Padma Gordon- Loving Yourself

Interview with Padma Gordon 1_20_21

Youtube Link

[00:00:27] Mike: [00:00:27] Hey guys. Welcome back to Java chat. It’s coffee with Mike and I’m getting, I’m getting another amazing guest here by the name of Padma Gordon. Joining us today, pod. Well, thanks for coming and having a job, a chat. 

[00:00:40] Padma Gordon: [00:00:40] I’m so happy to be here with you today.

[00:00:42] Mike: [00:00:42] That’s sweet. Hey, so format’s pretty simple. we, we basically, we ask our guests to.

[00:00:49] Introduce themselves. Talk a little bit about themselves and feel free to have some fun talking about themselves and their passions of soreness. the first section is usually about who you are and where you’re from. So give us some history on, who Padma Gordon is and what you do. 

[00:01:03] Padma Gordon: [00:01:03] Okay. Sure. well, if you want a little history, I’m actually from the East coast.

[00:01:09] Okay, great. Well, I’m from the East coast. I grew up in and around New York and which you might hear a little New York and my voice. And I presently and for the last say 20 years have been living in Northern California in the Bay area. Nice. Yeah. Yeah. Gorgeous. It’s gorgeous here today. Yeah. Yeah. There’s a lot to love.

[00:01:34] Yes. Sure. Absolutely. Especially on days like today, my partner went out surfing. 

[00:01:41] Mike: [00:01:41] Oh, jelly, major jelly.

[00:01:42] Padma Gordon: [00:01:42] Wetsuits are us. so what do I want to tell you about myself historically? Well, I’ll tell you present day. I have a teenager and I’m a spiritual counselor and I do, I lead meditations, mindfulness meditations for people around the world actually live through insight timer, and I have a whole slew of meditations up there.

[00:02:11] I have written a book called being together, so I’m an author. Being together, practical wisdom for loving yourself and your partner. Yeah. So it’s really about relationships and the primary relationship yeah. Is with yourself, you know? So what is it? So to talk about me a little personally, how do I cultivate self-love?

[00:02:31] How do I cultivate self-love? Well, meditation spending time outside dancing. I love to dance in my younger years, even though I don’t. I feel like I’m old at all. In my younger years, I 

[00:02:46] Mike: [00:02:46] What 22? Come on.

[00:02:54] Padma Gordon: [00:02:54] Well, when my, yeah, like late twenties, early thirties, I had an African inspired dance company. And so I have done a ton. I, my, one of my passions is dancing and teaching and really what do I do? My work in the world. I do my work in the world because I want to be of service. I want my life to be well used.

[00:03:14] And luckily there are so many moments and so many days where I say, wow, that was a really good use of me. So. 

[00:03:23] Mike: [00:03:23] That’s absolutely cool. And you said he came from the East coast. What part? New York. What part of New York?

[00:03:27] Padma Gordon: [00:03:27] really long Island, long Island, Staten Island, Queens, 

[00:03:34] Mike: [00:03:34] long Island, long Island, long Island.

[00:03:38] I got a lot of friends from back from back East, if you will. a couple of friends from the Bronx, a couple of friends from Queens. That’s it’s an interesting culture. Sure. Your shift. Isn’t it. Moving from that to San Fran. 

[00:03:53] Padma Gordon: [00:03:53] Yeah, it is it’s, it is, it is different. And I have to say that a lot of my friends, my close friends are actually from the East coast.

[00:04:01] I do have dear friends who are California natives. And I have a lot of friends who are really just East coast transplants. The Bay area is full of them. 

[00:04:11] Mike: [00:04:11] Oh, sure. Yeah. We trust me. We’ve got plenty out here. I’m in Vegas. So we have plenty of East coast transplants out here. We’ve actually been getting a migration of Illinoisans coming.

[00:04:21] Yeah, I just happened, you know, that whole thing about when you tell your mind to look for something and all of a sudden it starts finding it for some reason, Illinois is what I’m finding the most of them right now. And I don’t remember talking to anybody about it, but it is what it is. I take it. So you, you said your, your, You’re a spiritual counselor.

[00:04:38] What is that? And how did you, how’d you get into that? 

[00:04:44] Padma Gordon: [00:04:44] well, what does a spiritual counselor do? Spiritual counselor slash relationship counselor, a lot of relationship counseling, spiritual counselor. My role is to, assist you in really coming home to your heart. Being able to rest in yourself, rest in your heart, rest in your being your body, feel at ease in your own skin, and then tend to the things that might be keeping you a little outside yourself, or might feel like obstacles to really being yourself.

[00:05:16] I’m very committed to, to being, and being present and being, and also to be effective in the world and to be happy in the world, you need to be able to be at ease in yourself and feel good about yourself and love yourself. 

[00:05:30] Mike: [00:05:30] So what would be some of the blatant flags that would, would be missed by normal everyday people that are, that would tell you that.

[00:05:40] That needs to happen. Like what are the symptoms? 

[00:05:45] Padma Gordon: [00:05:45] The symptoms are you’re giving. You’re giving yourself a really hard time. Your inner critic is running wild. You’re believing your thoughts and not stopping long enough to check it out because that’s the whole thing with meditation brings you into the present and then the present, you can check something out.

[00:06:04] You can ask yourself, is this true? Or is this not true? On the one hand, if you’re trying to escape, you’re using all different ways that you might to escape, you know, overindulging and anything you could overindulge in. I would say that’s a sign that something is, is a missed. If you always, and I, I use that word, Intentionally, if you, if you just about always put yourself second.

[00:06:34] Yeah. Taking care of yeah. Yep. Take a look and say, Hey, what about me? I matter, too, especially if you’re the head of a household, you’re a parent, you’re the head of a business, whatever it is, you need to really take care of yourself. So those would be some of the options. 

[00:06:51] Mike: [00:06:51] That’s funny that you mentioned those particular kinds of people, because most people would immediately run to.

[00:06:58] The younger generations that are having their issues right now and not realizing that the three types of people and there plenty more just like them, the whole, the head of house, the 

[00:07:10] Padma Gordon: [00:07:10] business leader, if you’re the head of a household or a business owner or a parent parent 

[00:07:17] Mike: [00:07:17] would be there, they’re probably the ones that are the least aware of these flags.

[00:07:27] Because they’re so busy being in the midst of dealing with stuff that there’s no time to think about those things in their mind. And you’re  we, I just had a, we just had a guest on, by the name of, people bace. Who’s got the, Jen, well organization, it’s a, it’s an organization that talks about human connection.

[00:07:52] And one of the things we talked about is what goes on in your own mind and where your mind loves to run. And if, and if you pay too much attention and overthink, which everybody loves to do, it’s so funny. I see so many people out there. If you’re an over-thinker like me, it’s like, why, why do you, why do, why do you, why do you say it like that?

[00:08:14] I mean, why would you, why would you. Why are you giving it premise and honor? Exactly. I mean, you’re, you’re, you’re. Empowering it. You’re empowering. The very thing that’s that’s, that’s disempowering you. 

[00:08:25] Padma Gordon: [00:08:25] Yes, that is, that is the home of, of self-sabotage. These are all different sorts of ways that we sabotage ourselves.

[00:08:34] We think we, we identify with, Oh, I’m really not good at that. Or, or then there’s the should or shouldn’t be doing that, which 

[00:08:44] Mike: [00:08:44] could, should yourself 

[00:08:45] Padma Gordon: [00:08:45] never I’m right with you. That’s, that’s a huge red flag to just pause and say, what am I doing? And the other, the other thing is if, if you’re someone who, If you have a goal or you have an intention for yourself or your life and you’re, and you’re doing things that are not leading you there, it’s kinda like you plug in the GPS.

[00:09:05] You say, I’m going to go say, I’m going to go visit you, Michael. Yeah, I’m going to, I’m going to go to Vegas. I plug in my GPS and I start heading that way. But instead I just turned in other directions. I’m never gonna get there. I’m never going to be able to have lunch with you. 

[00:09:19] Mike: [00:09:19] So there’s no GPS at that point.

[00:09:21] It’s just it’s it’s which way is the wind blowing today? 

[00:09:25] Padma Gordon: [00:09:25] Exactly. And you’re just getting carried away by your thoughts. So checking and saying, if you’re someone who, who doesn’t really have the habit or the practice of checking, Oh, I said, I want this. I said, I want, for instance, a really fun, loving, happy relationship, right?

[00:09:42] That’s the that’s the goal is what I’m doing lining up with it. If I’m giving my partner grief. That is not lined up with the goal. If he’s just disappearing, you know, for hours and hours without letting me know what he’s doing, that’s also not lined up with the goal and our agreements. Yeah. 

[00:10:03] Mike: [00:10:03] I’m glad you mentioned that because I think a lot of people forget.

[00:10:06] You have to make your agreements. I see too many people getting into relationships. Oh, we get along. Oh, it’s cool. We’re just hanging out. no, that, that, that’s going to be a very short term. Short-lived deal because neither one of you really has given a permission to the other for anything, honestly, other than the hangout.

[00:10:30] Hmm. 

[00:10:31]Padma Gordon: [00:10:31] You haven’t given permission and you haven’t shown up and made. A commitment. Cause an agreement is kind of like a, both an incremental commitment. We make an agreement saying in the beginning you make an agreement, you say, okay, we’re exclusive. Yeah. Let’s be exclusive. We’re not going to in the beginning, you’re dating.

[00:10:47] And then you say, Oh, now we’re exclusive. Okay. What does exclusive mean to you? And you really outline that? What does that mean? Yeah. And then you, you honor that you honor that and you communicate with your partner. If, and this also translates to business too. You make agreements at work. We’re going to treat each other in a certain way.

[00:11:06] You make agreements in your home with your family, with your kids, with your dog, you make an agreement that you’re going to feed the dog. You’re going to treat the job kindly. Yep. 

[00:11:18] Mike: [00:11:18] No, you’re not going to abuse the dog or exactly. And that, and that, that also goes along with setting expectations, which is, which is also both business.

[00:11:24] And it’s almost the same. It’s almost saying the same thing just in different parts of life. But the idea is that if you’re not making agreements, you’re really not setting up for. You’re really not setting up for your success as much as your relationship success, because at the end of it, you’re the one that’s going to get hurt.

[00:11:42] And then you’re the one that’s going to end up going, running down the road that your mind loves to run down. Cause it always, we used to call them thought attacks, you know, when you sit there and you go, gee, wouldn’t that be horrible if, and you know, you shouldn’t. But it looks like a cool road to drive down with the Lamborghini.

[00:12:01] Let’s go ahead and 

[00:12:07] Mike: [00:12:04] and you just go tearing down the book and then you get to the bottom and you’re like, Oh my God, this is horrible. What is this? 

[00:12:10] Padma Gordon: [00:12:10] Oh, this is true. Oh, how do I, how do I get out of here? And how did I get here? I’m really interested in how did I get here? Because at any point along the road, you can.

[00:12:20] Press the break to stay with our metaphor here. It’s interestingly enough, 

[00:12:24] Mike: [00:12:24] no, not only parts of the bake. There’s a ton of signs on the way down that road that say back, do not pass slow down. Know it’s your, it’s your, it has to one recognize the signs to take the damn left turn and get off the damn road.

[00:12:40] Yes. And start looking for something better. I mean there’s. Yeah. There are footpaths that are more beautiful than the best way. Well, leads roads in this world. Same thing happens in your head.

[00:12:49] Padma Gordon: [00:12:49] It’s true. That’s really true. I mean, and that’s where presence comes in. You’re talking about being able to be present, pay attention, and then course correct.

[00:13:01] Okay. Can you turn, go back, go back that way because where you’re going is not leading you to your destination. It’s leading you to a destination that you’re going to be unhappy that you. I have arrived 

[00:13:13] Mike: [00:13:13] at, so if you’re running down that road

[00:13:21] and you’ve gotten smart enough to figure out that you’re running down that road, because it does take, it does take a bit of practice to finally recognize, Oh yeah, this isn’t, this isn’t the right street. If you realize that road, how do you get back to self-love in a way that you can stop and go? Like you said, pump the brakes and really just take it in for a second and, and, and say, okay, yeah, this isn’t working.

[00:13:43] What do I, what do I do now? Hmm. Hmm. 

[00:13:48] Padma Gordon: [00:13:48] That’s a great question. I mean, I feel like the first thing, as you said, is recognize what you’re doing and then pause and. Feel your feelings, let yourself settle down, try, try your best. Not to move in a reactive way. That really also doesn’t doesn’t serve, you know, like really it really doesn’t.

[00:14:11] And then you can ask yourself slow down and say, is, is this job, is this relationship, you know, is it, is it evolving me? Because for me, relationships are, best case scenario. They evolve us into. You know, the optimal version of ourselves. And so am I evolving? Am I showing up? Is this bringing out the good parts of me?

[00:14:34] And am I able to tend to the parts that are still kind of rough around the edges? Yeah. You know, I’m, I’m reactive. I’m okay. I’m a little sharp at times, or maybe you’re someone who just hides out in the corner and doesn’t share yourself. If you’re a little bit of a with holder, you know, there’s all 

[00:14:51] these are just different ways of being the different, styles, different sort of emotional relating styles or attachment styles. And so it’s to really, to really come clean with yourself and tell, tell the truth and say, am I up for this? Because you want to be able to be all in. Yeah, you want to be able to be all in, in a way that is nourishing for you.

[00:15:13] You really want to feel, is this feeding me? Am I growing and P S growth? Doesn’t always feel good. It doesn’t have to hurt. And it might stretch you very likely. Yeah, pretty much. 

[00:15:27] Mike: [00:15:27] Yeah. So do you have a, cause I already know how some of my listeners think. Well, that’s great. Settle down. How, how what’s, what’s what’s what’s a tip or trick that could possibly help somebody do that because everything else after I swear, once you’ve settled down, things become so much clearer, but it’s that, that one part that’s the BS for anybody as well.

[00:15:53] How do I stop the noise? 

[00:15:55] Padma Gordon: [00:15:55] Yeah. Well, one thing is, I mean, and this is a very, this is free to. Breathing, you can slow down. Wait, wait, wait. Say that again. Breathing is the Lord. 

[00:16:07] Mike: [00:16:07] You said you use and it’s free.

[00:16:08] Padma Gordon: [00:16:08] It’s free all the time.

[00:16:16] Mike: [00:16:16] I can, I can go outside and do this now. That’s  

[00:16:18] Padma Gordon: [00:16:18] you can, you can, you can go outside, you can sit right there. We can take a deep breath together, right? We’re like, Oh, let’s breathe because everything slows everything down and you can follow your breath out of your head. So this is the trajectory out of your head and into your body.

[00:16:36] And your side of your body is your heart. And you come down out of your head, into your heart, into your body. Yeah. And the body doesn’t lie. The mind is coyote

[00:16:52] but, but the body is like, okay. Yeah, I like this. This, this feels good. Even if I’m a little scared, scared doesn’t necessarily mean. you know, stay outside, make a detour.  So I would say definitely breathing. I would say I’m very somatically body-oriented myself. And so I would say, just stop, shake your body out.

[00:17:17] Just really it’s quite, you know, sometimes we call it a system interrupt. Just want to interrupt. Which where, which way your mind is going, which way your body is going, because you might be, cause it’s, it can happen so fast and it’s, you’ve done it a thousand, 10,000 more than 10,000 times. So you really have to say, Oh, here it is again, here it is again.

[00:17:41] And you recognize the architecture of the habit, pattern, the architecture of the reaction and you feel it. And, and normally when you’re in reaction, Your body is going to clench and contract and get hot and get uncomfortable. So if that’s happening, stop settling down means feel the clenching stop. Oh, I’m clenching.

[00:18:06] Yeah. Well, let me just take some breaths. Let me feel the clenching. It doesn’t mean anything’s wrong. It just means I’m about to go somewhere that I don’t want to go. 

[00:18:14] Mike: [00:18:14] You, you, reminded me of, I can’t remember his name. He is a doctor and he talks about the second brain, which is basically our gut and the connection between our actual mind and our gut and which one is more of a truth teller than the other.

[00:18:33] And that if we’re listening properly, what you just laid out. If we’re listening properly, that second brain will tell us exactly whether, you know, yeah. There’s some nervous times, but it’ll also tell us when we really need to be in defense. And when it’s just a farce. That’s  it, it weird enough. Our guts smarter than our brain is as far as that stuff is concerned, we can be intellectually sound, but when it comes to figuring out.

[00:18:58] We’ll overthink it, but we listen to our gut. We’ll know what’s what’s real. And what’s not for the most part. 

[00:19:03] Padma Gordon: [00:19:03] I think that’s well put. Yeah. And overthinking is very tiring. You can’t take your out your life. You can’t figure it out. You can use. Your intelligence, your intellect in a, in a really focused way.

[00:19:21] And if you’re striving and you’re grasping at straws and you’re in, in a cycle of, I don’t know, well, should I shouldn’t I, is this right? Is this wrong? That’s called doubt. If you’re in doubt, that’s also a great time to just pause.

[00:19:32] Mike: [00:19:32] I think, I think a lot of people, it would serve a lot of people, especially today, to do that.

[00:19:41] Cause honestly, I think there are a lot of people that are not being honest. With themselves with what’s really going on in themselves because they’ve become so externally focused that everything that they pursue is not necessarily an alternate altruistic, they think it is, but for some strange reason, and, and, and, and I’m talking about the condition of the world, not just like we live in the U S we’re already having our own issues, but the condition of the world in general, While people want to be altruistic about things.

[00:20:17] I think they’re missing certain things. At least this is what I’m seeing. and I think Jack, we’re going to take a short break and I won’t come back and talk about that. Usually we talk about inspiration, motivation, but there’s some other stuff like practice of presence, mindfulness, and stuff I want to get into with you.

[00:20:30] So, we’ll take a short 30 second break. You guys we’ll be right back and we’re gonna, we’re gonna go dig a little deeper with potluck

***

and we’re back here at Java chat coffee with Mike sitting here with Padma Gordon, talking about. Talking about some pretty powerful stuff here. We’re, we’re, we’ve been discussing about getting, getting inside, calming down, settling down as you put it and really focusing on self and, and which leads to the next part of it, which is becoming present.

[00:20:58] And I think a lot of people miss, what being present and practicing mindfulness is, and I’ve had a couple of other guests that have explained it as well. So I, I definitely want your, your perspective and your line of thought as to how that works and how it should work, because once you’ve, once you have settled down, that doesn’t necessarily mean you’ve become present.

[00:21:18] You just settled down. You still have to go through the rest of the process. So how does that, how does that look from a standpoint of, alright, I’m settled down. now what,

[00:21:31] Padma Gordon: [00:21:31] well, I settled down and now I turn my attention toward myself. I stop asking all the questions and wondering about you and why you did this and how come it was like that. I turned my attention toward myself. And for me, one of the best ways of becoming really present is to actually turn toward. The physical experience that’s occurring in this moment, for instance, and this is a really incredible tool.

[00:21:59] So simple, also free. 

[00:22:02] Mike: [00:22:02] What is it with your free giveaways, man? How do you, how do you make a living? Goodness. 

[00:22:06] Padma Gordon: [00:22:06] Well, you need to practice and maybe some coaching on how to, Oh, that’s now I see. 

[00:22:11] Mike: [00:22:11] Okay. And accountability too. I got you. All 

[00:22:15]Padma Gordon: [00:22:15] yeah. And structures and practices. One practice that you can do is just notice.

[00:22:21] Oh, say I just turned to her in my hand and I noticed, Oh, my fingers are cold. And I just sit with that. Okay. My fingers are cold. That is happening in the present moment. I’m not thinking about why are they cold and how can I warm them up and do I need it? 

[00:22:40] Mike: [00:22:40] So that was the first thought that came into my hands.

[00:22:41] Oh, you should probably put something on them. Get them warmed up. So I, I missed it. 

[00:22:46] Padma Gordon: [00:22:46] Yeah, because the mind wants to immediately solve the problem. Just solve the problem, but there’s something to simply noticing it before. Notice it before you take an action, you have to learn to sit with what is occurring.

[00:23:02] That is the key to, creating flow, creating harmony, to tapping into your inner genius. Also, if you have an idea right away, well, you should do this. You’re going to miss what comes in the empty space. Well comes in. The empty space is intelligence, deep intelligence intelligence that just sort of like sits down from the quantum.

[00:23:30] Okay. This is what’s needed and it may be okay, go, go warm them up. You know, go do this. Or it may be actually it’s okay to sit with fingers that are a little cold. And that’s the same way that you’ve been learn to sit with someone saying something you don’t like it. And you’re able to just sit and listen and receive, listen, receive what’s being said, it doesn’t matter if you agree with it or disagree with that, you might have the perfect solution.

[00:24:00] You might have the perfect fix. And if you just interject it, cut them off. Whether it’s in a personal situation or work situation, they’re not going to even listen to you. So presence has everything to do with sitting with yourself, inside yourself and then waiting because you will recognize the right timing.

[00:24:22] They’ll say, Oh, now, now there’s an opening, but first you have to sit and receive yourself. And when you can do this inside yourself, then you can also do it with somebody else. They’re coming at you with whatever. And you can just sit and listen. I practice this with my teenage daughter. 

[00:24:41] Mike: [00:24:41] Oh yeah. I do it with my, my boy too.

[00:24:44] Padma Gordon: [00:24:44] Yeah. Sometimes successfully. Not always sometimes. 

[00:24:47] Mike: [00:24:47] Oh, I didn’t, I didn’t say I was a pro at it. I just, I, I try, I have tried in some cases to explain to him why it is that sometimes I will answer, or that I won’t commit to certain things. Like when we were younger, he’d be like, can we go do this? I’d be like, we’ll see.

[00:25:06] And he find the ass one day. He says, why do you keep saying, we’ll see, is it because if I make a promise to you that I can’t keep I’ve broken my word, I’m not going to do that to you. Yeah. That’s awesome. Do you understand that? He goes, yeah. I said, I know that doesn’t sound the greatest and I know that’s not, that’s not exactly, something you’d like to hear, but it’s what I have to work with considering everything that’s going on around us.

[00:25:29] Padma Gordon: [00:25:29] Absolutely. I do the same thing. 

[00:25:32] Mike: [00:25:32] It’s just being honest with them.

[00:25:33] Padma Gordon: [00:25:33] It’s being honest. And it’s knowing that I exactly, I want to keep my word and also I will assess one on Saturday when you want to go do this. Is that actually the right thing to do? Today’s that what’s needed. So we’re teaching our kids that.

[00:25:50] And the other thing I want to say about presence is it takes your you’re coming out of your thoughts. You’re sifting down. To listen at a very deep level to your intuition, to those whispers, those whispers of the universe that can come out or those, that solution that you couldn’t have figured out will actually come in its own time.

[00:26:17] If you wait, if you get present, if you set it on the shelf, perseverating on things is, is unadvisable. 

[00:26:25] Mike: [00:26:25] Do you remember the first time that that actually worked for you? 

[00:26:28] Padma Gordon: [00:26:28] Wow, that’s a great question. 

[00:26:30] Mike: [00:26:30] cause I, I, I, I’m sitting here thinking, because I’m sure both of us have done it by now. Yes. A few times.

[00:26:38] Yes. But the first time I’m always, I’m always interested to know what was the first time like, because. It’s nothing that you experienced before. So 

[00:26:50] Padma Gordon: [00:26:50] first time in chronology, I don’t actually really know. And what I can say, and I’m not trying to squirm away from them. No, no, no, no, not everybody remembers.

[00:26:59] Mike: [00:26:59] I don’t.

[00:27:01] I just remember what we 

[00:27:02] Padma Gordon: [00:27:02] now is like exactly. And I want to say that when you come into the present moment, that is the first time that you have ever responded. In this way, in this moment to this person and, and you can slow down because if you’re in the bank, you, if you’re in the future, you know, you’re just projecting.

[00:27:22] If you’re in the past, you’re, you’re hauling yesterday’s news into the room and in the present, you are actually experiencing. This for the very first time, which is a great thing to do with, you know, a partner, husband, wife, child, business associate, because then you’ll see them freshly. That’s the possibility I look across and I don’t bring in a, yeah, you’re not very good at that.

[00:27:45] And maybe you’re going to say this and you don’t, you know, all these judgments and whatever. Instead I see you. And I say, Oh, Who are you today? Who are you today? And I actually make room for that. And if you’re not present and you’re projecting yesterday’s baggage into now, you’re missing it. 

[00:28:05] Mike: [00:28:05] I used to work in, not venture capital angel investment capital, as a, as a investment manager, I was the guy that went out and looked for deals for that, for the crew, for the group.

[00:28:16] And one of the people that we worked with, Yeah, the challenges. And I remember one day just coming in and going, you know what? I’m not going to come in with any bias. I’m just going to go in with their stuff to do there’s work, to be done, blah, blah, blah. I’m just gonna come in and let’s see what happens.

[00:28:33] And something had changed. And I don’t remember exactly what the situation was, but something had changed and I came in and I gave them, you know, a good greeting with no with no. Nothing behind it, so to speak. Cause you know, when you have those biases, you walk in your greetings, have power behind them.

[00:28:53] People can feel it. Absolutely. so that day I came in without that and said, let’s see what happens and continued that over the course of a few weeks, as person completely switched, like whatever they were doing to whatever they were doing to sabotage themselves before they stopped. And I noticed it and I pulled him aside and said, Hey, what’s going on?

[00:29:18] This? What do you mean? This is last few weeks. You’ve been on fire. What’s what are you doing? What do you just find a new supplement or something? You take a pre-workout before you get here, what’s the deal. And they love to go. No, I just, I just want to, I just want to do okay. I just want to do well. I was like, that’s all.

[00:29:35] Let me let you get back to work. I’ll talk to you a bit. Yeah. 

[00:29:38] Padma Gordon: [00:29:38] Great. Yeah. Yeah. So that’s such a good example of how you shifted. You shifted, you were in the present, you were actually open to them. You weren’t sitting, you weren’t bringing your biases to the table. 

[00:29:50] Mike: [00:29:50] Trust me. I had to catch myself with that.

[00:29:53] Padma Gordon: [00:29:53] We all, and it really takes, takes some discipline because the other side and thing that, that happens when you’re present is you have the ability to not say something and to not bring your. Your garbage, your trash, 

[00:30:11] Mike: [00:30:11] you remove, you removed the toll booth on the highway. I was just thinking about this, like, cause, cause that takes a toll 

[00:30:18] Padma Gordon: [00:30:18] on people. It does such a toll. 

[00:30:21] Mike: [00:30:21] You remove that toll and all of a sudden it becomes a freeway, not a highway, not a toll way. That’s  all  and that one down. Wait a second. Nobody. I mean, it makes sense though, right? I mean, if, if you’re, if you are practicing presence, as you’re describing. There are no tolls.

[00:30:41] There’s nothing to pay. There’s nothing to prove really. I mean, you’re not, you have nothing to prove to them. They have nothing to prove to you. There’s just things that need to be done. And at a point of, at a point of being present, you know, I have two people looking for that connection to quantum. The source of whatever it is.

[00:31:04] And I would think that it probably be a little more, it’d be a little easier for others around that to start feeling a little more open to sharing creative ideas. Hey, what about this? What do you think about this? Whether it’s good or not is irrelevant, 

[00:31:23] Padma Gordon: [00:31:23] but you’ve created by being present. You’ve made room because there’s room inside of you, they’re actually reacting to or responding to Oh, there’s space for me to bring my voice in there’s space for me to show up as myself, I was just working with somebody yesterday, about standing in his value.

[00:31:47] Just like you buy when you’re present, you make your you’re standing in your value. Also you’re open you’re you’re wide open and your Intel, all of your intelligences are on board. Your mind, your gut, your heart, it’s all, it’s all there. And all your experience that you bring to the table and in a particular arena, it’s all there.

[00:32:08] Yep. It just can come through your, I like that analogy of the tolls.

[00:32:20] Mike: [00:32:20]  It’s like the tolls are your mind’s objections and your projections and your stories and all that stuff and all the pre-programming crap that you’ve had on all your life, all that time. 

[00:32:23] Padma Gordon: [00:32:23] Exactly. And it takes practice. I just want to say the pre-programming crap or stuff that you’ve had your whole life.

[00:32:30] It’s gonna keep, it’s gonna come. And you just have to notice, Oh, that’s what that is. And I am not enslaved to that. I don’t have to follow that. 

[00:32:40] Mike: [00:32:40] Yeah. That brings up a good question. Cause that, that just triggered. and that’s actually one of your questions when people are in that mode, they’re stuck.

[00:32:50] That’s  how do you get unstuck? I mean, I know, I know you’ve been talking about being present in stuff, but what’s a way to just like. I’m in this spot. I have this pre-programming: how do I break the shit? 

[00:33:05] Padma Gordon: [00:33:05] Well, how you break up your programming is by noticing that you’re programmed, you got to first realize, Oh, this is a program you have to decide.

[00:33:16] Well, first of all, you have to realize that actually. You’re probably unhappy. That’s 

[00:33:20] Mike: [00:33:20] probably a new program. The best. Yeah. You’re  

[00:33:22] Padma Gordon: [00:33:22] yeah. Would you like, I’m not totally happy. I must. And then, and then you can have the thought, Oh, I’m in my programming. I’m in my conditioning and it’s actually, I’m not free.

[00:33:36] Yeah. Here. I’m not free to respond. I’m not free to like, be my whole self because I think I should be this part and I should be this way and it should sound like this and that’s all just. You know, programming, right?  So first you have to just to realize that you want something else and then you, and then you have to know what is it?

[00:33:54] This is my, one of my favorite questions. What is it that you really want? What is it that you really want? That’s the foundational question that will lead you to happiness. And then I would say enlist help. If you want to get momentum on something. Get a coach, get a therapist, join a group, whatever it is that will work for you.

[00:34:15] But really if you want to get momentum, get support. 

[00:34:20] Mike: [00:34:20] I think that’s just probably the so many people misunderstand. And I think it’s because some of the unfortunate. Charlatans that have played in the coaching realm. They misunderstand what the value of a coach or a therapist or a group really can provide providing they have the right structure set up.

[00:34:42] and the right, the right practices. would you say are like some of the more practical structures that somebody can actually set up to, to get them aligned with their life path, what they’re doing and how that plays. 

[00:34:57] Padma Gordon: [00:34:57] well, what are the practical structures? I I’m a big fan of goals and intentions.

[00:35:04] So first be really clear. What are your goals? What are the intentions? Right? It goes back to your, what do you want? What do you really, what do you want? And then, then write them down. Really? Write them down. Stick on my, I mean, you might’ve heard this before, stick them on your wall and read them. And just, and just really line up.

[00:35:20] And when I’m saying they’re right there. Awesome. so when, and when you read them actually pause and feel, Oh, this is what I want. This is really it. And then you can take it a step further. I did this, a meditation on this this morning and be grateful for it in advance. Be grateful for it in advance. Be grateful for what’s happening and be grateful for what you’re calling in because the body doesn’t know the difference.

[00:35:48] And Dr. Joe Dispenza talks about this and you know, you really, you do, you want to really call it in by feeling it, feeling your body is like, Oh, I have this new XYZ. Oh, fabulous. I’m loving this. Oh, it’s so comfortable. You want to car say whatever? Oh, I love the feeling of this Lamborghini to go back to the moment to moment.

[00:36:12] Let’s be clear. 

[00:36:13] Mike: [00:36:13] I don’t want a Lamborghini. 

[00:36:16] Padma Gordon: [00:36:16] Where would you drive a Lamborghini? 

[00:36:19] Mike: [00:36:19] I’ll take a skateboard. Dumble, been a speech any day. I’ve done that. I’m not that guy. 

[00:36:23] Padma Gordon: [00:36:23] Me neither, neither. I’m not that gal. So I would, I would get really clear. I would line up with your intentions. I would practice gratitude and I will I’ll say it.

[00:36:32] I would really, if you want to get your life on track, you want to know am I, you want to really, feed self-love self-love, which is different from self-indulgence  self love. What are the loving things? And practice what it is you want. And I, and also, you know, fake it till you make it, because if you practice something enough times, even though you’re, you’re stretching to be in your authenticity, it’s not quite authentic.

[00:37:00] Like, I really want to be this way, but I’m not really there. Eventually you become that. Because you’ve practiced it so many times what you practice becomes, your default becomes who you are. So practice who you living as, who you want to be, practice, being the person at work in your family, that you want to be really practice it intentionally consciously daily.

[00:37:26] Mike: [00:37:26] That makes absolute sense. That’s pretty cool, guys. We’re going to take one more 32nd break and we’ll come back. We’re going to talk a little bit more about what’s next. What else is Padma doing and what she might be doing next? Because we all heard she wrote a book. So maybe there’s another one in the works back in 30 seconds.

***

[00:37:42] We’re back Java chat sitting here with Padma Gorton, talking about the practice of presence. you, I think you used a term called embodied presence. Is there something different about that or is it, is it just an enhancement to the actual, what we’ve been talking about this whole time? 

[00:37:58] Padma Gordon: [00:37:58] I think it’s an enhancement or a variation.

[00:38:01] I mean, really embodied presence means. I’m here. I noticing myself, I’m noticing my thoughts. I’m not following them. Notice I’m noticing my, my sensations and I’m really here because it’s so nourishing. I mean, really what we want as human beings is to be seen and heard. And the only way to feel heard is if the other person is present, They’re not diddling on their phone.

[00:38:27] They’re not doing five other things.

[00:38:29] Mike: [00:38:29] Okay. That’s another, that’s a whole nother podcast. 

[00:38:34] Padma Gordon: [00:38:34] That’s true. They’re not being distracted in any way that they might be distracted. They actually just say, Oh, I’m right here. Which is what I offer with my clients. You know? That’s one of, one of my offerings that I am offering.

[00:38:49] Thank you. Yeah. Practice being present and be around other people who are present because that will, it will draw it out of you 

[00:38:58] Mike: [00:38:58] from your perspective, being that, what do you see in other people when they finally figure out that that’s, what’s going on? Their reaction, like, cause I don’t, I know everybody’s different, but I mean the general reaction to somebody actually seeing someone else really being that embody presence.

[00:39:16] What do you see? 

[00:39:18] Padma Gordon: [00:39:18] Oh, I can see so many things. 

[00:39:20] Mike: [00:39:20] Oh, I know 

[00:39:22] Padma Gordon: [00:39:22] people, sometimes people are moved to tears, like tears of joy. It’s kind of a sense of relief. Oh, someone’s here. Yeah. it conveys a, a feeling of deep acceptance when someone is really present with us. Oh, I’m excepted. And then all those parts that have been hiding out and feeling not good enough and where the, who the inner critic has been, you know, flagellating, they, they can, they they’re welcomed.

[00:39:55] It actually invites an experience. 

[00:39:59] Mike: [00:39:59] I got to just give. Major props to that whole thing. That is flagellated. I was just like, yep. That’s exactly what it does. 

[00:40:08] Padma Gordon: [00:40:08] It’s painful. We we’re like shredding ourselves and then I’m in worst case scenario each other. So in presence, there’s room there’s room and we’re not taking things personally.

[00:40:20] And so somebody can say whatever they’re going to say, because they feel. They recognize that if say I’m sitting with them and it really presents, this is, this is open-hearted loving presence. Nonjudgmental. It’s not about me. I’m not, I’m not tripping on it. And so then you, as the person across from me can just be yourself.

[00:40:41] It gives, it gives permission. Like we give ourselves permission to be ourselves by being ourselves in a relaxed open-hearted way. Which means I have to stop and slow way down in our busy, busy world, the slow way down 

[00:41:01] Mike: [00:41:01] I have. So this question is going to relate more to the entrepreneurs that have businesses or the business owners, because in, in solid personal relationships, that’s amazing in the business world that can become dangerous.

[00:41:19] How does one. Affect the same, the same, situation or the same outcome without overshooting on, on. The personal side of things. Do you understand what I’m saying? Cause there’s there there’s a, there’s a, there’s a level of business relationship that no, no leader can really cross because then it becomes too personal and there is a lack of respect at that point for four leaders versus subordinates.

[00:41:47] How does, how does one transcend that still be present, still be there without it becoming too much. 

[00:41:56] Padma Gordon: [00:41:56] Well, I think that in, in being present than we are in rapport, and then we know what, what to say and what not to say. And also as a leader, say, if you’re head of your company, you want to being present is also a way of showing respect and you want to create, I’m imagining to be successful.

[00:42:18] You create a culture of mutual respect. I mean people when they feel respected, when they feel appreciated, when they are encouraged, they will perform better. You want to have a successful business show up and really notice what’s going on. Notice what your employees. Need and want notice where they’re slacking and what’s, you know how to bring them back on task.

[00:42:46] So I think that in PR presence works, I mean, presence works, period, and you’ll, you’ll be able to know, Oh, you can cause then you can feel it. Cause if you’re present, you can actually sense. Oh, just I’m on, I’m on the edge here. I’m about to say something, do something that’s gonna actually, create an imbalance, creative, creative, a warble in our, in our professional relationship in R and R.

[00:43:12] I’m your boss. You’re my subordinate. Dynamic and inside of that, there’s still respect. There’s respect. There’s listening. I mean, I just have to say that I know people that are working in corporate situations. it’s not always possible to have an honest conversation sometimes really important conversations happen over the group over the chat, which to me is unbelievable that you would miss a moment.

[00:43:40] It happens yesterday to someone I know. It’s it’s unbelievable. It’s so, unsatisfying, so make the time, make it. So I make the time to actually have a conversation. Yeah. Set a time limit. Cause I know you’re busy, but make the time to have a face-to-face conversation or at least a voice to voice conversation.

[00:44:00] Mike: [00:44:00] That was one of, so I teach business etiquette quietly, which discusses this very thing. It’s like techno etiquette. Is technology supports business relationships. It does not drive them. I like that. And if you can’t make the time to stand up and walk your butt from your desk to wherever you need to get to, to that person, to have that conversation, just because you think it’s going to be a hard conversation, you’ve completely destroyed the relationship.

[00:44:29] It’s no longer present. You’re you’re out of alignment, both with yourself and with the person that you’re trying to make things work with. And I know that sounds extreme, but if you think about it, it’s absolutely true because text is cold. 

[00:44:43] Padma Gordon: [00:44:43] Yeah, it’s very hard to read the emotions or the nuance context.

[00:44:49] There’s no context, no context and emails too, even though you can tell a little more you’re descriptive, but really though you need to hear someone’s voice. So at the very least hop on a phone call, hop on a zoom call, you can see them face to face even better. And I want to say my, if you have to have a hard conversation with somebody.

[00:45:07] That is even more important to have a hard conversation with someone where you’re making a person to person connection. Yep. And also where you, if you are the one delivering the bad news as it were, that you are really because presence inside of being present, you’re also regulated. You’re calm. You can think you’re not in reaction.

[00:45:34] You can hear. What they have to say, that might be a little difficult for you, but you, you have room for it again, with a boundary. I have, you know, 20 minutes for this conversation. They don’t get to go on and on and it’s not a yelling match and it’s not a blame game. 

[00:45:50] Mike: [00:45:50] Exactly. Yeah. That’s the other thing is, again, it goes back to that setting expectations thing.

[00:45:54] Before we have this conversation, I want it clear, this is what I’m after, and I need to know what you are after so that we can try to figure out where our common goal is here. And again, this is all part of the training that we do. If you’re, if your intent is to come out to a positive outcome, then that’s what you should be getting is a positive outcome.

[00:46:15] If one side is not intending on that, you will not come out with that positive outcome. I don’t care how much your intake has to be both sides and both sides have to be again, present within themselves as much as they are present for the other person. So, I mean, it’s just, I’m just going back to that.

[00:46:30] Speaking to everything that we’ve taught and been talking about this whole, this whole time is this practice of presence is, is extremely important. Even more so in business because it’s not just the company and the client, it’s also the internals workings of the company, right? Every, every soul inside that, that building or inside that structure, since everybody’s virtual now is important in some way we are.

[00:46:55] And if, if you give, if you give proper respect to that, you’ll not only get it back, but the effectiveness of the organization, like you said, continues growing. 

[00:47:07] Padma Gordon: [00:47:07] That’s  people work really well when they feel respected and happy and where they’re listened to. And I absolutely agree if, if you are wanting you, you really want to set your expectation or clarify your outcome.

[00:47:24] What do I want out of this conversation? What do you want out of this conversation? Great. Now we know we’re lined up and yeah, and it’s, it’s an opportunity to really listen. And just slow. I cannot emphasize enough how important it is to slow down, slow down because you know, you’re, you’re in business.

[00:47:44] You’re successful. Your mind works fast, slow down, pay attention.

[00:47:51] Mike: [00:47:51]  Isn’t it interesting how fast our minds actually work. 

[00:47:54] Padma Gordon: [00:47:54] They work really fast. 

[00:47:55] Mike: [00:47:55] They work extremely fast and with the new generations coming up, they’re thinking faster than you and I are. We were, I was just having this discussion, with one of our interns that the new generation Z, you got about eight seconds to get their attention with us.

[00:48:12] You had 15 to 20, their filters are so high that if you don’t catch them in the first two seconds, bye. Good luck. That’s incredible. It’s nuts. so you are currently a practicing counselor, correct? Yes. 

[00:48:31] Padma Gordon: [00:48:31] related to relationship individual. I’m also, so, so sorry, you were saying, what is, what is next?

[00:48:40] Mike: [00:48:39] What’s next? What’s next? 

[00:48:41] Padma Gordon: [00:48:41] Well, I’m still, I’m riding the wave of, my book being together and 

[00:48:49] Mike: [00:48:49] yeah, man, I love it. I’m from Hawaii. So don’t, don’t damn that I’m not bashing on ya. 

[00:48:57] Padma Gordon: [00:48:57] I figured the surf lingo would be resonant. I am in process. I’ve gone through the first couple of rounds of, revisions from my, for the audio book version.

[00:49:10] So soon you’ll be able to get being together on audible. I would say within, by the end of the first quarter is my. It’s my vision.

[00:49:17] Mike: [00:49:17] You you’ll need to let us know so we can go ahead and promote it in our social. We’d be happy to promote that audible. And I can tell you, that’s probably the one I’m going to grab.

[00:49:25] Cause I’m an audible guy. Yeah, 

[00:49:26] Padma Gordon: [00:49:26] Audible’s great. I hadn’t started listening to so many audio books until I was recording my own. Cause I said, I really need to listen and see what I like and see what works. And obviously, well, for me, obviously what works is when people sound natural, you sound like themselves and not trying too hard.

[00:49:42] so the audio book is coming out and I’m also working on a kind of companion workbook that goes along with this. And that’ll have all the practices or not all, but a lot of different practices and I’ll have the, a lot of stuff we’ve talked about will, we’ll be in there and it’s actually in the book and various ways shapes and forms, but, you know, how to really.

[00:50:09] Practice presence. Oh, that’s what I was going to say before. I’m going to digress because you like digression,  is just a little bit, just a little bit. Yeah. Oh, so what we’ve been talking about being present, first of all, takes a lot of practice being present with yourself is one thing then, and this is something I work with people on a lot.

[00:50:32] Being present with yourself, but then be staying present with yourself as, and get the, as, as I’m relating to you right now, Mike, I don’t leave myself. I don’t abandon myself and leave myself in the hallway back there. I’m in myself. And I’m also aware of you and listening to you. And this, my friends who are listening is a very high level skill.

[00:50:56] It is a very high level skill. They do not teach it in school. No, this would be a great skill that kids could learn in school all the way from preschool, kindergarten only recently

[00:51:06] Mike: [00:51:06]. And it, and it’s, and it was a, it was a feature on a news story. They only recently introduced meditation in one of the elementary grades in, in one of the inner city schools.

[00:51:20] and it, and it completely changed the dynamic of the class. Totally. And I don’t know why they don’t introduce meditation as a part of education, you know, base education, if you will. I get that. They have to learn what they need to learn, but. They don’t learn financial literacy anywhere. 

[00:51:38] Padma Gordon: [00:51:38] Right? We we’re going to rewrite the core curriculum.

[00:51:43] We need, we need to do mindfulness financial literacy, 

[00:51:48] Mike: [00:51:48] because these are the things that would allow a child to become the well-rounded student that they need to become and to become a good citizen that can actually contribute to society. Because at that point, you’re now talking about mindful people, not just a bunch of mindless people.

[00:52:05] Running around being drones, which is exactly what we have a lot of right now. People like you are helping to change that. So thank you for what you’re doing. You’re welcome. And we need about 50,000 more of you, but it’s, it’s I think the, I think that, by the way, do you have any like, groups or like membership groups where people can come in and do meditations or stuff like that?

[00:52:27] Padma Gordon: [00:52:27] well I have meditations on insight timer and I, and you can become. It’s an app. Okay. Yep. It’s a free app, but they have a subscription. I am, you know, considering I think that’s a great idea. I’m working also on an online course that will have, and it’ll have some live elements and it’ll also have recorded segments and practices and it will be a training and implementation.

[00:52:50] It won’t just be a course.  It’ll be like, if you want to live differently. Yeah. You can do this. 

[00:52:56] Mike: [00:52:56] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Absolutely. That’s awesome. So we’ll want to know about that too, obviously. do you, do, are you, are you on the normal social platforms 

[00:53:04] Padma Gordon: [00:53:04] as well on the normal social platforms? 

[00:53:07] Mike: [00:53:07] We can find you on FB, Twitter, LinkedIn, that kind of deal.

[00:53:11] Padma Gordon: [00:53:11] Awesome. I’m not super active on Twitter, but all the rest of them I’m there. You can just look me up. Hotspot Gordon. Yeah. 

[00:53:18] Mike: [00:53:18] Okay, great. Absolutely. All right guys, you know how this works? All of the, all of these links that we’re talking about, they’ll all be below. when the, when the audio link comes out, we’ll help promote it on social.

[00:53:26] So keep an eye on our Instagram and our Twitter. Cause you know, that’s where we put everything. what would be one, one solid piece of advice considering everything that’s going on right now? What would be one good, solid piece of advice you can, you can offer to any of our listeners that might help them figure out how to deal with all of this storm that’s going on.

[00:53:47] Padma Gordon: [00:53:47] The single most important thing you can do is spend some time. Sitting quietly every day, call it meditation, call it mindfulness, call it prayer, call it whatever you want. Call it. Looking inside. Spend some time because in this world right now, things are so, topsy turvy, it’s very chaotic and you want to have a place, a reference point, an internal reference point of steadiness.

[00:54:19] Of trustworthiness because what’s on this news or that news, or who’s saying what we don’t, it’s hard to know what to trust exactly. And what you can trust. What you can trust is you can line up with yourself and then be discerning about whether you do this or do that, or read this or read that, or it’s all of that stuff.

[00:54:38] So cultivate a space of, yeah. And an inner sanctuary, an inner sanctuary from, with all, from which all your relationships, all your business decisions, all of your actions can, can come forth. Let, let yourself come from a place of connection and quiet. And if you, if you’re skipping this, yeah. I don’t know how you’re keeping how you’re navigating right now.

[00:55:04] They’re not. It’s too much. Yeah. Too much. You’re scrambling your nervous system is just getting bombarded by what’s going on in the larger world media and also just, you know, the field as it were. So you want to be like, okay, I’m coming back to myself. Yeah. That thing that happened, that just crossed my screen.

[00:55:25] Really bizarre. Really upsetting. Yeah. You know, pandemic goes on, et cetera, et cetera. Okay. Let me come back to myself. Let me come back to myself. So really spend time sitting quietly, even if it’s just five there’s two ways you can do it. Five minutes a day, say in the morning, and this is minimum and you’re just starting do five minutes a day.

[00:55:46] Sit quietly. You can use the timer on your app. You can go to insight timer there, 70, 75,000 meditations there I’m there by me. Yep. or you can also set an alarm on your phone to go off, say three times a day and then close your eyes. Close your eyes. Do what we’ve been taught. Well, Mike and I’ve been talking about here, come back to yourself, come home to yourself.

[00:56:12] Feel your body. You might realize, Oh, I haven’t drunk any. Water coffee all day. I need some, Oh, I need to stretch. Okay. Oh, I need to go put my face in the sun. So cultivate, cultivate that inner space. It will, it will serve you and guide you. 

[00:56:33] Mike: [00:56:33] Absolutely. I agree. Totally. I, it’s kind of funny that, in the beginning, when I, when you started.

[00:56:40] This is, this is, this is how well this podcast is connected. The two of us, you said topsy turvy. That was exactly what I was thinking when you were right, right,  like, literally right before you said it, this world is topsy-turvy and he said, topsy turvy. And I was like, okay, that’s that’s, that’s uncanny and wonderful at the same time.

[00:56:56] It’s when you and guys, this can happen for anybody. This is not, this is not, I’m no more in tune with the universe than the next human. I just have that. Yeah. We just happened to notice things and we happened to notice things at weird times, some, some days, and some days we notice them at the right time, but because we make the time to notice, it becomes a little easier, with all the noise that’s been going on and all the people on, on.

[00:57:29] Every corner screaming, the world’s coming to an end, which they did numerous times all the way back into the seventies and sixties. those of us that come back to ourselves, we look at mingle. There’s going to be some changes, but the world’s not coming to an end. It’s not how that works. We’re going to be fine.

[00:57:46] Everything will be just fine. Nothing’s really, nothing’s really going to change for those of us that are at work. Nothing’s really going to change for any of us that are really doing anything of worth. And, and here’s the thing you’re all worth. Yeah. So as long you’re all worth. And as long as you remember that the world settles down pretty quick.

[00:58:09] Hmm. It really does. It does so cool. We had a couple of things that we didn’t really get into the relationship things. And, and I think we should have you come back and talk more about that stuff. If you don’t mind, I’m sure I’d be happy to. Yeah. I think that’s relationships are a big deal, especially like right now with the, with the new generations and I’m sure there are a few people that are trying to navigate some stuff.

[00:58:33] I, I can tell you. Seeing some of the stuff that goes on in social media, I’m like, good Lord. How’d you get with that one? and, and, and not, not in a judgemental way of one being bad for the other, but it’s like, did neither of you see that this wasn’t going to work? How did you not see these things? How did you not see the flags?

[00:58:48] But, you know, I mean kind of yeah. If that’s, what, if that’s what it was anyway, Another time, another topic for another time. so guys remember that all of the links that we’ve mentioned before, for that she has presently right now available will be down in the comments section. If you’re watching us on YouTube, thank you and make sure you subscribe and hit the bell.

[00:59:08] So every time we bring another awesome guest like this on, you know, it’ll tell you right out the gate, Hey, there’s a new one up on Java chat. Go check them out. If you’re listening on any one of the 13 platforms that we’re on, on podcasts. Download it subscribe, whatever, whatever you want to do, but make sure you take one or two of these with you and listen to it as you’re, as you’re on the road or maybe at work or something like that, wherever you’re allowed to listen to it.

[00:59:31] and, and this one, I would say, if you can take it into a quiet place, take this one into a quiet space to go listen to it for awhile. Cause I can guarantee you right after we shut off, you’re going to hear nothing but silence and that’d be a perfect time for you to try it. and then if you’re listening to us on anchor.fm, of course, that’s our home base.

[00:59:51] We thank you. any support that you want to show there every little bit helps, keeps our podcasts growing and growing. We really appreciate every one of you making time to come and listen to these. I mean, I think we’re, I think we’re at about a hundred episodes so far, and I keep finding great people like Padma here.

[01:00:12] you know, just, and if you know anybody else that you guys think ought to be here sharing this kind of stuff, sharing these insights and these passions and things. Hit us up. Let us know, tell us in the comments, send us an email. We’ll be happy to yeah. To reach out to them and hopefully bring them on.

[01:00:26] We’ve had amazing guests. I haven’t had a single guest where it was like, eh, I haven’t had one yet. And I don’t think I’m going to have one. I honestly don’t see that happening. cause we keep getting it connected with wonderful people, but take what you’ve heard and put some practice on. And just know that both Padman myself and we want you to have the best.

[01:00:54] We wish you the best. And it’s one of the reasons why we always sign off the way that we do, you know, stay up, stay safe, stay healthy, stay healthy and live. We, it’s not just a say, we mean it. You know? So dig into that and go find that space to go be present with yourself. Thank you again so much for hanging out with me.

[01:01:14] I really appreciate your, your, your presence. And your company and your conversation and your passion. It’s been, it’s been awesome. 

[01:01:22] Padma Gordon: [01:01:22] Oh, thank you, Mike. Yeah, it was super awesome. Super fun. And I appreciate you. And this podcast and me, it served may it serve deeply. We’ll find. 

[01:01:35] Mike: [01:01:35] I think they will. I think they will.

[01:01:37] There’s a lot of gold in this one. So by all means. All right guys. Well, that’s it for us. We’re going to sign off again. We love you. Keep rocking. Keep rolling. I’ll say it again. Stay up, stay safe, stay healthy for Padma Gordon and myself coffee with Mike. Chow for now.

For more information on Java chat visit www.java chat, podcast.com. You’ve been listening to coffee with Mike on Java chat tune in weekly to this podcast. For the next episode, you can also download or subscribe today on your favorite podcast platform. A production of Oasis media group, LLP, located in Las Vegas, Nevada.

[01:02:27] It’s copyright 2019 all rights reserved.

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