pool tables and you can do whatever you want. And then like they get in touch with, they go to the guy who’s in charge of the program.
[00:20:27] And they’re like, rabbi, you know, I’m still trying to figure out the balance for this and everything else. And, you know, I’ve done work with youth and whatnot. But I don’t know that capitulating to every request is the right way to go because what it ends up doing is it ends up saying like, you can just do whatever you want and we’re going to give you a reward. And so then if they’re getting all that for doing that, if I act out, then I’m going to get all that.
[00:21:05] And then they start acting out and then they start getting rewarded for acting out. So it’s like, Duh. I mean, definitely you need to show these kids a lot of love and you need to sit there and be like, you know, how can I help you and whatever. I was working with a youth program. And so I took them hiking one time. I was sitting there with this one kid, I don’t know if he was testing me or if he was just being a jackass or whatever, but like we’re sitting there, we’re like on this cliff or something. And he takes a bottle of water. He’s been drinking.
[00:21:30] He looks at me straight in the face and just chucks it off the cliff. And I laid it to him. I’m like, Dude, you can’t do that. And he’s like, what do you mean? What the hell you, you know, like whatever. And I’m like, can’t do that. And, and like, I went into this whole thing, like, you know, you’re hiking, you’re in nature. You don’t, you don’t just throw a bottle of water down, you know, like you can’t, you can’t do that. We don’t want to leave a mark. I’m like, I don’t have to take you. I’ll take everybody else and I’ll leave your ass. So it’s interesting because, I mean, I didn’t make him cry or anything like that, but I’d like to know how it was.
[00:22:01] Mike: [00:22:01] I’ve had to do this two years previous where somebody might say something disrespectful to an elder or something like that. It’s a little tougher back in Hawaii. So it becomes one of those things where if they mouth off, it’s kinda like, I think you might want to reconsider what you’re saying because you’re not quite clear who you’re talking to and they will, they will take it by the way.
[00:22:27] Ari Gunzburg: [00:22:27] They will not, they will take it. The kids or the adults you’re saying.
[00:22:32]Mike: [00:22:32] Some of the adults will take it. So some of us younger adults will step in and go, that’s not proper. You are going to correct yourself. You’re going to apologize. And you’re going to tell them you love them. And the moment the younger one starts mouthing off, it’s like, okay, Let me explain something to you, that’s not okay
[00:22:47] Ari Gunzburg: [00:22:47] Not acceptable, not acceptable.
[00:22:49] Mike: [00:22:49] And if you want to go any further, let me know. There’s a back door right out there so we can talk.
[00:22:55] Ari Gunzburg: [00:22:55] And have a long talk and have it.
[00:22:57] Mike: [00:22:57] It won’t be long. Trust me, but no, the idea there honestly is just, you know, there’s respect that should be had as a default.
[00:23:07] Ari Gunzburg: [00:23:07] We’re a deep step away from that. It’s really odd to me, general.
[00:23:11] Mike: [00:23:11] Yeah. I know people who I love and respect for their expertise and stuff, and their attitude is, well, you have to earn my respect. And it’s like, if I don’t know, you and I’m your elder. You will respect me if you want my respect. I have nothing to earn from you the old way is you respect your elders. Well, I don’t have to respect my elders because my elders didn’t respect me. I’m like, well, then you are wrong. That’s just not how it works. No.
[00:23:41] Ari Gunzburg: [00:23:41] So, there’s two things. First of all, a happy ending. That story with the kid out in the woods when we got to the end of the trail, right. He comes over to me and he’s like, By the way, look what I did. And, I think he’d collected three bottles, not the one that he dropped. And he’s like, I found garbage in the woods to make up for what I did. All right. Perfect. That’s it.
[00:24:02] Mike: [00:24:02] And that is the kind of stuff that should happen.
[00:24:06] Ari Gunzburg: [00:24:06] Right. And so like the leader of the program, he’s like, you know, cause that was like my trial day, you know, like before they sat there and brought me on to this, everybody’s like you got this. He’s like, you just had instant rapport with the kids and, you know, everything was working out and like when he tested you, you called them out on it immediately. And you’re like, no way that’s not going to be okay. And like, you know, so, anyways, that’s one thing. The other thing is, we actually have a concept in Judaism.
[00:24:32] I think the age is 70. It’s like if somebody hits the age of 70. Not everybody does. A lot of people die. 68 and 65 and 60, whatever somebody hits the age of 70, they’ve done something right. Or they’ve done something to be respected for. I mean, there’s a lot of different ways to look at it, but like they’ve made it a certain distance.
[00:24:53] And therefore just by virtue of the fact that they’re 70, they to be respected and stuff, I know in the world we live in, we don’t necessarily show them the same level of respect in what, like what we’re supposed to do. You know, technically again, but people don’t do it in general. Like as a whole, in which case it’s not really required, whatever, it’s a complicated thing, but, basically you’re supposed to stand up, you know, when they walk into the room, it’s supposed to be like a 75 year old guy walked in the room, time to stand up, you know?
[00:25:18] Well, he’s not learning, man. He’s not like, you know, justice or anything. And it’s like, no, he’s an elderly, he’s elderly in the sense that he made it past that age. And by virtue of the fact that he’s that old. And he’s lived through all the life experiences that he’s lived with through it. It’s like getting to 70. I mean, you show respect and certainly for like an 80 or a nine year old.
[00:25:38] Mike: [00:25:38] A lot of the communities are like that too. If you make certain belts and your belt below you show them respect, they’ve gone through the testing, they’ve gone through the tournaments or whatever they’ve been through. They know a little bit more, they can actually help you to get to that next level. So you show them respect. If you don’t, they’re not going to want to help you, you know, and it goes back to the master and then the grand master, the grand master is a real trip. I know a few of them. and it’s, it’s interesting. I used to know one that is no longer with us. He used to walk into the room before he walked into the room. If you understand that concept.
[00:26:15]Ari Gunzburg: [00:26:15] I’ve been in most martial arts circles many years ago, but I’m not sure what you mean by that.
[00:26:20] Mike: [00:26:20] His energy would walk in before he did.
[00:26:22] Ari Gunzburg: [00:26:22] Oh, okay.
[00:26:23] Mike: [00:26:23] He would feel the room out before he ever walked in the room. So he would know who was in there. And it’s funny because the one time I visited one of his black belt classes, I was sitting off in the corner and everybody was practicing doing their thing, blah, blah, blah. And then all of a sudden I sat up and I went, what is that? And then it comes walking then comes walking the gym. And I looked up and I’m like, ah, it’s him. And the first thing he does, he walks into you, looks straight at me and I say, How are you? He goes, What are you doing over here? Are you helping out with the class? No, I’m not helping, just watching. You can help with the class.
[00:27:02] I’m like, No, I can’t. I’m not ranked in this class. It’s not going to happen. Forget it. And he’s like, Oh, maybe you should. I’m like, Nope. Not going to happen. But it was a recognition thing. That means he is sifu, no matter what, or sigong, if you will. That was his place and his black belts were still to me. I respect them too, because by rank, they were above me, even with all the stuff that I’ve learned. So I still give them respect as well. It’s when that happens. And humility is in place. And I think this is in any belief system when humility is in place before pride or ego, a lot more gets done in a lot shorter time because people are more willing to help. And I think that’s a mindset thing.
[00:27:51] Ari Gunzburg: [00:27:51] I mean, going back to the same thing, I mean, I’m just bringing up a lot of stuff, but whenever it fits, I’m saying, you know, so, I don’t remember where the concept comes from and I probably should be quoting who it comes from, but I don’t remember who at this time we’ll find it, but there’s an idea about respect that maybe it’s the respect is unique and stuff, but the more you run after respect, the more respect runs away from you. And the more you run away from respect that the more it chases you. So it’s literally a humility thing, right? If you remain humble and you are giving respect to other people and you’re like, no, no, no, no. I don’t want the respect that you are trying to shower upon me.
[00:28:31] The more that it actually comes to you and it’s well earned. And the more that you’re like, Oh, please give me more respect. Come on, please respect me more and more and more and more, more and more people. No, thanks. No interest. It’s hard to do that because like, that’s how I try to live my life. But, you know, being a speaker, there’s a certain level of like, It’s hard. I mean, like, I don’t want to be haughty or anything like that, or like talk myself up. But if I don’t do that because the market is a little bit saturated and stuff, if I don’t do that, nobody’s going to hear about me. So I am constantly trying to strike this balance of like, no, no, no, I shut all respect.
[00:29:07] I can do that because you know, people, I can sit there and just, you know, just be in the background and not like, you know, do things, but not do things in a way that like, People feel like they need to like give me recognition. But like in the speaking world, sometimes I’m like, I don’t want to do this in my head, but meanwhile, I’m like, Oh yeah. Like, look at me.
[00:29:30] Mike: [00:29:30] So, there’s two schools of thought on that one. And, I totally get where you’re coming from, with regards to self promotion in the needs of marketing versus versus self humility, which can be balanced. There’s an absolute balance that can be stricken even with the saturation that’s in the marketplace, half of half of that while you’re a marketer. So, you know, I’m going to go with this here in a second. One of the things about self promotion with humility is the ability to portray your message without sounding like you’re throwing your message or pushing your message on somebody you’ve. Already living by example, you’ve written a book, which is a great place to showcase what it is that you’ve been through.
[00:30:14] And you’re consistently out sharing when you position yourself as someone who just wants to share, which is what you’ve been doing anyway, who just wants to share to inspire others. You’re no longer asking for respect. You’re commanding respect. There’s a difference when you walk into a room.
[00:30:31] Ari Gunzburg: [00:30:31] From your mouth to God’s ears.
[00:30:35] Mike: [00:30:35] When you walk into a room, there’s a difference between demanding and commanding and this has to do with how you present yourself. When you first walk in. If you walk in with your chest puffed and your nose in the air. You’re demanding respect. When you walk in with your nose level and your body, it’s still even what they call status. You know, when your back’s not over curved, it’s not arched. It’s just normal, but your shoulders are back. You are commanding respect because at that point, people are going to turn and go, okay, he’s not a stuck up shit head because he’s nosing in the air, but he ain’t looking at the ground either. Who is he? You’ve taken notice of that point.
[00:31:15] You already got some respect. And I hear this all the time. When I walk into a room, I ask people, what did you see when I walked in? And they said, we saw somebody who was confident, not an asshole, not, not, not, you know, full of himself. I said, and, and since we’ve been talking how they presented themselves, have I presented myself as someone respectable and at least somewhat humble. They’re like, we don’t even know what the hell you do yet. You’ve been talking about us all this time and I’m like, perfect. So you get the point. It’s, there’s a difference between being self promoting because you have to market yourself. You’re absolutely right. When it comes to speaking, there’s a shit ton of people out there.
[00:31:52] If you don’t promote yourself, you ain’t getting hurt. And then being out there saying, well, I’m just, I’m the best, I’m this. And I know some speakers like this and I, I just, I still I’ve told them this already and they don’t listen. It’s like, all right, dude, do what you’re doing. You’re making six figures, eight figures, whatever. I don’t care.
[00:32:07]Ari Gunzburg: [00:32:07] Some people who look like they’re doing that stuff or who are, who, it seems like that’s how they’re doing it. I mean, they’re, they’re just, you know, blown up. Cause there are people who are attracted to that for some reason, and I don’t get it. but there are people who are attracted to that kind of thing.
[00:32:20] Mike: [00:32:20] They’re attracted to the ego because they, themselves, haven’t found that their own ego is what’s killing them. This is what I’ve seen.
[00:32:29] Ari Gunzburg: [00:32:29] You should write that down and put it on your website because that’s a good quote right there.
[00:32:35] Mike: [00:32:35] Oh, well, I’ll have to come back and listen to it and write it down. Guys, we gotta take a short pause. We’ve been going and I warned Ari about this. We run down rabbit holes, we’ll be talking long. We’re going to take a short 30 second break. We’ll be right back where we’re gonna talk a little bit more about what inspires him and what’s changed and how all of his transformations have happened. So give us 30, we’ll be right back.
[00:32:56] And we’re back at Java Chat here interviewing Ari Gunzburg. and we were just talking about a few things with regards to, speaking and how to stay away from ego when it comes to promoting and marketing and stuff like that. And entrepreneurs that are out there listening to this, please go listen to that first section again.
[00:33:13] Cause there’s a huge difference. This section, we talk about what inspires. You had a transformational point somewhere along that line, I’d like you to touch on that. When did the bells and whistles start going off for you and what inspired you to, you know, you wrote a book. You’re now a speaker, you go out and you help inspire people to do what? Where did all this come from and how did this all come to be?
[00:33:42] Ari Gunzburg: [00:33:42] You have, there’s a bunch of directions to go there. Cause I was, a bunch of different, aspects of that question. But the first thing is, it sounds like you’re looking more for the transformational moment where I started to go into like, okay, fine. First of all, I’ve had a lot of different transformational times in my life. You know, that’s really kind of what, like what life is, you know. We’re going through these different things and, you know, this happens, we have to kind of adjust and, you know, change what we do and how we are, and then something else happens.
[00:34:13] And so, you know, that’s kind of like what life is, is life is never ending and the people who say, but I just want to be comfortable. And I say it also, I’m not innocent of this, but the people who say, I just want to be comfortable. Right. I just want to stay with what I’ve got, you know, I’m in a good place right now. That’s not what life is. You know, life is about growth. And, if you’re comfortable, you’re not growing. So, and I’m preaching to the choir here cause I’m like trying to tell myself this right now as we’re speaking, but you know, we grow by learning. And we grow by putting ourselves into positions that are difficult for ourselves.
[00:34:45] And that’s how we grow. But so that transformational moment, a few years ago, when I was doing graphics and website design, and I had like a little publication that I was doing that was really not doing so well, but I kept on like trying to keep it alive, you know, entrepreneurial and I started
[00:34:58] Mike: [00:34:58] Oh the joys of entrepreneurship.
[00:35:09] Ari Gunzburg: [00:35:09] So I started working with a business coach, like, what the hell am I doing? And should I continue in this career? And the first thing we did is we got rid of that publication. You know? I mean, he’s like, if it’s doing wildly well, what’s the best possible number that it’s going to create for you? And I sat there and did the math and I said, yep, that’s over there.
[00:35:27] Cause I was like, wow, that was a clarifying question. Right? Cause if I sit there and I look at it and realize that the maximum ever made is 250k, maybe 500k, if it’s doing phenomenally well, right. Saying that’s not like a golden, like, you know, everybody wants to work on something because maybe it’ll be the unicorn. And we don’t necessarily need that billion dollar unicorn. For a lot of us, let’s say, if we can create a company that’s worth $10 million. We’re great. Yeah. But if the max number of what you’re working on is 500k, you better love what you’re doing. You got to be changing lives daily because that’s not a lot of money saying in the big scheme of things to be an entrepreneur to deal with all that stuff.
[00:36:04] So anyways, as we were talking and stuff, I don’t even remember exactly how speaking and coaching and like this type of stuff came up, but it did, it came up and like at the same time, we’re going to just jump a little bit into another part of the question at this point. At the same time, right around that same time somebody asked me to come and speak to a bunch of kids that were in the juvenile delinquency detention center, right. Incarcerated. Some of them possibly for life. And, you know, she was like, these kids don’t know anything about careers. All they know is that you can be a police officer.
[00:36:34] You can be a drug dealer, you can be a teacher or you can be a, you know, a parole, whatever I’m saying, like, all they know is what they’ve experienced. I want people to come in and tell them about other other careers. So, the first I said, no, I didn’t want to go inside. I just, you know, I was like, been there, done that. No thanks. I realized that I actually could connect with the guys and really connect with them and be like, look, I know what you’re going through at least a little bit. Cause like I’ve been there. So I ended up going in and speaking to them and like, it was crazy by the way. You know, I kind of made the decision to like flip over to this right around the same time. Then I go in and I do this and I’m like, yeah, this is kind of what I want to do. But the craziest thing was, the morning of this was almost four years ago, but I can tell because it happened like a few weeks before my third child, my daughter was born. And she’s turning forward a little bit.
[00:37:25] Mike: [00:37:25] Nice. So, how many kids do you have?
[00:37:29] Ari Gunzburg: [00:37:29] Four. Yeah, they’re amazing.
[00:37:32] Mike: [00:37:32] I thought I thought one was tough.
[00:37:36] Ari Gunzburg: [00:37:36] They’re amazing. A handful, but anyways, you know, I’m stressed out cause like, you know, there’s a birth imminent any day now. And, I sit there and I like, you know, write down my whole story. I’m like, Oh, I can help them. I’ll tell them my story. And then like I had this moment of like, I guess what they call it. I didn’t know what to call it at the time, but I guess what they call it is imposter syndrome.
[00:37:56] Mike: [00:37:56] Oh yeah. Oh yeah.
[00:37:58] Ari Gunzburg: [00:37:58] Why do I think that they could care less about my story? They didn’t want to hear about careers. Why do I think that they could care less about my story? And I’m about to sit there and just chuck it and I’m like, you know what, before I sit there and just say, I’m not going to do it. Why don’t I leave it up to them? You know, like I came prepared with a talk about marketing and design and stuff like that. And I came prepared with a story. So I said, look, you know, I walk in there and I’m like, listen guys, you know, like I’ve been where you’ve been. And I’d like to tell you my story, but only if you guys really want to hear. If you guys want to hear it, no problem, but go straight into the career aspect of it by a show of hands. Who wants to hear my story?
[00:38:36] And almost every hand in the audience went up and I’m like, all right, let’s do this. And, you know, so a number of hours later, cause like it was a give and take, you know, I told them my story for like 45 minutes or an hour. And then we did this whole marketing exercise for like 45 minutes or an hour. And, basically what we did is we created a product branding name, et cetera. Color scheme, et cetera, stuff like that. And so when I got home, I was like, so fired up from work with these kids and they did such a great job. Cause they, you know, they don’t have that confidence or anything. And like a guy sat there and was like, you know, the name, it was a laundry detergent called fresh. Right. And so this guy he’s almost joking. And I was like, you know, whatever. He’s like, if it ain’t fresh, it ain’t the best.
[00:39:26] Everybody starts laughing, almost pointing fingers at him. And I’m like, no, no, no. That was really good. Yeah, because it’s catchy. Yeah. It’s catchy, you know? And so whatever, but I went home and I did a graphic design project where I grabbed like a laundry detergent bottle and I designed it and I put a label on it and everything else. And I sent it to her, she printed it out and she brought her into the kit and they were like, you know, like these got mad scales.
[00:39:51] Mike: [00:39:51] I think a lot of people forget that human creativity is a lot more than people think. Especially if you just give them enough.
[00:39:59] Ari Gunzburg: [00:39:59] Yes, yes, yes. And they did a phenomenal job. I mean, they did, they did a really good job. And so, so I mean, but that kinda like pushed me into this thing and I’m like, wow. Like I can really help people. And, and that was also kind of like a transformational moment for me, because I started to realize that I had lived through a lot of stuff, a lot of crazy things.
[00:40:19] And I had been to a lot of dark places. And, you know, I’m not sure exactly why or how, but I felt like I needed to push it away and hide it. And like, I didn’t really want people to know about it. You know? Like you want to be a standup member of your community. And part of being a member of your community is not sitting there and being like, by the way, when I was 16, I was, you know, this is what happened. And when I was 17, this is what happened. I was 19. And it’s not like, you know, Oh, well that one time that I it’s, it’s like, well, you know, I’ve been like, you know, a few times. You know, it’s not really how you sit there and like, say like, you know, Oh, like, you know, I’m just a regular person in the community, but I realized I can help people.
[00:40:58] And, that there’s so much more value in that than my own. I’m not gonna say self-respect cause that’s not the word that I’m looking for, but my own self, not self image either. Cause I know what I did, but you know, then, then putting on this facade of like, you know, look at me, you know, just a regular Joe Schmoe. And so, you know, that’s when I kind of like, cause like some of this stuff, some of those stories that I’m putting out there, some of the videos that I put out there, some of the stuff like you can’t go back and erase it. Like I can’t sit there and get back in touch with like different podcasts hosts and say, no, you gotta take that down.
[00:41:27] When people have already heard it, like it’s, it’s out. Like once you start telling you stories, it’s out there, like you can’t pull it back. And so I had to make the decision that, like, I’m just not going to care about the fact that it’s going to be hard, somewhat hard to get a normal job ever again. There’s no coming back from it, but you know, if I can help one person and I hopefully I’ll have a lot more than that, but if I can help even one person, and there’s many different ways that I can help many different avenues. If I can help even one person, it all becomes worth it. And that’s the amazing thing. So then yeah. I think we needed to get over to like the book and everything.
[00:42:03] Mike: [00:42:03] Well, yeah. And that was where I was going to take this. As you had that transformation moment, you started realizing you can coach. So what inspired the book?
[00:42:11] Ari Gunzburg: [00:42:11] So I have this concept that I can’t tell you more about because it’s not fully fleshed out. I would say the idea is probably 70% of the way there and whatever. So I have this concept of like this, this program, this really, really easy really replicable program that is like set up to be grassroots. And like, I want to give it to the world and I want to, I want to do it because it’ll, it’ll help create happiness. It’ll help create self-worth self-confidence and like, You know, and, and I’m not trying to sit there, you know, there’s people out there who are like, Oh, I’m going to make you the most confident person in the world. Just pay me $3,000 a month. And you’re like, that’s great, but I’m going to stay over here.
[00:42:50] Mike: [00:42:50] Yeah, exactly.
[00:42:51]Ari Gunzburg: [00:42:51] Well, I’m not, you know what I would, I like to make some money off of it. Look, we all got to live. But, my purpose behind it is not to sit there and like try to charge people an arm and a leg. Like my purpose behind it is to literally give it to the world, create this grassroots movement and, you know, I’ll have a book about it. So I’ll sell some books and I’ll be able to speak about it. So I’ll be able to, you know, make some speaking fees and stuff. But the main goal of it is to really, to like sit there and create that change and create that help with people.
[00:43:17] So I have this whole concept and I’d like to have it, it’s been sitting on me for a couple of years and I actually told it to my brother at one point. And he’s like, I had the exact same idea or very, very similar. And he sat there and got into his own brain and was like, it’s not worth it. I can’t do it. But I didn’t, and I still believe in the idea and I still believe it’s going to be amazing. And there’s been a million things getting in my way, unfortunately. but you know, so, okay. So last summer I was like, okay, that’s it. I’m going to write the book. Okay. Before flushing out the concept, which apparently I really learned a few months ago. I could tell you about that. It was a bad idea, but I’m gonna write the book.
[00:43:50] And so I took a summer position so that my kids could have a fantastic summer. It was a lot. It was, it was potentially, we didn’t know. We didn’t think it was, but now we’re finding out that maybe it was, it was the last year, maybe that my mother-in-law was cooking at the camp that she cooked that for many, many years, it was still too early for my daughter to go because she wasn’t in the right age group unless we went.
[00:44:10] So we went and we took a job for the summer and she got to go and have her summer by my grandmother’s camp. And it was really cool. and I had this vision that like, you know, I was gonna have most of my day taken care of. So I wouldn’t think about anything except for, did you hear my daughter in the other room?
[00:44:25] So I had this vision that I would sit there and like the whole day would be focused on this, you know, work for the camp. And then like I grabbed like two hours in the morning, two hours at night and like work on the book. Didn’t happen. I didn’t realize how much of my time was going to be taken up with what I was doing plus family time, plus this time, plus this time going to get anything done. But what did happen was I was in a car for many, many hours a day. That’s what I was doing. I was driving around for them upstate. So it’s like, Oh, go run an errand to the corner store. 30 minutes there, 30 minutes back. Oh, go take the kids to the doctor at 45 minutes there, wait for 2 hours, 45 minutes. And you know, I drove like 8 or 9,000 miles throughout the summer.
[00:45:06] Mike: [00:45:06] Goodness. In that car. And, you know, that’s three months.
[00:45:11] Ari Gunzburg: [00:45:11] No, like two and a half months. But at least what I’m saying, like I’m a driver, like I’m fine with driving for hours and hours and hours. I get books, I listen to them and then, and then I turn on music and then like, I’ll sit there and think, and I had so much time to like process stuff and I just was like, thinking like this. The five keys kept on, basically just popping into my head and being like, you know, you have to like develop this concept more and more and more and more, and I’ll come up and be like, and it wasn’t five keys. I was just sitting there and saying like, what makes a great life? And I sat there and kept on coming up and like, you know, well, what about this? And, and, you know, I ended up with a decent sized let’s me. It was like 10 things or so, but then I started saying like, no, really like this particular thing, like patients let’s say right, you don’t need to sit there and call patients the key because patients really fit into persistence.
[00:45:54] In order to be persistent, you need to be patient. And, you know, so that’s just one example. If you have all these different things and I sat there and started saying, no, that’s really a subcategory of the larger one. And I ended up with five things and, And so then by the time I had those, I was like, you know, really? I should probably do this book first. Yeah. And, you know, so I, I started the book on a plane trip when I was going abroad back in January and, you know, things I keep on trying to get, you know, a duty of self promotion and doing this and doing that and family time and everything else. And one thing led to another and I just basically didn’t touch it again.
[00:46:26] And then the COVID hit and things got even crazier. And then come mid May. I’m like, that’s it, you know, we’re in the middle of COVID, there’s nothing to run. I’m going to get this book done. And so I sat there and started making time every single day. First thing in the morning, I’d wake up in the morning, make my coffee, sit down. And I’m like, I’m not doing anything else until I write. And like I guarded that time. So in order to make sure that it happened and, you know, so I sat there and, you know, it was okay, what’s going on in the book? How’s it going to work, et cetera, crank the whole thing out.
[00:46:55] And then, and then, once it was, I took me like mid May to like mid July, I guess, or beginning or mid July or something. And, I think I got it up to like 65 or 68,000 words at one point. But then, but then they say that there’s this whole concept in writing of like murder your darlings, right.
[00:47:13] Stephen King talks about it. And when he talks about it, he’s quoting somebody else. And I don’t remember who he originally quotes, but when you, after you write, you need to edit. Yeah, and edit really, really, really, aggressively. And I didn’t realize that in previous writing projects of mine and with this one, like I sat there, I sent it out to some people and I was waiting for them to tell me, you know, this is the next, one minute manager or whatever the next, whatever.
[00:47:35] And yeah. Crickets, you get a chance to read the book yet and like crickets, would they be like, Oh, not yet or whatever. And like one person got back to me and he’s like, yeah, I started reading it and like, you know, and he told me some things that were like, an issue with it. And I’m like, this is somebody who is sometimes a little bit of a negative voice.
[00:47:58] Sometimes to me it feels like that to me, although he tells me that he’s doing it from a realistic place, whatever. So, I couldn’t really fully hear what he had to say. And then I finally got something to kind of like respond to me a little bit and I’m like, It’s a little long, isn’t it? And he’s like, yeah, it just, it just meanders a lot. We gotta be really aggressive to take this thing down. So I brought it down to like 45,000 words. There you go. yeah. And, there were certain parts that like I did, you know, one of the pieces of feedback was like, you know, you’re telling me that this book is about the five keys to greatness in the first iteration. Like you were like 14, 13 or 14,000 words into the book before you had heard about the first one.
[00:48:36] Mike: [00:48:36] Yeah, it sounds good so far.
[00:48:37] Ari Gunzburg: [00:48:37] Yeah. So now it’s like 3 or 4,000 words, you know, like there are a few chapters, but you know, you’re getting to that, to those, to those keys are great, you know, fairly quickly, you know,
[00:48:45] Mike: [00:48:45] You need to create texts, you need context and then you need content, et cetera. I’ve got one book I have to re-release. It’s the same story I went through the same thing, brother.
[00:48:54] Ari Gunzburg: [00:48:54] Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I did a lot of extensive editing and stuff. And so now, Now, you know, I mean, the, the, the feedback that I’m getting from it is very, very positive. It’s written in a story format. So it’s not like the typical self-help book where you’re like, you know, here’s the things I think you should do.
[00:49:08] Maybe it’s all of them, here’s some action items, next chapter. Here’s more new stuff, you know, in my case, you know, so it’s told in the, in the format of the story, you know, guys going through a really hard time, I think most people can, can, see themselves in what this guy is going through. And, and, you know, so, so if you see yourself in this character or in the other characters in the book, then you can start seeing yourself doing the exact same things. And the system lays out the reasons. It lays out why it’s valuable and I mean, listen, the system is so simple, right? You can remember it in like three seconds. Right. And I can tell it to you in like three seconds and you could just sit there and think about it and think about it, think about it.
[00:49:44] But you know, this is, I mean, hopefully it’s a good, decent introduction to it and stuff and that’s the story in the book. And, now I’m like, you know, I’m trying to still tell people about the five keys to greatness, hopefully changing lives here and there. And, and, you know, hopefully people can get a chance to like, Pick up the book and take a look at it and, and, you know, learn something from it.
[00:50:00] Mike: [00:50:00] And while we’re definitely going to be putting the links down below when it comes to that point, so much running through my brain right now because a lot of what you thought you hit one, obviously one of the categories is persistence. If I’m catching that correctly, without giving away all five because we want them to read the bloody book. So I’m, I’m very conflicted about this, by the way.
[00:50:25]Ari Gunzburg: [00:50:25] You know, at first I thought, I don’t want to give away the keys and then I’m realizing more and more people. First of all, a lot of the reviewers ended up writing out what the five keys are. And second of all, the people who are going to buy the book are going to buy the book and the people who aren’t or not.
[00:50:40]Mike: [00:50:40] Oh, I was going to say a couple of them.
[00:50:42] Ari Gunzburg: [00:50:42] And I’ve got a video course. We finished recording last week. Cool. That’s currently in post production and it’s the five keys to greatness and it’s designed. That it’s presenting the same five keys to greatness, obviously, but it’s not presenting in the same way as this book. We’re also working on a workbook for the five keys to greatness so that people can do specific exercises to integrate these things into their life. But the idea is, is that again, right? Like with the other program I’m telling you, I was telling you about, I don’t want people to feel like, Oh, he’s trying to make a bucket.
[00:51:15] Look, you know, you want to support my work with the book. You know, like, even if you don’t read it, it would be great. Buy the book, whatever. The, but the five keys I’m saying are like, you know, if you really, really, really want to know what they are, you can do searches. You can sit there, you can find stuff and you’ll be able to find content online that will tell you what the five keys are. So I’ve decided I don’t really care. I’ll share them once I have my set up. Once I have my site up, I’m even going to sit there and give away a downloadable thing of the five keys to greatness. I’ll tell you what they are for free. I don’t care. I really just want people to use them. That’s the main thing.
[00:51:47] Mike: [00:51:47] I want to make a point before you do say what they are. I have another friend who is a big advocate of the Go-Giver. If you remember that book, go get it. It’s a short book. It’s really cool. You have that, Hawaiians call it [inaudible]. You are that kind of person where you believe that giving the value away will show people that you won. You have no fear of the value that you have to share and give to you. Probably got a lot more behind it. Because you understand the concepts better than anybody thinking. You could probably help them understand it better. So they’d want to hire you for other things anyway. So it’s the right mentality. No matter how you look at it, it’s fine. If you want to share them, what are they?
[00:52:33] Ari Gunzburg: [00:52:33] I mean, it’s super, super, super easy to remember what they are. All you have to do is remember the word. Great. Right. So five keys to greatness. Remember the word? Great. You’ve got it. The first key is give, right. You want to just integrate more giving into your life. And there’s so many ways to do that. A lot of people will say, Oh, give, what does that mean? Like charity? No, it means anything. Open the door for somebody, smile at somebody, say hi to somebody, say thank you.
[00:52:56] You know, give somebody an ear when they’re thinking. There’s so many ways to give and that we’re not going to go deeply into that because we’re not gonna go deeply into any of them. But the second one is reason. You want to have a defining reason in major areas of your life. And I recommend a default one to find a reason for work. One, to find your reason for home because nobody likes to go to work and say, Oh, is it the weekend yet? And it’s Monday morning, 9:00 AM. You know, but if you create a meaning behind what you’re doing, then it just helps that tremendously. So give reason the third one is engaged, right? We want to be more present in the present moment.
[00:53:28] Mike: [00:53:28] Oh, now you’re talking my game. I’m going to send you a copy of the book that I wrote. It’s about American business etiquette and the whole premise of the damn thing is being present.
[00:53:41] Ari Gunzburg: [00:53:41] Oh my goodness. I was talking to somebody the other day. It was like a quick networking call. And like in the middle of the call, all of a sudden, like she likes, sat there, past, the role of talking over to me, you know, she presented herself. And that, you know, tell me a little bit about this and I get started. And the next thing I know, know, you know what I did, I’m like sitting there and talking and it was a good moment. And I was like, yeah. And then I came up with my book. I’m sitting there like this, and I’m waiting. Finally, she looks up and she’s like, Oh, very nice.
[00:54:14] Mike: [00:54:14] Oh, yeah, no.
[00:54:20] Ari Gunzburg: [00:54:20] We all can be better at being present, but be more engaged with your own life and with the lives of the people around you. So, absolutely. That’s the third key. And that’s like more mindset, be positive, positivity, stuff like that. That’s the fourth key. And the T is for tenacity persistence. Things don’t happen except by people who remain persistent, despite all hardship. You know, and then I do like a little supplement, which I, at first, when I was teaching it, I would say these are required. But now I realized they’re not that required. You know, if you want to really implement them, you’ll use them.
[00:54:53] But if you do, you’ll use these two extra pieces, but if you don’t, you know, the five keys can still help you, but the two extra things are passionate and action, you know, you gotta be passionate about what you’re doing and you have to focus your passion in the right, in the right direction. Right? Think like a drug addict, right. Being passionate about heroin is not getting you anywhere. And, an action, right? If you don’t take action, nothing’s done.
[00:55:14] Mike: [00:55:14] Did you ever see, that was a clip that was rolling around about Joe Rogan doing some standup, talking about how marijuana might make you forget? I forget things.
[00:55:24] Ari Gunzburg: [00:55:24] No, I forgot.
[00:55:27] Mike: [00:55:27] Oh, it was so funny because you know, Joe’s. He’s a good comedian standing on stage. Can we stock it about, you know, everybody’s against marijuana because it makes you forget things. And I look at them, I go, no. Maybe, but just the stuff that’s not important. I’m sorry, but that’s the first clip that came to mind when you said that there’s a-
[00:55:54] Ari Gunzburg: [00:55:54] There’s a great line from many years ago. I think it was Dennis. What’s his face? Denis Leary, maybe his name is, I don’t remember it. He was talking about like, you know, DUI driving under the influence of what? You got the guy who’s I always forget which delivery to, to do it, to make it the funniest. But like you got the guy who’s driving, like, you know, 30mph, and sitting there trying to eat the upholstery. And then the guy was driving like 120 miles an hour, trying to talk to the upholstery. Big difference there, you know.
[00:56:21] Mike: [00:56:21] It’s different. I think he delivered it just like that a hundred times an hour and talking to the upholstery just makes a whole different impact. Unfortunately, I got this vision in my head, if some guy real wide eyed talking to his chair right next to him, and there’s nothing, there should be insanity that goes with it. So cool. So great. Give reason, engage, amazing tenacity and then passionate action.
[00:56:46] Ari Gunzburg: [00:56:46] Yeah. And then, the whole thing is that the separate part of the concept is people might be like, but I have this other program I was trying to implement, or I was doing this other thing, or this guy told me, patience makes a difference or goals make a difference or whatever.
[00:56:57] And,basically like the biggest thing that I tell people is make the five keys your own, right? Don’t make them what I think they are and make them what will help you in the most, in the best way. And then the second part of that is. Explore the concept of what you’re trying to implement and where it fits into the five keys.
[00:57:13] Cause I guarantee you if it’s in there and if you can’t find it, reach out to me, send me a copy, send me a message online or whatever. And like, we’ll find it, you know, we’ll have a quick little chat, we’ll sit there and be like, okay, goals. Well, you know, goals could be, you could look at them as being a part of a reason or you can look at them as being part of being persistent. Like how do I be persistent and still reach where I’m trying to go. Whatever it is, you know, patients persistent, you know, anything that you’re looking at, it can fit into one of these other things. And so it’s not a contradiction to use both these and a few other systems. Right.
[00:57:38] Mike: [00:57:38] It’s amazing. I’m glad you brought that up because I was going to say, you know, just about every goal-setting program, I’ve seen fit somewhere in what you just gave me. Right. It’s and this is more of an overarching theme that you can use to cover that program to keep you driven.
[00:57:56] Ari Gunzburg: [00:57:56] Right. And like the whole thing is, it’s like I still use it and sometimes I use it better than others. And so it’s like, you can just look at your life at any particular time and say, am I weak in any of these particular areas? Am I not giving enough right now? Am I losing focus on my reason for being am I not as engaged as I should be? Have I lost the ability to like sit there and look at things and be positive about what’s happening to me. Like, am I being too negative? And am I sitting there and throwing in the towel too quickly? Am I giving up too easily? You know? So like if you’re weak in any of these areas, focus on that area for a little bit and strengthen it.
[00:58:29] Mike: [00:58:29] Yeah, absolutely. It makes total sense. We’re going to take one more break you guys when we come. Wow. Dude, we’re just going to get it.
[00:58:33] Ari Gunzburg: [00:58:33] I got a call coming up, so we’re gonna break things and we’ll wrap-up.
[00:58:40] Mike: [00:58:40] Yep, absolutely. We’ll be back in about 30 seconds guys. Just hang in there and we’re gonna, we’re gonna figure out how you can find Ari.
[00:58:46]And we’re back here at Java Chat with Ari Gunzburg. The last section here is basically figuring out where he is now? What he’s working on? So what are you working on? What’s next?
[00:58:58] Ari Gunzburg: [00:58:58] I’m mostly working on speaking. I was telling you about before I had that other program. So I am working on hashing out exactly how that works, the structure of the particular program, you know, making it replicable. And then I got to, you know, recruit beta users. you know, people just sit there and like, just try out.
[00:59:16] Thank you. I’ll send you messages and I’ll put you on the list. I have a list somewhere after to remember where it is. You’ll recruit some beta users to sit there and start trying this program out and seeing like, okay, well this really worked. This really didn’t work, you know? So, instead of sitting there and giving it to the world and saying, this is going to work without ever having tested it I’ll have real feedback from real people.
[00:59:32] As soon as that’s done, so—Oh, that’s, that’s the funny story I was gonna tell you about before. Okay. I started writing the book to sit there and sell this other program that was okay. Oh, we can. Okay. I got it. And built up this whole thing and I got like 6,000 words into it and I have exactly the structure of what I want.
[00:59:48] And now I’m up to the point where like, in the book, I have to have the characters go through the program and I’m like, Crap. What the hell was I thinking? I don’t know what the program is. I don’t know the exact structure of the program, so how can they go through this? That’s what I was like. All right. We’re going to shell that for a little bit while I sit there, and hash out the details of the program. And then we can continue that kind of site.
[01:00:09] Mike: [01:00:09] That’s a slight oopsie there.
[01:00:11] Ari Gunzburg: [01:00:11] Yeah. Like I was like, I finished this first book and I was like, okay. They want to get started immediately on the next book. And then I was like, crap. Moving along and everything. And I’ve got that workbook that I’m coming out with. The video program is currently in post-production with my video guy. I’m just working on a bunch of things and just trying to make sure that I’m giving the proper focus, each one that I’m working on. So I try to work on each one individually.
[01:00:39]Mike: [01:00:39] When do we expect to see something like that to come out? This year, beginning of next year? The new pro course.
[01:00:46] Ari Gunzburg: [01:00:46] Yeah. Is it just the video of course is the five keys. So I want to get those out really before I publish the other book. Once those are out, then I’m going to start cranking out the other book. And so probably I guess, anywhere from 6 to 12 months before that other book comes out, maybe we’ll see. Well, I’m hoping, I’m hoping to have beta testers let’s say by the end of the year.
[01:01:07] Mike: [01:01:07] Cool. You got one, if you need it, and you might have six more behind that, just because of the people that I have on the team.
[01:01:11] Ari Gunzburg: [01:01:11] Yeah, absolutely. I mean, I’d love it. And I don’t want to have just, you know, one beta test group. I want to have a few different groups because every group is going to have a different dynamic. And so I need to learn how that dynamic has changed and, you know, are the things that we’re doing. Are they working? Are they not? And if they’re not that we have to like tweak them to make sure that makes sense.
[01:01:30] Mike: [01:01:30] So, where can they find you now?
[01:01:42] Ari Gunzburg: [01:01:42] Where can they find me now? I have a website. Our most information is on my main website. AriGunz.com.
[01:01:51]Mike: [01:01:51] I like that.com. That’s pretty cool.
[01:01:54] Ari Gunzburg: [01:01:54] And then that actually forests other sites, but it’s just the short URL. And then the book is on the URL, LittleBookOfGreatness.com. All one word, no hyphens, little book of greatness.com. It just has a quick page about that with some reviews and then links to Amazon, so you can buy it.
[01:02:13] Mike: [01:02:13] Nice. And then they can follow you on social media? You’re on Instagram.
[01:02:16] Ari Gunzburg: [01:02:16] Yeah. Yeah. I mean, my social links are at the bottom of my main website. And certainly you can find me if you just do a quick search and whatnot.
[01:02:25] Mike: [01:02:25] Well, and at the same time, we’re going to put all the links down below in the comments. Awesome. If you have questions for Ari, go ahead and put them in the comments. We’ll forward them over to him so he can go ahead and answer them as he has time.
[01:02:37] Ari Gunzburg: [01:02:37] So I tried to, I tried to answer everything personally, so feel free to ask and reach out and talk and everything.
[01:02:42] Mike: [01:02:42] Absolutely. Chances are, we’ll just tag it and say, Hey, are you gonna answer those ones? You have to come back to our channel. Let’s see. If you’re watching us now on YouTube, don’t forget to subscribe. If you have not hit the bell, make sure you know when the next one’s coming up. If you’re listening to us on any of the podcast platforms that we’re a part of, which I think are about 11 or 12 of them now. Thank you. Download it. Subscribe.
[01:03:07] If you’re listening on anchor.fm, that’s our main home. Thank you for listing there. And if you want to make a little donation to support. Feel free every little bit helps. We’re always happy to support back by bringing cool guys like this guy over here, and to share his wisdom and knowledge, their insights, and, you know, we love all of you.
[01:03:25] We thank you all for listening, for watching. That’ll never change. I mean, just the reason that we started this whole thing in the first place was to bring you guys the good stuff with the good people. So stay up, stay safe, stay healthy and live. From Ari Gunzburg and myself, Coffee With Mike, ciao for now.
[01:03:47] Ari Gunzburg: [01:03:47] Thanks for having me.
[01:03:56] Outro: [01:03:56] For more information on Java Chat, visit www.JavaChatPodcast.com. You’ve been listening to @CoffeeWithMike on Java Chat. Tune in weekly to this podcast. For the next episode, you can also download or subscribe today on your favorite podcast platform. A production of Oasis media group, LLC. Located in Las Vegas, Nevada. Copyright 2019, all rights reserved.