Ann Bernard- A First Time for Everything

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Interview with Ann Bernard 11_25_2020

[00:00:27] Mike: [00:00:27] Welcome back, everybody is Java chat. It’s coffee with Mike and I get sit here with the. Queen of first time the lets not say queen her majesty the queen of first time. Ms. Ann Bernard, Ms. Ann Bernard has joined us today on Java chat and glad to have you. Thanks for joining us. 

[00:00:44] Ann Bernard: [00:00:44] Thanks for having me, Michael. I actually, I actually went with the master of first time instead of queen, because if I’m the queen, that means there could be a king.

[00:00:53] Mike: [00:00:53] That’s that’s  you’re the, you’re the, you’re the top of the Hill. There is no, there’s no more mountain it’s there. 

[00:01:01] Ann Bernard: [00:01:01] I’m not sharing it with anyone.

[00:01:06] Mike: [00:01:06] Awesome. That works. Yeah, I found that that your, your focus is very interesting. The master of first time experiences. And can you like give us an I, what, how, what I don’t 

[00:01:24] Ann Bernard: [00:01:24] I, what is it?

[00:01:26] Mike: [00:01:26]  I mean, what is it, what is it about how’d you? Where’s this all come from? 

[00:01:31] Ann Bernard: [00:01:31] So I’ve been on their journey of, for some in new experiences for about eight years.

[00:01:38] Yes. 

[00:01:40] Mike: [00:01:40] How many experiences can you have in eight years? Holy crap. 

[00:01:42] Ann Bernard: [00:01:42] A lot. 

[00:01:43] Mike: [00:01:43] I’m sure. 

[00:01:46] Ann Bernard: [00:01:46] So it happened, I was stationed in Germany. And if you’ve ever been. Bless to live in Europe, any country in Europe, it’s so easy to travel to a new country. 

[00:02:00] New country. So I started traveling to LA and you countries. And while in you country, I was like, huh.

[00:02:08] I should do something you I’m here, especially if it’s something unique to their cultures, to what they have to offer. So I start pursuing new experiences that way. And then a lot of it also became so sports and athletics type of stuff. So

[00:02:27] Ann Bernard: [00:02:27] because I’m a bit of a thrill seeker as well. So,  I’m in these pursuits,

[00:02:32] Mike: [00:02:32] Another adrenaline junkie.

[00:02:34] Ann Bernard: [00:02:34] I’m in these pursuits for a couple of years and then comes time to come back to the U S and when I get back to the U S I was like, Hmm, well, nothing says, because I’m back in the U S that I have to stop. Doing this because I’m enjoying all of these new experiences and it changed my relationship with life.

[00:02:55] I, you know, it opened up my eyes to, there is so much Oh we went to experience. So I continued, I just continued doing it. And then you’re, you know, the years kept rolling by benefiting from the experience I kept enjoying life more and it came time to leave the Marine Corps again and, you know, decide what to do.

[00:03:20] And I decided I’m going to reclaim the title entrepreneur, and I’m going to get back out there and start another business. And now as the brainstorming of. What is going to be about now, what am I uniquely good at? One thing that popped out was living life. Like I have, like, I’m pretty damn good at it.

[00:03:42] I’ve been traveling, I’ve been doing all these amazing things, meeting all kinds of people like top of the world. And how did I end up here? I started a journey a first time in your experiences. So I decided to create a program around that that later in time became an app. And now it’s evolved to even more, as far as like a full self development program and a storytelling concept as well.

[00:04:11] So, and it all revolves around first time and your experiences past, present and future. 

[00:04:16] Mike: [00:04:16] This is, this is interesting.  For,  first off, thank you for your service. I didn’t realize you had served in the Marine Corps. Awesome. Thank you very much.  secondly, that’s having, yeah, the moment you said stationed, I was like, Oh, we have a, we have a veteran.

[00:04:30] This is awesome. Being stationed in Germany, alone as a beginning.  where were you? 

[00:04:38] Ann Bernard: [00:04:38] So I was in the guard. Let’s just Stoodgar. area. 

[00:04:40]Mike: [00:04:40] That’s my that’s. Believe it or not. My mother is originally from a town called Leipheimer, which is not far from Stuttgart.. And well, actually I’m sorry. Yeah, it’s from yeah, stoodgar.

[00:04:53] And then after that goes mentioned, but that’s that’s party town central.  Share with us. I mean, like how did did that just like come as a revelation when you got home or did you just like, were you just going with the flow when you started playing around in Europe? Or how did that work? 

[00:05:11] Ann Bernard: [00:05:11] So it, it kind of, it would, I don’t know.

[00:05:15] It just made sense to me.

[00:05:16] Mike: [00:05:16] Yeah, 

[00:05:17] Ann Bernard: [00:05:17] no sense to me and  well, so what happened was, is we need to backtrack a little bit in, in, in my past. And the reason why I found myself on this journey and in, in Germany is because I had hit rock bottom. And I, when I first left active duty. So I did 10 years on active duty, left, active duty to pursue.

[00:05:41] Entrepreneurial pursuits.  And a few years of doing that, I was broke, had foreclosed on my townhouse, basically homeless. A friend had to lend me some money to rent a room. And I was in a very dark place because I had not dealt with the repeated failures. And I ended up giving my life to God. And he really is the one that started leading me into transforming me.

[00:06:08] And really it was because it was my relationship with life. I was very driven, ambitious, competitive, focused. I didn’t have relationships with my family that have relationship with people. I mean, it was all. I was so, so goal oriented and I wanted to build a multimillion dollar company and just so insanely focused on that, that I then know how to live and the journey that God took me on was really to teach me to live.

[00:06:40] You discover what life had to offer? 

[00:06:44] Mike: [00:06:44] That’s a very powerful revelation in more ways than one, obviously. But I mean, as it, as it is for one to have the drive, cause he obviously had the discipline 10 years in the Marine Corps. You can’t come out on discipline. There’s just no way.  heck five married five years in the Marine Corps.

[00:07:02] You can’t come out on discipline. I I’ve rarely ever seen that. Not be a reality. Being out there. And then all of a sudden realizing there’s a lot more to life. And I just got through talking with,  Daniel  about this on our previous podcast.  your perspective changes because when you’re so focused, you’re tunnel vision, and yet once you get or awakened, I saw I’m sorry, what’s your, what’s your awakened like that?

[00:07:34] The field of view becomes a lot wider. It’s true. 

[00:07:38]Ann Bernard: [00:07:38] And I also, I was also living in that when then.  So when I achieve that, then I’ll do that. So traveling, obviously I do a lot of traveling the first 10 years, you know, in the Marine Corps. Then when I started my entrepreneurial journey, you know, trout traveling, stop everything, you know, it just became all obsession of what it takes to build a business.

[00:08:06] And  when I let go of all of that, then those desires have always wanted to see the world. And I would have put my life on pause and now it was just like, I am going to soaking in, grab, hold, you know, really live and, you know, want to things. The, the journey where God, and when you’re hand your life over to God, and again, I’m not trying to convert anyone.

[00:08:32] This is not, 

[00:08:33] Mike: [00:08:33] this is, this is your, this is your journey. This is 

[00:08:35] Ann Bernard: [00:08:35] how it is, is, is that he showed me I didn’t to find myself traveling the world. I didn’t need millions of dollars. I didn’t need it to be this, this or that. I just needed to do it. And yeah,

[00:08:50] Mike: [00:08:50] It’s funny. I follow actually a couple that are travel hackers and.

[00:08:54] They share. They share how, when they travel, they’re able to travel luxuriously. Obviously they’ve fought, you know, the mile is a miles thing down and how to make every day, I think, work and stuff like that, but they terrible for almost nothing. And they’re still doing it on their dime. They’re not doing it on sponsorships.

[00:09:10] I mean,  they get a little bit of money from there, from there, you know, the influencing and stuff that, but it just goes to show what you just said is completely possible. I mean, you don’t have to have a ton of, I mean, I know right now somebody just told me round trip to, Oh, was the destination. Golly.

[00:09:35] It’s it’s a fairly well-known destination and is only 300 bucks round trip. 

[00:09:38]Ann Bernard: [00:09:38] I mean, right now there’s definitely lots of deals to be had and you can book them now for once COVID is over and it opens back up. There’s a lot, there’s definitely a lot that’s out there and, but it was beyond just straddling though.

[00:09:54] Growing up, I always had, you know, this is why I kind of pursue these things too. It was, it was just like, okay, these are things I always wanted to do. I’m going to do them now. And, but I’m not. I’m anti bucket lists because, because the focus of it’s very limited. It’s like these things I want to do before I die.

[00:10:16] And they’re usually destination set of just actions of learning, growing, you know? So that’s why when I created specify for a shower, it’s like, what can you maximize our life today? Being more mindful of the opportunities that you have to. To have a first time or haven’t experienced. You’ve never had before, but growing up, I, you know, I was infatuated with being outdoors and I didn’t get to live that.

[00:10:42] And I thought the Marine Corps was one of the reasons why I joined the Marine Corps. I’m going to be deployed and beyond the field. And that then, you know, I didn’t scratch the itch either. Now. I was like, okay.  I’m, I’m going to do it, which was so the irony is when I came back from Okinawa, Japan, I bought a SUV.

[00:11:03] they don’t make them anymore.  it was a Ford. Sport track like it. 

[00:11:11] Mike: [00:11:11] So it had like the sports. Do you remember those? 

[00:11:14]Ann Bernard: [00:11:14] So I bought one of those and the plan was, I’m going to, I’m going to camp, I’m going to do all these things. So I had that for 10 years, never went camping with them. So I get to Germany and I buy a BMW.

[00:11:26] And it’s three 28 BMW, 15 or whatever. And I ended up crossing Canada. Would that BMW on the roof. And it was just because it was a matter of ma you know, shifting that mindset and making the decision of I’m doing this.  And then following through with it. So. Although I had set myself up prior, you know, with the right vehicle.

[00:11:55] I just, I had not made the commitment when I made the commitment. It didn’t matter what I drove it didn’t, you know, it’s just, it’s it 

[00:12:02] Mike: [00:12:02] it’s a completely different, again, it goes back to that perspective. It’s completely different from planning to doing. You can plan all day. If you don’t take the action to do.

[00:12:14] Oh, 

[00:12:14] Ann Bernard: [00:12:14] you can just do imply and plan on the fly. You’re not the planner. You can actually do that pretty well. 

[00:12:21]Mike: [00:12:21] There’s, it’s, it’s interesting. Cause I have some friends that are like, I have to plan everything I’m like,  and, and what if this happens? Why you gotta say that Mike. Why you gotta do that?

[00:12:31] I’m like, because shit happens and it probably will. And I’m okay with it. It’s just, what do we do 

we, if you’re going to give you gotta be that kind of planner at the same time, spontaneity has, has a definite place in taking action. Stuff’s going to happen. 

[00:12:49] It’s okay. How do you, how do you deal with it when you get there?

[00:12:52] I mean, you, do you want to have a plan B or do you want to hope that you can come up with one? Like you said, if you’re a really good planner, you can figure shit out pretty quick.  When I was, in destination management, my nickname was crisis, man.  It was not for any proud reason other than, for some reason, anytime I went on an activities, my group was the group that always ended up with, with problems.

[00:13:16] and I had to manage the, the, the crisis,  to a point where on one of our,  one of our trips,  we were on a catamaran. And the captain was a substitute captain. Wasn’t the actual captain of the boat. And he got out near an area of Maui. That’s really well known for heavy winds. And instead of him skirting the shore where the wind isn’t so bad, he went out into deeper water where it gets really bad and the waves get a lot bigger.

[00:13:47] to the point that I literally had to tell him, turn the boat around, head for shore skirt, the skirt, the Island shoreline, and head out to the other. This other port, because if we try to go back the other way right now, we’re going to get swamped. I mean, it was that bad.  And he had lost a main sail,  in, in the midst of all of that.

[00:14:07] So I was like, yeah, you need to go that way.  and that, that actually, that was the day that I actually got the title because the lead came up to me and goes, you’re crisis, man, from here out, just so you know, cause this is like the fifth time something’s happened and it’s been around you. I’m like, that’s not really comforting.

[00:14:22] He goes,  but you’re the only guy that can fix it because all five times everything’s worked out just fine. 

[00:14:27]Ann Bernard: [00:14:27] So I get it. Yeah, I’m somewhere in between. There, there, there are times in my travels where I knew something happened to me. It’s, you know, in a few weeks, somebody who’s going to find my book.

[00:14:40] Oh, I see that. 

[00:14:42] Mike: [00:14:42] I hope not. Let’s not go there. 

[00:14:45] Ann Bernard: [00:14:45] Well, in my family first off, they kind of know that’s how I am. And so I I’ve told them repeatedly, told them if I happen to die in one of these freaks scenario, situation. Just now that I was where I wanted to be like no regrets, I’ve zero. I I’ve always done everything I ever wanted to do in life.

[00:15:07] So, you know, it’s a no regrets situation. The only thing I ever worried about, it’s like, ah, somebody used to fly my dog, take care of it, but don’t return. 

[00:15:19] Mike: [00:15:19] It’s like, do you have. 

[00:15:20] Ann Bernard: [00:15:20] Do you have a will 

[00:15:21] Mike: [00:15:21] just in case. Hey, so share with us one of the most memorable first times that you’ve had one of the most first-time adventures, a memorable first-time adventures that you’ve ever experienced.

[00:15:34] Ann Bernard: [00:15:34] So there’s, there’s a few, but I would say one of the, because it was just incredibly beautiful and amazing was I went paragliding in Austria. Oh, wow. Actually, no, it was in Switzerland and interlock and Switzerland, and I had awesome. It was over 4th of July weekend and I had like, it was a weekend full of first times.

[00:16:00] And. I have never been an Interlochen, so I get motion sickness. Oh boy. And usually if I’m driving, it’s not a problem.  Until I start driving the Swiss Alps,

[00:16:18] Mike: [00:16:18] there’s always that there’s always that. And then there’s. 

[00:16:21]Ann Bernard: [00:16:21] And then there’s one experience I hadn’t had yet. So. I, I, by the time I get in a lock-in, I’m not feeling too good, but later that day I had already planned. Cause I had like stocked my schedule. So I’m like, okay. So I’m relaxing trying to, you know, get a little bit of food and just trying to stabilize my stomach.

[00:16:43] And I link up with the folks who get in the van and we go up the mountain. Like, Oh,  we’re going to be bad. So we get, we get up there and the views view’s already incredible. And my palate’s talking to me telling me, you know, what we’re going to do. And then we run and we’re off, you know, in the air. And it’s just, the view is breathtaking.

[00:17:04] It’s incredible. And we’re getting close to the end and he’s like, do you want me to do some tricks? And of course I’m like, Oh, yeah, let’s do this.

[00:17:21] And then by the time I get on the ground, I am Polly. I’m like green. He’s like, are you okay? I was done. I was done for the rest of the day.

[00:17:36] I still go back and I’m like, I had to say yes at night 

[00:17:40] Mike: [00:17:40] it was that initial reaction. 

[00:17:41] Ann Bernard: [00:17:41] Sure. What could possibly go? Ooh, think this through.  So actually on my way to Guatemala, on my way to like into Tetum I ended up. For being on this side of the poor guy’s van.  My, my motion sickness has sometimes limited my ability to do the things that I want to do, 

[00:18:04] Mike: [00:18:04] but you’ve been able to do a lot.

[00:18:05] I mean, you said that whole weekend was full of first. What other things. 

[00:18:09] Ann Bernard: [00:18:09] I went, I canyoning for the first 

[00:18:12] Mike: [00:18:12] time, I have not heard before. What is this? 

[00:18:16] Ann Bernard: [00:18:16] So you go in, you go, so it’s in the canyons, like words. So there was water. That flows through and you go repelling and you jump in water and it’s got all kinds of crazy stuff going on.

[00:18:32] That sounds cool. Yeah, it was a really cool, really cool 

[00:18:36] Mike: [00:18:36] story in there in our lock-in. 

[00:18:38] Ann Bernard: [00:18:38] I mean, it’s just an outdoor, I mean, that’s just that place, just an outdoor paradise. And then I mountain bike. And so this is my first time I had a realization that,  hiking is a serious sport. So the last day and I’m like, I’m going to go hiking.

[00:18:55] I did not own hiking boots. Okay. So total newbie, I hiked at the bottom of the grand Canyon and sneakers. Like I’ve done some sort of things where again, got away with it. I’m thinking I’m good. And so in the park. So I drive up quite a bit like, cause I mean the apps are massive. Rachel drive up quite a bit and in the parking lot, everybody’s putting on hiking boots.

[00:19:22] Cause obviously. The Swiss are very serious about their hiking there. 

[00:19:28] They’re putting on their boots, they got their poles and I’m like, what? They need all this for.

[00:19:37] I take a tram and I go even higher. 

[00:19:40] Mike: [00:19:40] My mind doesn’t think like that. My mind sees everybody putting on stuff that I don’t have and I’m gone. Okay. What, what do they know that I don’t, 

[00:19:48] Ann Bernard: [00:19:48] that’s probably a smarter way of looking at things 

[00:19:53] Mike: [00:19:53] and then the Trek going up even higher. And I’m like, yeah, I certainly missed something on this all day.

[00:19:58]I’m like, 

[00:19:58]Ann Bernard: [00:19:58] I’m like, I’m good. I got, yeah, that’s definitely the Marine attitudes. 

[00:20:03] Mike: [00:20:03] I was going to say typical Marine, just a Hill. We’ll take it. 

[00:20:08] Ann Bernard: [00:20:08] I get, I get to the trail head. And I’m looking at the trail and I mean, it’s rockets roots. Like it’s, it’s, it’s, it’s serious stuff. And I’m like, Ooh. So this is why.

[00:20:18] So I was, I was smart enough to be like, no, I’m not, I will not be, I will not be hiking today. And then I went and bought a pair of hiking boots, the following weekend. And you’re like, okay, I need to, I need to do this.  And that became, I became that person in the parking lot.

[00:20:36] Mike: [00:20:36] Ah, that’s awesome. 

[00:20:40]  shucks. Okay. So I don’t want to stop the stories cause I’m sure there’s a ton more,  we’re gonna take a short pause for about 30 seconds. I’m still imagining how this whole thing played out.  we’re gonna take a short pause for about 30 seconds and,  when we come back, we’ll talk a little bit more about what,  what inspired antsy to start taking this path.

[00:21:03] After the hiking incident, of course.  and we’ll, we’ll be back in about 30 seconds. 

***

We’re back to the java chat here with Ann Bernard talking about first times. If you can remember the last time you ever did something for the first time, fairly sure you remember that there were some,  possible issues in pushing through.

[00:21:23] we were just kind of talking about that on the break,  with regards to dealing with fear. 

[00:21:29] Ann Bernard: [00:21:29] Well, 

[00:21:29] Mike: [00:21:29] this section, we talk more about inspiration. And depending on the level of inspiration, I’m fairly sure you can push past fear. So when it comes down to it, you had that moment. What inspires you or continues to inspire you to do what you’re doing as far as sharing how to have these first time experiences?

[00:21:50] Ann Bernard: [00:21:50] Because it’s life changing. Like I want people to find the magic in life and the way to do that, Stu explores what it has to offer. And, and so, and there’s so many benefits to having first time in your experiences and, and I’ll, I’ll clear up the.  words right now for we get more into this, is that, so a new experience will always be a first time and haven’t done it first time a first time though, might not necessarily be a new experience, but it’s your first time achieving something within that experience.

[00:22:29] So 

[00:22:29] Mike: [00:22:29] got it. Got it. Makes sense. 

[00:22:31]Ann Bernard: [00:22:31] So if we go back to the hiking, so your first. Buying a first pair of hiking boots. That’s a first, your first hike, your first peak, your first, overnight, your first. So you’re building on things. And as you do that, So I’m sure, you know, the people that listen to you realize inspiration, you run out of it, motivation you run out of it, discipline you run out of it.

[00:22:58] So you have to find ways to keep yourself inspired and motivated. And one of the best ways to do that is to realize how to release dopamine. And there’s nothing like the. Thoughts of achieving something that you’ve never done before to actually release meaning gets you excited to do it. Then when you do it, you get the dopamine boost and then afterwards you get the dopamine high.

[00:23:28] So it’s, it’s a great way of pursuing first times, but achieving goals with. Employing, you know, dopamine to get that done. So, and you know, if people think about it, you know, if you just think about the first time maybe, or the new experience of doing a sport that you’ve never done before or an activity like the first time I did archery, the first time I went ax throwing it’s it might sound like something silly to do, but it’s fun.

[00:24:06] It gives you like this huge dopamine hit. And when you get done, even if you sucked at it, this even you don’t need to be good at it, you can suck at it, but it was fun. And it was right here. I did. 

[00:24:20]Mike: [00:24:20] I I’ve I’ve I’ve still yet to go. I don’t even know where the place is. I want to go try it. Cause it looks like 

[00:24:26] Ann Bernard: [00:24:26] I went to ax monkey and I have to admit, I didn’t realize it’s a little bit more dangerous than you because they bounced back the accent 

[00:24:36] Mike: [00:24:36] If you do it wrong.

[00:24:36] It’ll come back to you. 

[00:24:37] Ann Bernard: [00:24:37] They do bounce back. And I was like, Ooh, I did not expect this.

[00:24:45] Mike: [00:24:45] You have to really know what you’re doing when you’re doing 

[00:24:48] Ann Bernard: [00:24:48] well. By the end of it, I have like two axes at a time and I’m throwing them and it was just like, I have a bit of an obsessive personality. So it’s like, these are the three different throws and I just. You know, and I know, I know the way the body and the brain works, you know, it’s repetitive.

[00:25:06] So I just kept going and going and going until I like within an hour, I had all three throws down. Perfect. I was like,  yup.  

[00:25:16] Mike: [00:25:16] I’ve actually seen some guys that do that as,  the,  who’s that one guy. He literally took his hat off, tossed it an underhand through a,  an accident, landed in the hat, landed right on the handle as a, as a perfect hang.

[00:25:31] And I looked at that and I was like, yeah, he’s bad. He’s bad. And boy knows what he’s up to. 

[00:25:36] Ann Bernard: [00:25:36] I want, I want to go back and throw the stars and the knives. 

[00:25:40] Mike: [00:25:40] That’s what we through.  Just from days of martial arts, I would love to learn the ax part of it, the knives and stars. I had a buddy who was a knife server who could nail nail his own knife.

[00:25:50] On the, on the bullet, on the bullseye.  And I, and I said, yeah, remind me never to upset you. Just to remind me that I just, I don’t want to know. I don’t want to know, 

[00:26:04] Ann Bernard: [00:26:04] but you know, what’s so, I mean, obviously as a Marine, I’ve been to the rifle range to pistol Paige. And so the safety procedures are similar same way with archery.

[00:26:14] Right? And it’s that connection between, you know, your, your body, your mind. Cause you have to control your breathing, you know, it’s, they’re great. Sports they’re great activities to do, to be present. And there’s nothing like doing something you’ve never done that has a slight hint of danger to your safety that is going to make the, like the world go away.

[00:26:38] So the other thing I did the I’m going to plug some, some Las Vegas businesses did the glassblowing, but it’s actually like the torch work. Yeah, here in Las Vegas. And that was also amazing because it’s dangerous because obviously it’s, the torches is like 3000 Fahrenheit or whatever.

[00:27:02] It’s amazing. Cause you’re melting glass and your brain is registering. Like what’s happening as you have to, you know, keep doing and then you produce something, you make something and I mean, all of it is. You know, that inspires me and I want to pass it on. So other people get inspired and awed by how I did this.

[00:27:26] I tried this. 

[00:27:28] Mike: [00:27:28] It’s interesting that, and as you guys are, as you’re listening to this and watching both of those experiences, To me, both of those experiences are equally as exciting on the one side you’re you’re dealing with chaos. On the other side, you’re dealing with creativity. Both are first time experiences.

[00:27:51] Both could do some major, like could really get you excited. Either side. And then of course, there’s obviously all the stuff in between for first time experience. Is it when you mentioned dopamine, everybody keeps thinking about this as huge rush. Not every first experience is going to be a huge rush to they’ll come in.

[00:28:06] Sometimes it’s going to be a little bit, but it’ll be enough to get your attention. Am I right?

[00:28:09] Ann Bernard: [00:28:09] Yeah, and it’s well, and it’s going to be more than what you get from getting a like on Facebook, right? So a lot of people talk about the addiction of social media, because it does a little dopamine hits. 

[00:28:21] Mike: [00:28:21] It’s going to be years ago.

[00:28:24] Ann Bernard: [00:28:24] It’s going to be much more than that, and it’s a lot healthier for you and it’s an interaction with life and what it has to offer. 

[00:28:34] Mike: [00:28:34] I think, I think we can both agree that social media lost its luster years ago. And most of what we see on online these days of, at least for me, I just don’t get the dopamine that I used to get when like moving from MySpace to Facebook back in Oh six.

[00:28:52] That was probably about the most dopamine I got out of social media since then has been, Oh, there’s a new platform. Okay. That’s cool. That’s pretty picture, blah, blah, blah. Not a real first time kind of feeling if that makes sense. 

[00:29:05] Ann Bernard: [00:29:05] No, but it’s the addiction of it’s the reward system that creates the, the, the dopamine.

[00:29:11] So you post something, you want to be rewarded because you think it’s brilliant and you want other, people’s thinking that it’s brilliant. So you’re waiting for the reward system. 

[00:29:20] Mike: [00:29:20] You know, the kid can wait. It’s not, it’s not brilliant. Brilliant. That’s sucks. Oh, it’s not brilliant. Okay. I have to figure out something else now.

[00:29:28]Ann Bernard: [00:29:28] So, you know, you’re getting caught up in things that don’t enhance who you are. So you want to pursue experiences that have the potential of enhancing who you are of teaching you, of growing you. So when I, when I was a kid, Total sore loser. I gained like angry throw a fit. So losers. So I stopped playing four games.

[00:29:55] Just couldn’t handle it. You would have hands. 

[00:29:59] Mike: [00:29:59] You would’ve, you would’ve, I would’ve been the one you were blaming for the problem. I guarantee it, especially because it wasn’t, it wasn’t fair. That would be the, that would be the classic. That’s not fair. Well, it is. It’s the rules. 

[00:30:12] Ann Bernard: [00:30:12] So when I started my journey and I, I looked, when I come back to the site, I looked at re-embracing games.

[00:30:20] And because one there’s value in playing a new game because you have to learn the rules.  So the majority of us ha you know, don’t. Don’t learn. So learning a game is very similar to being in a school environment where you have to learn a concept.  And then you have to apply it.  So that has tremendous benefits.

[00:30:44] Your learning ability wakes your brain back up and says, Whoa, okay. I’m not used to doing this kind of, you know, this kind of. It’s got to work now. Yep. Yep. And so that has the benefit. That’s an N now I’m a, I’m a grownup. I can handle my emotions, hopefully, hopefully a little bit. I’m still very competitive, but I can 

[00:31:06] Mike: [00:31:06] be competitive.

[00:31:07] Absolutely fine. It’s it’s the, it’s the, hopefully we’ve grown up enough to manage our emotions. 

[00:31:12] Ann Bernard: [00:31:12] Yeah, I can. I can, you know, I can, except when I’m getting beat, but I’d say when I play with my step-mom it’s because, but then, but then you realize your belief system, like we’ll play Yahtzee and she’ll call it, like whatever she’s looking to roll, she’ll call it.

[00:31:29] She’ll do the same thing in the casino. I don’t operate that way. Like I think it’s, I think it’s random. It doesn’t matter what I think. But apparently for people who do. It’s like actually putting intentions. They, they’re more likely to get what they want. And I’m always fascinated by that because she does that.

[00:31:45] I don’t do that. And it’s like, Ooh. And 

[00:31:47] Mike: [00:31:47] then she went and it’s like, 

[00:31:50] Ann Bernard: [00:31:50] but anyways, so I got into playing more and more, more board games. And I, you know, I discovered like how amazing and beneficial that that was. And  you know, you have to get strategic. You have to look at how your opponent works. So once you master the concept and you have to master as somebody else’s playing the concept and you know, there’s just so much, that’s good in exercising, your thinking process and then engaging in Euro plasticity for your brain.

[00:32:20] Mike: [00:32:20] It’s interesting cause that you say that a buddy of mine,  I don’t play chess half as much as I used to. And I was, I was never super excellent at it, but. I played one of my buddies who actually could play computers and win and it would, it would literally, it was, it was those little boards for mini chess sets and you would press it down and you make your move, press it down.

[00:32:40] And it thinks and tries. He would beat it every time and I’d look at him and I go, how do you, how are you doing this? And he goes, you gotta be about five to 10 ahead of it. I’m like, but that’s umpteen million, million possibilities of an outcome. And he goes, yeah, I said, but. But, and if he makes a move, it changes the whole thing.

[00:33:01] He goes. Yup. So how are you able to do that? He goes, I just, I’ve been playing this so long. I’m just, I’m just used to it. And when he, if he plays chess, it’s, it’s, it’s hard. He, he can play with some of the best of them,  for us as people, as you mentioned, just now learning board games. Okay. What board game?

[00:33:22] Me plan. You could be playing cards against humanity for all I care. There skills and things, even inside of that, that teach you,  what’s the word,  intuition, emotional intelligence, things of that nature. And it probably goes along with a lot of the first time experiences that you teach about. Am I right?

[00:33:44] Ann Bernard: [00:33:44] Well, yeah, cause I mean, it has, it, it has those immediate benefits. Although the benefit to the brain is only in the learning process.  Where people say, so Duke is good for the brain. So Duco is only good for the brain when you learn. So Duku once you know how to do so. Do you CU your brain is like I got this right?

[00:34:02] Yep. Yep. So it’s constantly. Taxing and challenging your brain to be like, Hey, I want you to learn this. And, and this is, and all of these processes immensely impact your ability to be, to be creative. Because you’re stacking and you’re bringing all this new data information, your brain does such amazing things in the background with all that information and makes connections.

[00:34:32] It wants to, I mean, that’s, you know, our brains want to find familiarity and the things that we do, so it starts making these connections. And then also when you’re on this journey, and it’s the, what I discovered is that as I’m on this journey for some of your experiences,  getting smarter about things that I know nothing about, you know, initially I didn’t know why.

[00:34:55] And I started doing more research in your science, you know, and your scientists, and last few years have come up with some serious new data information. And so, I’m like reading that, I’m like, Oh my God, this is what I’ve been doing. This is how I’ve been benefiting.  And it was like, You know, and I did, I completely just sort of fell into it now I’ve become more, you know, intentional about it and teaching people how to do the same thing.

[00:35:26] And so that they can, you know, all of a sudden get those benefits and be like, Ooh, that is so cool. Like learning faster. I never had ever had before I problem solve better. I do all of these different things. Because I’ve been having fun, throwing axes, doing archery, playing board games, you know, and people, people think you have to put in like this, you know, hard it’s, there’s still hard work to be done, but it can be fun.

[00:35:57] Mike: [00:35:57] Yeah, absolutely. I totally agree with that. In fact, if you’re not having fun while you’re doing the hard work, you’re overdoing it and that’s a personal, a personal opinion, but I mean, if it’s going to be that much work, they’re going to be that much reward. At least if it, if it doesn’t balance out then is it really worth doing?

[00:36:16] I, you know, I mean, it could be anything from like doing the canyoning. Obviously we have red rock out here. We were just out this past week, past weekend. Walking around,  golly, what was the name of the place?  It’s the old house that Hughes corporate used to own. There’s a little state park out there and there’s a little trail, easy trail walk.

[00:36:41] I’d never been, I enjoyed the walk, got to see some native plants, got to see some others. Types of plants that I wouldn’t have expected to be out in the middle of the desert, but you know, being so close to a wash, obviously there’s probably some water somewhere underground because there’s a big old trees out there and I’m talking to Ash and we all know Ash, ain’t exactly small and they got taproots to go pretty deep.

[00:37:04] so it’s, it’s it again, as a first-time experience, I found it educational. And at the same time I found it very fulfilling because it’s like, I’d never been there. I’ve lived here since Oh four, but I’ve never been out to that trail. I’ve been to Bonnie Springs. I’ve been to red rock, but not that specific spot.

[00:37:23] So it’s like, I think for anybody a first time is already an inspiration because now there’s again, you’re changing your field of view. 

[00:37:34]Ann Bernard: [00:37:34] Do you want to have that curious mindset? You want to have that exploring mindset and that, that is going to be inspirational and, you know, and, and the good thing is you did pay attention.

[00:37:45] Like you’re mindful of it’s my first time here and I’m paying attention to my environment. Like, Oh, I’m curious about this. You know, I Google things all the time and. I might not even remember the information that I Google, but at that time I’m curious about someone to answer, you know, I look it up and it’s been great because the last time I lived in the desert was in 29 palms, California when I was stationed there.

[00:38:10] And, you know, I realized back then that the desert. You know, there’s so much life. If you start looking for it and you know, that that is great. Or having those, those discoveries. And I found, you know, here is a different type of desert cause there is water that runs under, you know, Yup. The area you find fine contemplates contemplating.

[00:38:37] I’m like, what is that one? This is so beautiful. And it blooms at different times. It blooms twice a year. It’s just like, I don’t compute. I’m not used to this, you know, being funny. 

[00:38:50]Mike: [00:38:50]  It threw me off too. Like even in Arizona, which is another desert area, or, or,  what was the other one? New Mexico, New Mexico.

[00:38:58] I actually got to see what it really looks like to see an underground river. Because as you’re going from Albuquerque, South, you run along a Riverbed. That’s dead. There’s no water, but it’s freaking green all along the whole river. I mean, like in the middle and on the banks, there’s water running underground and you just don’t, you don’t catch it until, you know, you start talking to people and going, okay, what’s the story here?

[00:39:22] They’re like, well only when it really rains. Do you see any water on top, but the ground in and of itself, they’re stuck. And again, Trivia trivial maybe, but the idea is that you’re looking and, and learning about something that 

[00:39:40] Ann Bernard: [00:39:40] It’s fascinating. 

[00:39:41] Mike: [00:39:41] Thank you. That’s the word? It’s fascinating information that you will ever use it in your lifetime?

[00:39:47] Maybe. Maybe not, but I’ll tell you what I kind of stuff matters. If you ever have to get into survival mode. You know, I know they, I know they teach that in the military. They don’t always teach that outside of the military, you know, survivability and survival. 

[00:40:00] Ann Bernard: [00:40:00] Well, they don’t teach it as much as I, I wish that they, that they would, but I, we, we did get, I know that if I’m in a mode, desert and I’m lost.

[00:40:11] Do you not PE 

[00:40:13] Mike: [00:40:13] exactly. That is a truth for those of you that don’t hold that one. We’re not going to get into why, but it is an absolute truth. 

[00:40:21] Ann Bernard: [00:40:21] Do not keep your liquids, 

[00:40:23] Mike: [00:40:23] keep your kids as much as you can. Oh boy. Where do we go with this?  That is funny.  we’re going to take one more short break. I think that’s the best time for that too.

[00:40:35] Good. Good, good catch. I want to take one more short break.  30 seconds. We’ll come back and we’re going to talk about,  we’re gonna talk about ants programs, cause I wanted to tell you guys a little bit more about how it works, what it is,  how you can benefit, et cetera, et cetera. So we’ll be back in about 30 seconds.

***

[00:40:50] Welcome back Java chat here with M Bernard and we’re talking about first-time experiences. And actually Anne has a whole business around that,  where she teaches people about,  having them, how to have them, how to enjoy them, how to 

[00:41:05] Ann Bernard: [00:41:05] pretty much everything about 

[00:41:06] Mike: [00:41:06] first-time experiences. Is that fair.

[00:41:08] Yep. Cool. 

[00:41:10] So we already heard how you came about how you did it. You even shared some of your storage, which is awesome. What is it that your program can help somebody do with these first experiences? You know, obviously getting to them and then what to do with them after, how does 

[00:41:27] Ann Bernard: [00:41:27] that work? So the first thing to do is to download three 65 first challenge app.

[00:41:33] It’s available on an Android and Apple, and that allows you to make you less. So you pick your categories and it’s like, then the restart swiping things that you, you know, if something comes up, 

[00:41:45] Mike: [00:41:45] probably when you can swipe a lot more left than the other than the other ones or a lot more right than left.

[00:41:50]Ann Bernard: [00:41:50] So something comes up, that’s something you’ve done 

[00:41:52] Mike: [00:41:52] before using those apps. 

[00:41:55] Ann Bernard: [00:41:55] You swipe up. Sometimes 

[00:41:57] Mike: [00:41:57] before wipe up 

[00:41:58] Ann Bernard: [00:41:58] Something that you’ve never done, not interested. You go left, never done what to add to your list. You go,  so it’s, it’s really to just get you thinking, because when I first created this, I would tell somebody like, Hey, what’s something you’ve never done before that you want to do.

[00:42:12] And I got a lot of blank stares. And then I guess then I got a lot of bucket list items. So I was like, clearly I need to give you 

[00:42:19] Mike: [00:42:19] questions. 

[00:42:21] Ann Bernard: [00:42:21] So I created the app. It’s not perfect. It’s my MVP. It definitely needs improvement. So I’m just going to caveat with that. So, but that’s a great way of getting started.

[00:42:32] The, and then. If you follow on social media, there’s a three 65 first challenge group. You can join that. And we support each other in doing first time in your experiences. Then I have different programs. So there’s the maximize your journey program, where now you learn how to be strategic and, you know, very specific.

[00:42:54] In choosing for some in your experiences for yourself development. So if you want to step out of your comfort zones, face your fears become more creative work on your cognitive abilities. Then now you learn how to be actually systematic about it. Pursuing yourself development wit first time in your experiences.

[00:43:17] And since, so I mentioned a little bit, so I moved to Las Vegas because when I came up with this, I was still back in Germany. I was like, okay, where am I going to live in the us? And I started looking, you know, the hashtag first time you first experience in the one city around the world that is associated with those terms more than any other city.

[00:43:40] Is Las Vegas. 

[00:43:41] Mike: [00:43:41] Yep. 

[00:43:42] Ann Bernard: [00:43:42] So like I’m moving to Vegas because, you know, if I can expose, you know, people come here with that mindset. If I get them into, you know, doing for some of your experiences, while they’re in Las Vegas, they go back home and they continue to do that. Well, then COVID, COVID hit and parting up with businesses and going out in a boat.

[00:44:07]Mike: [00:44:07] Kind of, kind of a screeching halt I’m. Sure.  

[00:44:10] Ann Bernard: [00:44:10] So I started focusing, I had started a podcast called the three 65 first podcast. So I started doing the first time story telling broadcasts where people come on and share a first-time story. Different reason why I was doing it, but one of the big reason was if somebody selling an inspiring story about a first time, it’s going to inspire somebody else to go try first time.

[00:44:35] Sure. In the process. What I discovered though, was, was how powerful for someone, your experiences, our past ones are in shaping, impacting who we’ve become. So, and then I realized a lot of my guests were actually not storytellers. They’re great 

[00:44:53] Mike: [00:44:53] at sharing. 

[00:44:55] Ann Bernard: [00:44:55] You know, they were great at teaching, but not at telling stories once upon a time.

[00:45:00] So I, so I developed a whole program around first-time storytelling so that you can raise yourself awareness, but you can learn to communicate and express who you are in concise, clear, and engaging facts. 

[00:45:17] Mike: [00:45:17] There’s so many, there’s so many marketers that need to take that. I swear. 

[00:45:22] Ann Bernard: [00:45:22] So now the, you know, the world kind of expanded.

[00:45:27] Okay. There’s a three 65. First challenge is first time storytelling. And this next little first coaching to where, you know, if you want to enter the world of action-based self-development, this is the place to be, you know, And it’s, it’s gotta be fascinating, interesting, fun. You know, engaging and you’re gonna, you’re gonna grow.

[00:45:53] You’re gonna communicate in different ways. I mean, so kind of brought like a massive family of programs together around first times in your experiences. 

[00:46:04] Mike: [00:46:04] And is that podcast still going 

[00:46:06] Ann Bernard: [00:46:06] okay. It’s on pause. If, if you get the pause was me making her facial expression, 

[00:46:15] Mike: [00:46:15] but I mean, it’s, there, there are episodes up though.

[00:46:18] Ann Bernard: [00:46:18] Still there that’s a hundred episodes yet. There’s an expert advice for your first time series. There’s people’s first time stories. My first time stories and. I will pick it back up in 2021 I’ll launch season two of expert advice before your first time. And,  yep. So Greg does, there is a hundred episodes of great content there 

[00:46:39] Mike: [00:46:39] to check out.

[00:46:39] That’s awesome. You wrote a book.

[00:46:42] Ann Bernard: [00:46:42] I did. What’s the book, how to become a first time storyteller. So it’s the 

[00:46:48] Mike: [00:46:48] still based around the storytelling. 

[00:46:49]Ann Bernard: [00:46:49] So it’s the actual process of how to, so first time is in parenthesis because I’m ultimately teaching you how to be a storyteller is just your first time stories.

[00:47:01] And trust me on this are your most powerful, so I connect you with your first time stories, but I teach you how to become a first time storyteller and, you know, Storytelling is ancient art that has been lost. So, marketers and salespeople and business people are picking it back up, but they’re doing it, you know, as a way to persuade you to do something, which is.

[00:47:31] You can, you know, it is a purpose of first time storytelling, but this is about personal storytelling so that you can connect with people. I have a quote after a conversation. I don’t want you to have an opinion of me. I want you to have an understanding of who I am.  For you to have that understanding.

[00:47:51] I have to take you to the next level. In, in the interaction on how I communicate with you and, you know, bring you into actually walking in my shoes so that you have that understanding. And so that’s what I teach in the book. And yeah, 

[00:48:08] Mike: [00:48:08] so that takes me back to the good storytellers. Used to be the camp counselors, summer camp.

[00:48:16] I used to go to a YMCA camp every summer. And they would always, you know, the fireside stories, whether it was the ghost stories or whether it was just telling stories or whatever those you’re  there’s I don’t see a lot of that these days. I don’t see a lot of just people sharing a story in a manner that allows you to understand who they are.

[00:48:38] They do a lot more story. Look at what Brenda did. Look at what Tom did, and this is their testimonial. And this is the it’s. It’s still more. Info dumping than it is storytelling.  there are very few people that are very good at storytelling.  one of the, one of the ones that’s very well known as a guy by the name of Billy Jean, Billy Jean is marketing.

[00:48:57] He’s very good at storytelling and he does all kinds of cool shit with it when it comes to that,  there’s a couple others that people probably don’t know as well, but if you can get that down, I would think that the ability of people to understand. You are for one and be able to connect with you for two, even if it’s not, even if it’s not a purposeful connection that, that may, you know, that anybody wants, but for somebody to at least understand who you are, I would think it would reduce the amount.

[00:49:30] One, your fear of people judging you to their actual judgment of you. Because now they’re, they’re looking at more, you at your character than anything else, just because of what you share. Does that make sense? 

[00:49:39] Ann Bernard: [00:49:39] Yeah, well, you know, when one of the requirements, so I go into the components, components of storytelling, I go into the requirements requirements is you have to be willing to open up and be vulnerable, which means you have to share your thoughts, your feelings, and your emotions.

[00:49:57] And bonus, if you can share why you had those thoughts, feelings, any emotions. So now when I’m telling you my story, you are truly understanding where I’m coming from and why I’m coming from that position. So now it doesn’t matter if you agree or disagree with it, you have the understanding. 

[00:50:19] Mike: [00:50:19] I think that’s, that’s, that’s a lot more important.

[00:50:21] I think it’s, cause it’s not, everybody’s going to agree with you. I don’t care what it is. You’re going to have disagreements, even, even some of your best friends, you will have disagreements, but if they can, at least, like you said, understand why and the process behind it. It’ll make it easier for them to at least say, okay, I get it, 

[00:50:38] Ann Bernard: [00:50:38] but it’s not, but let me caveat.

[00:50:40] You’re not sharing. So in first time, storytelling, you’re not sharing your opinions. So I’m actually sharing an event in my life and how that event impacted and shaped me. So, you know, Thankfully, there is a right and wrong because I’m telling you, this is what happened. If you don’t want to believe it, or if you don’t want to see it the same, then I’m probably going to question why you in my life, why do I have a relationship with you?

[00:51:09] Right? Because if I, if I can open up at that level, And you reject it, then there’s, there’s a problem. And it’s not my story. It’s the person I told it to. So yeah, there’s, there’s a lot, once you learn to communicate that way, that, that shifts and changes, but it’s it also just, again, we’ll go back to the brain, right?

[00:51:32] If you change the way that you communicate, your brain has changed the way that I process information. So let’s, once you become. You, you get, you, you learn to become a storyteller. You, your brain starts processing your life and who you are in stories in pictures and you express it that way. Let’s say you have a bad day.

[00:51:52] You’re going to be better equipped to actually tell the person what happened in that day that led you to feeling the way that you feel now. So instead of being reactive and, you know, expressing emotions that you might not have identified why you’re going to be able to see your day. And tell the story of your day and then get the person to understand why you feel the way that you do, which now creates such better relationship between the people, you know, you and the people in your life.

[00:52:23] Mike: [00:52:23] I am, I’m seeing a personal relationship there too, because like you said, your brain’s beginning to analyze. So you’re through the story and telling them that story. I would gather you probably have some self realizations too. I can’t see that not happening. 

[00:52:37]Ann Bernard: [00:52:37] So huge part of it, because one of the things that, you know, one of the biggest thing in becoming a storyteller is you have to start seeing yourself as a character.

[00:52:46] You have to understand yourself as the character of your story to, again, communicate that. And so many people, their communication breakdown at the start, because they don’t actually understand themselves. And why they think and feel that way. So then they can’t communicate it. And then that creates anger.

[00:53:08] It creates a lot of emotions to not be able to communicate who you are. 

[00:53:13] Mike: [00:53:13] Absolutely. That makes absolute sense. Geez. That’s going to be huge. All right, cool. So if somebody wants to find you, I know you said the app already, which you can pick up and you mentioned the group on Facebook. Is there a website 

[00:53:25] Ann Bernard: [00:53:25] as well?

[00:53:26] There is so a couple of 

[00:53:27] websites. 

[00:53:30] Ann Bernard: [00:53:30] If you’re interested in the storytelling, then it’s first-time storytelling.com. The challenge you can go with three 65 first challenge.com. You know, lots of block pros there on first time in your experiences. To the app. And then I would the three 65 first podcasts. It links from the different websites.

[00:53:50]And then,  I’m becoming very active on YouTube. Nice storytelling on YouTube or the two 65 first challenge on YouTube. You’re gonna get a lot of, lots of content there as well. 

[00:54:02] Mike: [00:54:02] It sounds like we’re going to be making a visit ourselves. So guys, for those of you that are watching right now, of course, all of those links will be down below in the comments.

[00:54:11] So I’ll make sure you check it out. If you got any questions, she’s going to get the link to this,  broadcast and podcast later.  feel free to ask a question. She can come back and check in. And if she sees one that you had asked, you know, she can answer you,  or just go follow her on our, website’s probably easier.

[00:54:27] if you are. Oh, and if you are watching, make sure you hit the subscribe button, make sure you hit that bell next to it. Cause that tells you when the next awesome person like this is going to come in and share some of this crazy wonderful information. If you’re listening to us on any of the podcast platforms that we’re on, we’re on like 12 of them.

[00:54:42] Now I leave there’s it’s 12, but anyway, you’re listening. Make sure you download. Make sure you subscribe on your favorite one. If you’re listening to us on anchor.fm, which is where we home hosts, feel free to give us a little support there. Every little bit helps and we do appreciate it. We do appreciate, you know, I just had, this is like my second cup of coffee and this is still anyway, we do appreciate every single one of you that stops in and takes a listen to our content.

[00:55:08] we try to bring you the best,  of, of all these different worlds. I had no idea what first time that there was a first time expert here she is. These are the things that we, you know, we bring them to you so that you can experience something new. Or maybe learn something more or maybe improve a perspective,  get you to think a little more critically than a little more creatively.

[00:55:33] We really appreciate that you stop in and you take the time. To listen and to watch,  and, and we want you to do the best, be the best. If you have any suggestions on subjects that you want us to do more like,  for podcasts, let us know. We’re happy to hear from you. You just messaged us on a anchor or get ahold of us on Java chat, podcast.com.

[00:55:52] that my dear is it. So I want to say a huge thank you for coming and sharing some of your wisdom.  I’m fairly sure we’re probably going to have to have you back because we started on a couple of subjects that were rabbit holes. We just didn’t have enough time to get down. 

[00:56:09] Ann Bernard: [00:56:09] Thank you very much for having me.

[00:56:10] It’s been a, it’s been a pleasure to share some story, some insight and getting to know. 

[00:56:15] Mike: [00:56:15] Wow, absolutely.  thank you. That’s that’s so he’s competent. I appreciate it. Well, You guys know how we like to end? It’s always the same. We love every single one of you. Make sure you stay up. Stay safe, stay healthy.

[00:56:31] From Ann Bernard, and myself, coffee with Mike, ciao for now.

For more information on Java chat visit www.java chat, podcast.com. You’ve been listening to coffee with Mike on Java chat tune in weekly to this podcast. For the next episode, you can also download or subscribe today on your favorite podcast platform. A production of Oasis media group, LLC. Located in Las Vegas.

[00:57:05] Because Nevada copyright 2019, all rights reserved.

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